Sunday 8 October 2017

Because You're Worth It

This week's flower delivery

Shortly after I gave up drinking, I read a fabulous piece by my favourite journalist, Caitlin Moran. It was her letter to teenage girls. She wrote this:

Pretend you are your own baby. You would never cut that baby, or starve it, or overfeed it until it cried in pain, or tell it it was worthless.

Sometimes, girls have to be mothers to themselves. Your body wants to live – that’s all and everything it was born to do. Let it do that, in the safety you provide it. Protect it. That is your biggest job. To protect your skin, and heart.

Buy flowers – or if you are poor, steal one from someone’s garden; the world owes you that much at least: blossom – and put them at the end of the bed.

When you wake, look at it, and tell yourself you are the kind of person who wakes up and sees flowers.

This stops your first thought being, “I fear today. Today is the day maybe I cannot survive any more,” which I know is what you would otherwise think.

Thinking about blossom before you think about terror is what girls must always do, in the Bad Years.

Ever since I read those incredibly powerful words, I have spent the equivalent of two bottles of wine per week on having fresh flowers delivered to my house.

Every Tuesday, I wake up to find a box of incredible blooms sitting outside my front door. I bring them in, take them out, one by one, chop off the ends of the stems and arrange them in a vase, feeling like a 1950's housewife, and place them in the centre of my kitchen table.

Then, all week, I can tell myself that I am the kind of person who wakes up and sees fresh flowers. I remind myself what I've achieved. I tell myself that I deserve good things in my life. I feel grateful for the wonders of nature.

And the flowers make my family happy too. (I think. Perhaps they don't even notice them!)

So, if you've just quit the booze, think about how you might be able to spend some of the money you used to spend on your poison-of-choice in a way that could, every single day, remind you of how bloody amazing you are. And how wonderful life is.

If you have any good ideas, please tell us in the comments!

By the way, it really is worth reading the whole of that Caitlin Moran letter. It's as relevant to the middle-aged as it is to teenagers. She talks about how, in times of trouble, you should focus on just getting through the next minute - a hugely helpful trick if you're battling the wine witch.

So, I'm putting a video of Caitlin reading her letter on the SoberMummy Facebook page this evening. Also new on the page is the inspirational story of Tom Hardy, and what he managed to achieve after he dispatched his demons.

To visit the SoberMummy Facebook page click here. 'Like' the page to stay updated.

Love and flowers to you all,

SM x


  1. Hi SM - love this post and loving the Facebook page - extra pearls of wisdom from our dear guru ( who I'm eternally grateful to for helping me quit the evil witch of vino.) My fitness regime has been on the up since quitting the booze and I spend some of my extra cash on guilt free sports massages - bliss!!

  2. How freaking awesome is the flower delivery idea! I think it was Mrs. D that said she was doing the same sort of thing in early recovery. She would pick up a little treat at the stop and not care about the cost because she knew she was saving a fortune on not buying wine. I do the same. Usually chocolate, but occasionally bubble bath or scented candles to burn during my bath. Anything to perk up my week or day. I have also "rewarded myself" with bigger things like a new workout outfit and allowed myself to view it as "instead of the wine" spending. Its amazing what spoiling yourself does for your mood and with the alcohol savings the bank balance doesn't even notice either. Still need to set up that walk. Are you around during half term?

  3. I love this! We are all sooooooo worth it!!! And the idea of flowers and to have them delivered too, such a treat! I have to admit I'm definitely in the habit of treating myself (mainly cake or clothes!) often followed by saying "well I'm
    Not drinking now!!! I have never spent a lot of money on clothes so I don't buy expensive items but I just love buying a new dress for a night out or occasion and feel good in it all night, instead of just shoving somthing on and not caring how I looked just how drunk I could get! so yes heres to sober treats and looking after ourselves, we certainly deserve it!!! Xxxx oooh and I love Tom hardy!! Another treat! Xxxxx

  4. I love this and couldn't agree more. Since I've given up I've treated myself to buying plants from a really nice online shop which is a bit more expensive but I can get interesting and lovely things. Just finished putting in lovely wild daffs to look forward to next spring. When I was drinking, March would come round and I would always be cross that I hadn't got round planting anything in the Autumn but I get through so much more stuff these days. Sort of gives you your life back.

  5. I have also spent more money on the garden, and it's looking much improved. I've also started dancing lessons, which I would never have done before...

  6. Love all these posts and ideas. I'm only three weeks into my journey and have gone a bit mad spending on clothes to make me feel better but hope this will settle down to a sensible level! I attribute much of my success so far to this blog. Makes me look forward to my journey onwards and upwards 😀

  7. I think I've already spent all my 'wine credits' for the year :( but I've had fun. It's really important to celebrate and treat yourself, as no-one else will do it ( at least not properly ;) We have to remind ourselves that this *is* a big deal.



  8. Wow, the bad years. What a great description.
    I tell myself when I look in the mirror that I look great. It counters every other thought, like "Oh Gawd, what happened to my hair?" I tell other people the same thing in my thoughts. Because it's true. We are beautiful.

  9. I spend the money that I save from not drinking on yoga classes. I love it and it helps me to stay focused and balanced so there is no need to drink. But love the flowers idea too!