It's six weeks until the book comes out, and I'm starting to get seriously cold feet.
If you write fiction, and reviewers and readers don't like something about your heroine, it doesn't really matter. That's all part of having created a well-rounded, complex character.
However, when the main character in your novel is you, and people - for whatever reason - are critical about you, that's altogether harder to deal with.
I think I'm going to have to practice growing a very thick skin....
I also keep reminding myself why I'm doing this.
I wrote the book because I know that stories change lives, and because if we all stay quiet and anonymous, nothing will ever change and people will carry on struggling in silence and feeling alone.
I'm hoping that people will read my story and realise that there really is an alternative to spending your life self-medicating and blurring all the edges, and that that life is so much brighter, better, more real and more rewarding without booze.
And that's where I'm hoping you can help....
Over the last few years many of you have sent me wonderful e-mails and left incredible comments, saying how this blog has helped you.
My lovely publishers would very much like to use some of your quotes to feature in the advance publicity for the book on social media (Facebook mainly) so we can spread the word as widely as possible.
I obviously don't want to use any of your words without permission, so would be HUGELY grateful if you could post in the comments below anything you'd be happy for us to quote, about how and why this blog, and my story, has helped you, if it has.
If you're not happy using the name that comes up alongside your comment then just say so. You can make up any alternative name you like, or I can just call you 'blog reader' if you prefer.
If you'd rather mail me privately, or if Blogger isn't allowing you to comment (it's been playing up recently), then do mail me at sobermummy@gmail.com
Thank you SO much, I am terribly, terribly grateful - not just for this, but for all the support you've given me since I started this blog, nearly three years ago.
By the way, new on the SoberMummy Facebook page, one of my favourite poems for anyone who's ever fallen off the wagon (that's pretty much all of us, right?) and the most hilarious sketch about being a non-drinker by comedian Tony Baker.
(To go to the SoberMummy Facebook page, click here. 'Like' page to stay updated).
Love, and huge thanks, to you all,
SM x
"on my very first Friday night of sobriety, I found Sobermummy's blog. It kept me from drinking that night..and every night since in the last 21 months. Sobermummy is what came between me and the bottle. I am forever grateful."
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, lovely Sober at 53, for this and for all your support and encouragement over the years. You rock ❤️
Delete“When I found SoberMummy’s blog, the relief & hope that came from realising that I was not alone was indescribable and what set me on an alcohol free life 14 months ago. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to SM for that.”
ReplyDeleteHuge love and thanks to you Catherine! You are awesome and amazing 😘
DeleteI posted this back when I first found your site in March;
ReplyDeleteHi SM and thanks for the blog. I can't understand why I haven't found this site until now - perhaps because I only stopped drinking 19 days ago! So here I am, and this blog has had me laughing, nodding my head and quite frankly wondering how you knew so much about my experiences with wine ;)
I stayed up too late last night trying to read every post ( and comment ), but I'm going to have to take my time and read and re-read all this good stuff. It just feels good to know that someone else has been through exactly what I have been through and knows what I know ( and am learning ).
So I'll be following regularly and enjoying your great blog!
Love
Rob
Thank you so much, lovely Rob xxx
DeleteSober Mummy, I found you way back when, googling "stopping drinking" and found a link to your blog, which only had 2 posts then. I felt like I had in a strange way come home, knowing there were people like me out there. Women who had given up a career for a family, who were struggling with all that entails, self-medicating with alcohol and realising that if I didn't knock it on the head and soon the future did not look good. You helped me realise it was ok, there was someone else who felt like me, in fact there are loads of us out there and it's ok. It's normal to be scared of change, there is a life beyond drinking and it is full, happy and not trouble free but that's ok too. If there was anything I wrote that could be useful the feel free. Thank you for sharing your story so generously.
ReplyDeleteThank YOU Laura, for being alongside me from the very beginning. Love you 😍
DeleteHi Sober Mummy, On 29th August 2016 I decided that enough was enough - I spent some time with Mr Google and came upon your blog. Imagine my delight when I read just a year before on 31st August 2015 you had written a post answering all my questions and giving me hope. You became my go to place when the wine witch itched.
ReplyDeleteYou have remained my go to place - and what I would like to impress upon your new readers both here and of the book, is the generosity you give in staying with us. You started your blog as a self help, and it worked, but it became a support for others and you have kept that help current and fresh - not just cut and run when you felt better -- for which I personally thank you.
Happy for you to use this or any of the other comments I have made :-)
Thank you so much lovely Jacs. I’m so glad we found each other ❤️
DeleteYour book will be just like your blog, amazing. I'll be 2 years sober in January and without your posts this would not have been possible. You constantly remind me why being sober is such a good idea in a world full of alcohol. Keep spreading the word your doing a great job.
ReplyDeleteNearly 2 years! You are awesome DJ! Thanks so much for everything x
DeleteSobermummy has been a huge inspiration to me while trying to give up alcohol. I’ve followed her blog almost from the start and have laughed and cried with her. She feels like a friend, even though we’ve never met.
ReplyDeleteI love you Stokkie. Thank you!
DeleteI connected with Sober Mummy and also had the privilege of getting to know Clare from the beginning of my sober journey. She has made me laugh, I've cried a bit (a lot), and have been constantly inspired. It seems such an overused phrase, but I really don't know how I could have done it without her. Read her book, and her blog. It will change your life. Or I"LL give you your money back. Jackie Elliott.
ReplyDeleteThe feeling is so totally mutual, Jackie! You’ll always be Wine Bitch to me! Couldn’t have done it without you ❤️
DeleteSober Mummy is like a kind and funny friend leading me through the ups and downs of living without alcohol. Quite simply I couldn't have done it without her.
ReplyDeleteAnd I couldn’t have done it without incredible people like you, lovely Chris. Huge thanks and big love ❤️
DeleteI never would have made it through my first sober months without your blog. I was one year behind you on the journey, and so badly wanted to be a part of those who had "made it" to one year. Your grace and humor along the way has been invaluable. Your posts articulated exactly how I felt and showed me a future I wanted for myself - a happy, productive, wise and thoughtful woman who changed her own life and along the way made others lives better too.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much you wonderful, strong and brave lady. You rock. Big hugs x
DeleteGosh were do I start!!!
ReplyDeleteNearly a year ago I emailed you saying I had come across your blog and I was 2 days sober, explained why I wanted to stop drinking and how you sounded like the person I wanted to be! You replied within an hour and honestly you do not know how much that meant to me, and you just reassured me that I could do it! You made being sober seem possible, and I’ve said it before you have been a guiding light to me this past year. I can’t thank you enough Clare, I just know i couldn’t have done it without you, and i feel like I’ve made such a good friend along the way!! I am now days away from being 12 months sober and my life has improved in ways I could never imagine! Total game changer! Thank you soooooo much xxxxxx
Lovely Ang - thank you, yet again, for your amazing support. And please don’t forget to post here on your upcoming Soberversary so that we can all celebrate with you! You are incredible 🎉
DeleteAwww thank you!! I will!!! 😚xxxxx
DeleteWhen I found Sober Mummy I felt such a sense of hope and relief - here was someone with such a similar story to my own who had made it through to sobriety, and whose wise, funny and intelligent words have helped me immeasurably on my own journey. Thank you so much Clare xxx
ReplyDeletethank YOU, Pickle, for all your wonderful support along the way - you rock x
DeleteSober Mummy was a huge help to me, because here was a woman I could actually identify with - smart, educated, married, with kids, just like myself. It may seem snobbish, but many of the popular images of women drinking are of someone down-and-out, and not very representative of my life, being succesful myself - a high-functioning, but of course still-less-functioning alcoholic. And she's funny! We need som comic relief.
ReplyDeleteI love you hugely, Ulla! I hope you enjoy your appearance in the book! Big hugs xx
Delete14 months ago I woke up hungover once again, filled with a complete sense of shame and despair. I wanted desperately to escape from the shackles my wine addiction, but I didn’t know how. I had so many Day 1’s prior to that and they all ended in failure, some within 8 hours! And then I found this blog!! And I cried! I cried because I found someone who was telling my story and I was no longer alone. There was someone out there who drank for the same reasons and she decided she had enough. And she was winning! She was beating that wine witch to the ground and in the process she was rediscovering herself. It was beautiful. And she was doing it with grace and humor and humility and not only was it beautiful to watch, it gave me hope. So here I am, 14 months sober because Sober Mummy had the guts to start a blog and share her story. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
ReplyDelete14 months! Awesome! I remember all those Day 1's too. So glad you found me, and I you x
DeleteCouldn’t have done it without you lovely lady - for this I will be eternally grateful. Xxx
ReplyDeleteAnd I to you, gorgeous SFM x
DeleteI was feeling at my lowest and didn’t know where to turn to. I have a very supportive family but they didn’t really understand. I stumbled upon Sobermummys blog and it was the best find ever. I finally found a real person with real experiences I could relate to. So brave and open while injecting the right amount of humour. I emailed as I wanted to let her know how much her blog meant and the help it gave me and she replied within a few hours with words of love and support. A truly unique and amazing women with a very special gift x
ReplyDeleteOh thank you, thank you, Izzy. You are unique and amazing too! Huge hugs xxx
DeleteSo I found sobermummy's blog by chance one Monday morning when, once again, I had woken up full of self loathing and despair after yet another weekend drinking far too much and not remembering going to bed the night before. I was trapped in a horrible cycle of drinking too much, wanting to cut down and not being able to. I had never considered stopping altogether. In face it was one of my biggest fears - that something would happen (probably health wise) and I would be forced to stop. Withiut considering the 'forever' i knew i had to try and stop. I read the blog every day and soon discovered an absolute joy and freedom in not drinking that was totally unexpected. Who would have thought it!!! It was ever so hard at the start but once the initial habit of daily drinking was broken I felt part of something much bigger and I have never looked back. All thanks to sobermummy being brave enough to put it all out there. And regularly! And with such a beautiful way of expressing things. And with a relatable story. I cannot thank her enough!
ReplyDeleteOne of my first readers, EH - I'll never forget you! I'm doing a book signing in The Borders on 31st Jan. Will you come???? I'd love to give you a hug IN PERSON! xxx
DeleteI will try although it's a work day.... where will you be? Are you not coming up to Edinburgh?
DeletePlease pop into preston on your way to Edinburgh!!??? Actually just get yourself on a book signing tour in 2018, I’m sure so many of us would love to see you and thank you in person! 👍🏻😊Xxxxx
DeleteWhere is the book signing? I want to come?
Delete"I happened to find Sobermummy's blog when I was at my lowest ebb. A whole new world opened up to me. I was reading about women just like me who felt they drank too much and felt stuck in a no mans land between problem drinker and alcoholic. The stigma our society attaches to addiction is so bad that I would have rather died than admit I had a problem. Clare's blog made the idea of recovery accessible, it gave me hope that I could possbibly do this on my own terms with the help of an amazing sober blogging community. She is an enormous inspration to all of us."
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ReplyDeleteWhat does a forty-something American male have in common with a UK mummy of three? But having struggled with alcohol for several years having tried moderation forums, counseling, and even a couple of AA meetings - none of which worked - something about her refreshingly open honesty (which is often funny) resonated with me. I credit SM for showing me why abstinence was the logical and best option for me - and my life and outlook have been better ever since. Thanks SM and may your new book help others find better and happier life. Vincent (now a SoberDaddy) California, USA
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