Everybody needs a few props when they quit drinking.
We need things to keep our monkey brains occupied, we need new rituals, and we need something to do with our hands.
I spent a lot of time looking at my hands in the early days, thinking what are you for?
My hands had spent the whole of my twenties taking cigarettes out of their packet (turning the first one filter end up for luck. Anyone else?), lighting them, smoking them, waving them around for emphasis, then stubbing them out.
Then I quit smoking and, funnily enough, the drinking ramped up as my itchy hands opened bottles, poured wine out and sipped endlessly from glasses.
It's not surprising that not drinking creates a vacuum.
That's why props are so helpful - just make sure that they're not also addictive! Avoid nicotine and other narcotics, gambling and shopping, for example....
Here are my favourite sober props:
1. Hot chocolate.
It has, as I've said elsewhere on this blog, magical powers, and it got me through many an evening in the early days.
There's a lovely ritual involved in making it (warming, spooning, stirring), something comforting about drinking it and a welcome sugar hit.
Hot chocolate reminds us of our childhoods - of simpler days before the Wine Witch stuck her broom handle into our lives. We can wrap our idle hands around the warm mug and it'll hug us right back. A hug in a mug.
2. Becks Blue (and other AF drinks).
Everyone has their own favourite AF drinks. The trick is to find something as reminiscent of 'proper' adult drinks as possible, without triggering a craving.
Becks Blue works for me because I was never a beer drinker. AF wine, however, just makes me yearn for the real thing (and tastes ghastly).
On really tough days (like when I was going through the cancer thing) Becks Blue got me through. It seemed to trick my sub conscious into relaxing just a little bit - enough to stop me reaching for the Real Thing.
Other personal favourites include virgin mojitos and virgin Mary's.
3. Cake (and other forms of refined sugar)
Everyone seems to crave sugar when they quit, and cake - or chocolate - is a great reward for getting through another 'one day at a time.' So do it. You can worry about the weight later. Baby steps.
4. Blogging
One of my favourite props. It keeps your hands busy, your mind busy, plus it helps you work through all the emotional STUFF that comes with getting sober.
Writing a journal does the same thing, if you don't want to go public, but if you blog you'll create your own support group, and help other people along the way.
(See my post: Blogging Saved my Life).
The problem with props is we, being natural addicts and all or nothing types, worry that the props themselves will get out of control.
Well, I'm now EXACTLY fifteen months sober, and I've realised that the props are gradually assuming less of a role in my life. I seem to be naturally phasing them out.
(If only I'd been able to do that with the vino!)
Magical hot chocolate? Around six months ago I replaced it with green tea. Still warming, still a ritual, but also really good for you.
Becks Blue? I still love it, but I drink - on average - one a day, as opposed to the SIX I drank on the day I got the cancer diagnosis.
Cake? Still a vital food group, but once or twice a week, not every day.
And blogging?
I still can't imagine life without it BUT I'm managing to keep it down to four or five posts a week rather than seven, which means that I have more time to focus on doing something that might earn me some much needed cash....
So the other great thing about sober props is they provide a really useful barometer as to how you're doing. The less you need them, the 'better' you are.
Love to you all, with hot chocolate and cake thrown in,
SM X
Showing posts with label becks blue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label becks blue. Show all posts
Thursday, 2 June 2016
Thursday, 4 February 2016
Coping With Anxiety - Sober
This blog post was inspired by the wonderful Ulla, who left a fabulous simile in the comments section of one of my recent posts. Ulla said using alcohol to cope with anxiety is like peeing in your pants to keep warm. How brilliant is that?
Anxiety is a hot topic. I get a lot of e-mails about it. Because many of us started drinking too much as a way of taking the edge off anxiety.
I get the impression that a large proportion of us are perfectionists. We want to do really well in our careers. We want to have a great social life. And we want to be really good parents.
We're often hard on ourselves. Unforgiving. And when life doesn't live up to our expectations, as is often the case, it makes us really anxious.
So we drink. Easy peasy. Just taking the bottle out of the fridge makes our shoulders relax. Right?
But, the issue with our favourite coping strategy is that it only makes the problem worse! A bit like peeing in your pants to keep warm. The immediate sensation is an improvement, but you end up wet, colder than before, and smelly.
You see, alcohol causes anxiety. And depression. Because every time you stop drinking, your body starts withdrawing from alcohol, and that process makes you feel edgy and anxious. And the only way to take that uncomfortable feeling away is to drink more.
The other issue is that, because we've spent years using alcohol to medicate anxiety, we can't remember how to do it sober. We totally lose our confidence. We forget any other coping techniques we might once have had.
We're like the toddler who's terrified of sleeping without their comfort blanket. But you know that after a few nights of learning to manage without the blanket, the toddler's going to be just fine. They'll learn to cope, and be more confident than before. It's just a matter of practice, and faith....
.....and the same is true for you.
I found coping with stress and anxiety one of the hardest bits of going sober initially. And then, eight months in, I was thrown kicking and screaming into the advanced level class, when I got my cancer diagnosis.
Now, three months later on, cancer kicked into touch, I have graduated with a degree in Ninja Level Anxiety Management.
I still get anxious, obviously (like going back to the Cancer Clinic yesterday), but I know I can manage it. And, in managing it, I've found a sense of pride and self respect that I thought had been lost in the mists of time.
So, here's my eight top tips for coping with anxiety sober:
1. Relaxation techniques
As soon as you start getting that panicky feeling, try whichever relaxation technique works best for you. I love a hot bath (ideally with aromatherapy oils). Some people like deep breathing, mindfulness or meditation (there are several Apps that can help with these, like Headspace). Many swear by yoga.
2. Exercise
If you can't sit down and relax, because that'd only make you feel more edgy, then do the opposite: exercise.
Running, brisk walking, or any aerobic exercise helps get rid of the adrenaline and cortisol caused by stress and anxiety, and gives you a great shot of endorphins (nature's happy drug). Ideally, try to get outside too, as the outdoors is proven to boost mood and counter depression.
3. Distraction
If you're anxious about a specific thing, like an upcoming event, and can't stop yourself worrying, then try distraction. Make yourself focus on something else - ideally a creative task like baking, colouring, gardening, knitting. It's a form of mindfulness that helps your brain quieten down.
(see my post on Monkey Brain and Mindfulness)
4. Visualisation
If you're feeling scared, and unable to cope, try visualisation. Sounds daft, but it works! I like to picture myself as my favourite kick ass heroine. I used to use Madonna, back in the Desperately Seeking Susan days of corsets and conical bras. I moved on to Ripley in Alien (Get away from her, you bitch!). Now I focus on Khaleesi - Mother of Dragons.
(See my post: I am Khaleesi)
5. Congratulate Yourself
We forget, when things get tough, how awesome and strong we actually are. Remind yourself what you've achieved. You've got through xx days sober! Maybe you've made it through a divorce? A house move? Childbirth? You've coped with tough times before and you can do it again. And the more you do, the easier it'll be next time!
6. Props
Personally, I needed props in the early days. Something to trigger the subconscious into thinking ah yes, now I can chill out. Cake did it for me. Hot chocolate had magical powers. But my favourite prop was, and still is, Becks Blue alcohol free beer.
Some people find that AF drinks trigger cravings for the real thing. If this is the case for you, then avoid them like the plague. I don't (perhaps because beer was never my tipple of choice).
For me, Becks Blue fooled my subconscious into thinking it was getting a 'proper' drink. In the early days it even made me feel drunk. I have to confess, when I was going through the worst of the cancer days, I was drinking up to six small bottles a day. And they really helped. I know that I'm now feeling happier, because I'm down to one a day!
(See my post: Blue Without Becks Blue)
(Just be careful that your chosen 'prop' doesn't become another addiction. Ex alcohol addicts are notorious for sugar addictions, shopping addictions, nicotine or gambling habits.... you name it).
7. The worst that can happen....
Whatever is making you anxious, force yourself to think about the worst that could happen. Perhaps, for example, you're anxious about applying for a new job? The worst that could happen is that you don't get it. At least you tried!
Just remember that, whatever the situation, the worst thing that can happen is DOING NOTHING.
Scared about applying for that job, going on that date, making a new friend, so you don't bother? Find a lump and ignore it, hoping it'll go away. Crazy behaviour, right? But that's the kind of thing we did when we were drinking - we'd pour another glass and put it off until another day (that never came).
Fear is a natural part of life, of moving forward. If you're feeling fear and anxiety it's because you're living! If you're not, then you're slowly dying. A fly trapped forever in amber, or - more accurately, perhaps - pickled in vinegar.
8. Ask for help
Everyone needs a hand sometimes. And when I was going through the whole cancer thing, it was this blog and you guys who kept me sane. The first thing I did when I found the lump was to write a post on this blog. So lean on your family, on your friends, and on the sobersphere. We all like to help - it makes us feel useful!
I promise you, that once your body is through the physical withdrawal, which feels very much like constant anxiety, and once you get used to coping with those unfamiliar feelings sober, you will feel stronger, braver and less anxious than you can ever remember feeling before.
So go out there, and kick some ass!
Love SM x
Anxiety is a hot topic. I get a lot of e-mails about it. Because many of us started drinking too much as a way of taking the edge off anxiety.
I get the impression that a large proportion of us are perfectionists. We want to do really well in our careers. We want to have a great social life. And we want to be really good parents.
We're often hard on ourselves. Unforgiving. And when life doesn't live up to our expectations, as is often the case, it makes us really anxious.
So we drink. Easy peasy. Just taking the bottle out of the fridge makes our shoulders relax. Right?
But, the issue with our favourite coping strategy is that it only makes the problem worse! A bit like peeing in your pants to keep warm. The immediate sensation is an improvement, but you end up wet, colder than before, and smelly.
You see, alcohol causes anxiety. And depression. Because every time you stop drinking, your body starts withdrawing from alcohol, and that process makes you feel edgy and anxious. And the only way to take that uncomfortable feeling away is to drink more.
The other issue is that, because we've spent years using alcohol to medicate anxiety, we can't remember how to do it sober. We totally lose our confidence. We forget any other coping techniques we might once have had.
We're like the toddler who's terrified of sleeping without their comfort blanket. But you know that after a few nights of learning to manage without the blanket, the toddler's going to be just fine. They'll learn to cope, and be more confident than before. It's just a matter of practice, and faith....
.....and the same is true for you.
I found coping with stress and anxiety one of the hardest bits of going sober initially. And then, eight months in, I was thrown kicking and screaming into the advanced level class, when I got my cancer diagnosis.
Now, three months later on, cancer kicked into touch, I have graduated with a degree in Ninja Level Anxiety Management.
I still get anxious, obviously (like going back to the Cancer Clinic yesterday), but I know I can manage it. And, in managing it, I've found a sense of pride and self respect that I thought had been lost in the mists of time.
So, here's my eight top tips for coping with anxiety sober:
1. Relaxation techniques
As soon as you start getting that panicky feeling, try whichever relaxation technique works best for you. I love a hot bath (ideally with aromatherapy oils). Some people like deep breathing, mindfulness or meditation (there are several Apps that can help with these, like Headspace). Many swear by yoga.
2. Exercise
If you can't sit down and relax, because that'd only make you feel more edgy, then do the opposite: exercise.
Running, brisk walking, or any aerobic exercise helps get rid of the adrenaline and cortisol caused by stress and anxiety, and gives you a great shot of endorphins (nature's happy drug). Ideally, try to get outside too, as the outdoors is proven to boost mood and counter depression.
3. Distraction
If you're anxious about a specific thing, like an upcoming event, and can't stop yourself worrying, then try distraction. Make yourself focus on something else - ideally a creative task like baking, colouring, gardening, knitting. It's a form of mindfulness that helps your brain quieten down.
(see my post on Monkey Brain and Mindfulness)
4. Visualisation
If you're feeling scared, and unable to cope, try visualisation. Sounds daft, but it works! I like to picture myself as my favourite kick ass heroine. I used to use Madonna, back in the Desperately Seeking Susan days of corsets and conical bras. I moved on to Ripley in Alien (Get away from her, you bitch!). Now I focus on Khaleesi - Mother of Dragons.
(See my post: I am Khaleesi)
5. Congratulate Yourself
We forget, when things get tough, how awesome and strong we actually are. Remind yourself what you've achieved. You've got through xx days sober! Maybe you've made it through a divorce? A house move? Childbirth? You've coped with tough times before and you can do it again. And the more you do, the easier it'll be next time!
6. Props
Personally, I needed props in the early days. Something to trigger the subconscious into thinking ah yes, now I can chill out. Cake did it for me. Hot chocolate had magical powers. But my favourite prop was, and still is, Becks Blue alcohol free beer.
Some people find that AF drinks trigger cravings for the real thing. If this is the case for you, then avoid them like the plague. I don't (perhaps because beer was never my tipple of choice).
For me, Becks Blue fooled my subconscious into thinking it was getting a 'proper' drink. In the early days it even made me feel drunk. I have to confess, when I was going through the worst of the cancer days, I was drinking up to six small bottles a day. And they really helped. I know that I'm now feeling happier, because I'm down to one a day!
(See my post: Blue Without Becks Blue)
(Just be careful that your chosen 'prop' doesn't become another addiction. Ex alcohol addicts are notorious for sugar addictions, shopping addictions, nicotine or gambling habits.... you name it).
7. The worst that can happen....
Whatever is making you anxious, force yourself to think about the worst that could happen. Perhaps, for example, you're anxious about applying for a new job? The worst that could happen is that you don't get it. At least you tried!
Just remember that, whatever the situation, the worst thing that can happen is DOING NOTHING.
Scared about applying for that job, going on that date, making a new friend, so you don't bother? Find a lump and ignore it, hoping it'll go away. Crazy behaviour, right? But that's the kind of thing we did when we were drinking - we'd pour another glass and put it off until another day (that never came).
Fear is a natural part of life, of moving forward. If you're feeling fear and anxiety it's because you're living! If you're not, then you're slowly dying. A fly trapped forever in amber, or - more accurately, perhaps - pickled in vinegar.
8. Ask for help
Everyone needs a hand sometimes. And when I was going through the whole cancer thing, it was this blog and you guys who kept me sane. The first thing I did when I found the lump was to write a post on this blog. So lean on your family, on your friends, and on the sobersphere. We all like to help - it makes us feel useful!
I promise you, that once your body is through the physical withdrawal, which feels very much like constant anxiety, and once you get used to coping with those unfamiliar feelings sober, you will feel stronger, braver and less anxious than you can ever remember feeling before.
So go out there, and kick some ass!
Love SM x
Monday, 1 February 2016
Sober House Party
Saturday night was a friend's birthday party.
She'd invited fourteen of the old University gang to her house in the country for dinner, and to stay the night. We'd all managed to offload the children, so it was a rare 'grown ups only' event.
I took a six pack of the trusty Beck's Blues down with me, and stashed them in the hostess's fridge.
And you know what? I've pretty much cracked the whole partying sober thing.
For a start, it really helps when you feel physically good, which after eleven months off the booze you do.
(Click here for more on quitting drinking and losing weight).
I didn't feel totally 'hot', but did feel, at the very least, 'warm.' I wore a red lace dress, and, according to Mr SM, everybody said I looked great (admittedly, they hadn't seen me since the whole cancer thing, so their expectations were probably pretty low).
I happily drank my AF beers before dinner. Then, once we'd sat down, I let them pour me a glass of red wine, but just drank the water. (People feel edgy if their dinner companion has an empty glass. So long as it's full, they don't care, or notice, if you drink it or not).
I had great fun at dinner catching up with old friends, then I won a table football tournament hands down (easy when the opposition are all drunk), and did lots of silly dancing.
Plus, I discovered that I have a new role at parties. People want to talk to me. They offload. They ask advice. This hasn't happened to me for years! No-one wants an in depth conversation with the out of control lush....
I talked to one friend about his insomnia, another about her new business ideas and yearning to escape London, and a third about being a step mum. Proper, life enhancing conversations that I still remember!
Then, at about 1.30am I sloped off to bed, knowing that no-one would notice, and that the only bit of the party I was missing was the bit that no-one would recall clearly.
And the morning!
A house full of hangovers. What a treat. I tried really hard not to feel smug, because that would be mean and unsympathetic of me.
I failed.
As I left, the hostess gave me a hug and said "I feel awful. I think I may join you on the whole no booze thing...."
We picked the children up from my parents' house, and took them out for lunch.
I was eulogising about the fact that Pizza Express have started stocking alcohol free beer (Vive La Revolution!)
#2 piped up "Mummy, how long has it been since you had any wine?"
"Nearly a year, sweetheart," I replied. "Why? Do you prefer it when I don't drink wine? Am I different?"
"Yes," he replied, "you're more....."
We all waited in anticipation, while he searched for an appropriate adjective. Beautiful? Patient? Kind?
"......Mummyish," he concluded with a flourish.
So, there you have it. Quit drinking. You'll still have a ball at parties, and you'll be more.... Mummyish.
Love SM x
She'd invited fourteen of the old University gang to her house in the country for dinner, and to stay the night. We'd all managed to offload the children, so it was a rare 'grown ups only' event.
I took a six pack of the trusty Beck's Blues down with me, and stashed them in the hostess's fridge.
And you know what? I've pretty much cracked the whole partying sober thing.
For a start, it really helps when you feel physically good, which after eleven months off the booze you do.
(Click here for more on quitting drinking and losing weight).
I didn't feel totally 'hot', but did feel, at the very least, 'warm.' I wore a red lace dress, and, according to Mr SM, everybody said I looked great (admittedly, they hadn't seen me since the whole cancer thing, so their expectations were probably pretty low).
I happily drank my AF beers before dinner. Then, once we'd sat down, I let them pour me a glass of red wine, but just drank the water. (People feel edgy if their dinner companion has an empty glass. So long as it's full, they don't care, or notice, if you drink it or not).
I had great fun at dinner catching up with old friends, then I won a table football tournament hands down (easy when the opposition are all drunk), and did lots of silly dancing.
Plus, I discovered that I have a new role at parties. People want to talk to me. They offload. They ask advice. This hasn't happened to me for years! No-one wants an in depth conversation with the out of control lush....
I talked to one friend about his insomnia, another about her new business ideas and yearning to escape London, and a third about being a step mum. Proper, life enhancing conversations that I still remember!
Then, at about 1.30am I sloped off to bed, knowing that no-one would notice, and that the only bit of the party I was missing was the bit that no-one would recall clearly.
And the morning!
A house full of hangovers. What a treat. I tried really hard not to feel smug, because that would be mean and unsympathetic of me.
I failed.
As I left, the hostess gave me a hug and said "I feel awful. I think I may join you on the whole no booze thing...."
We picked the children up from my parents' house, and took them out for lunch.
I was eulogising about the fact that Pizza Express have started stocking alcohol free beer (Vive La Revolution!)
#2 piped up "Mummy, how long has it been since you had any wine?"
"Nearly a year, sweetheart," I replied. "Why? Do you prefer it when I don't drink wine? Am I different?"
"Yes," he replied, "you're more....."
We all waited in anticipation, while he searched for an appropriate adjective. Beautiful? Patient? Kind?
"......Mummyish," he concluded with a flourish.
So, there you have it. Quit drinking. You'll still have a ball at parties, and you'll be more.... Mummyish.
Love SM x
Wednesday, 9 September 2015
Aarrgghh! I Fell off the Wagon!
Well, I didn't so much fall, as was pushed. In that it was entirely not my fault.
A few days ago, Mr SM had asked me to buy him some beers. His favourite brands were out of stock, so I'd picked up a few bottles of Becks.
Then, yesterday I cracked open a Becks Blue (AF beer), and poured it into a glass. I was cooking and watching Jamie Oliver on the telly, so was a bit distracted as I took a (large-ish) gulp.
Now, over the last few months I had convinced myself that Becks Blue is pretty much exactly the same as the real thing (only lovely and harmless, not totally evil). This, it transpires, is categorically NOT THE CASE.
I knew immediately that I had picked up the wrong beer.
I panicked.
Several thoughts ran simultaneously around my head, something like this:
Well, that's it. You've blown it now. This'll set you off on a complete bender. They'll be pulling you out of the gutter at 2am and sending you straight to A&E to have your stomach pumped.
As well as: OMG! Remember that whole furore at Soberistas about day counting? (See my post: It's All Kicking Off at Soberistas). Now you'll have to start back at Day One! After six sodding months!
And the wily old Wine Witch, who I'd managed to keep firmly in her box for some time, was back with a vengeance: hey, you don't know it's a real beer. You haven't actually checked the bottle yet! Why not drink it? After all, it wouldn't be your fault.....
I held the offending glass at arms length, took it to the kitchen sink and threw it away.
Just one sip and it really threw me. I felt anxious. Cross. Edgy. I had the worst night's sleep I've had in months (which can't possibly be due to just one sip of beer, but was a salutary reminder of 'the olden days').
Isn't it ironic that six months ago I'd panic if I didn't have two bottles of vino in the house at all times, and yet now drinking just one mouthful of beer can throw me into a tailspin? How things change...
Today I'm feeling better. It really was a teeny, tiny bit of alcohol. It can't have had any effect. It wasn't my fault, and there's no way I'm restarting the day counter.
And, in a way, it was a good thing. Because it's shown me that if I can panic that much about one mouthful of beer, then just think how hard I'd find it to forgive myself for a whole glass of wine.
There's no way I'm going there.
Love to you all, and be careful what you pick up....
SM
A few days ago, Mr SM had asked me to buy him some beers. His favourite brands were out of stock, so I'd picked up a few bottles of Becks.
Then, yesterday I cracked open a Becks Blue (AF beer), and poured it into a glass. I was cooking and watching Jamie Oliver on the telly, so was a bit distracted as I took a (large-ish) gulp.
Now, over the last few months I had convinced myself that Becks Blue is pretty much exactly the same as the real thing (only lovely and harmless, not totally evil). This, it transpires, is categorically NOT THE CASE.
I knew immediately that I had picked up the wrong beer.
I panicked.
Several thoughts ran simultaneously around my head, something like this:
Well, that's it. You've blown it now. This'll set you off on a complete bender. They'll be pulling you out of the gutter at 2am and sending you straight to A&E to have your stomach pumped.
As well as: OMG! Remember that whole furore at Soberistas about day counting? (See my post: It's All Kicking Off at Soberistas). Now you'll have to start back at Day One! After six sodding months!
And the wily old Wine Witch, who I'd managed to keep firmly in her box for some time, was back with a vengeance: hey, you don't know it's a real beer. You haven't actually checked the bottle yet! Why not drink it? After all, it wouldn't be your fault.....
I held the offending glass at arms length, took it to the kitchen sink and threw it away.
Just one sip and it really threw me. I felt anxious. Cross. Edgy. I had the worst night's sleep I've had in months (which can't possibly be due to just one sip of beer, but was a salutary reminder of 'the olden days').
Isn't it ironic that six months ago I'd panic if I didn't have two bottles of vino in the house at all times, and yet now drinking just one mouthful of beer can throw me into a tailspin? How things change...
Today I'm feeling better. It really was a teeny, tiny bit of alcohol. It can't have had any effect. It wasn't my fault, and there's no way I'm restarting the day counter.
And, in a way, it was a good thing. Because it's shown me that if I can panic that much about one mouthful of beer, then just think how hard I'd find it to forgive myself for a whole glass of wine.
There's no way I'm going there.
Love to you all, and be careful what you pick up....
SM
Saturday, 1 August 2015
Blue Without Becks Blue
We've arrived in Cornwall!
I've discovered that there's one window in our cottage from which I can access a wifi hotspot. So here I am, snuggled on the windowsill in my pyjamas, looking out at the stunning, wild, wet and windy landscape.
Yesterday was hard. I was up at the crack of dawn, packing for several hours, trying to cram everything into our (not large) car and still leave enough room for 3 children.
This was tricky as I'd bought enough Becks Blue (alcohol free beer) to sink a battleship. I didn't know if Becks Blue has yet penetrated this remote corner of the world and wanted to Be Prepared. Luckily I squished it all in and didn't have to choose between leaving behind the beer or a child.
I did the drive down in horrible traffic on my own (Mr SM following on by train after a day at work). Then I had another hour of unpacking while simultaneously dealing with 3 overexcited children.
Arriving at a holiday destination pulls every trigger there is: stress (tick), exhaustion (tick), celebration (tick), reward (tick), anxiety (tick). BUT I had planned ahead! I am an expert at this game! I had a chilled Becks Blue waiting for exactly this moment.
What I hadn't counted on was there being NO SODDING BOTTLE OPENER!
I turned the cottage upside down. The children were hollering to go to the beach. I was a woman possessed. I looked like.....AN ADDICT! (Who'd have thought it?)
I've obviously lived a sheltered existence as I had no idea how to get the lid off without an opener. I tried everything, and only succeeded in hurting my hands.
In the end, I went into the garden and smashed the top off on a stone. Needless to say, it went everywhere, leaving me with two gulps, lots of foam and broken glass.
The kids and I walked down to the beach as the sun was setting, and ate Cornish ice cream, sitting on the rocks watching the waves.
Bliss.
I'm not going to quit the Becks Blue while I'm here - after all I have 2 crates to get through - but I am going to try.....MODERATION!!!
Although, moderating the time I spend blogging doesn't seem to be working. I'm still at it every day...
Still, as Mr SM keeps reminding me, there are worse addictions to have.
Don't we know it!?!
Love SM x
I've discovered that there's one window in our cottage from which I can access a wifi hotspot. So here I am, snuggled on the windowsill in my pyjamas, looking out at the stunning, wild, wet and windy landscape.
Yesterday was hard. I was up at the crack of dawn, packing for several hours, trying to cram everything into our (not large) car and still leave enough room for 3 children.
This was tricky as I'd bought enough Becks Blue (alcohol free beer) to sink a battleship. I didn't know if Becks Blue has yet penetrated this remote corner of the world and wanted to Be Prepared. Luckily I squished it all in and didn't have to choose between leaving behind the beer or a child.
I did the drive down in horrible traffic on my own (Mr SM following on by train after a day at work). Then I had another hour of unpacking while simultaneously dealing with 3 overexcited children.
Arriving at a holiday destination pulls every trigger there is: stress (tick), exhaustion (tick), celebration (tick), reward (tick), anxiety (tick). BUT I had planned ahead! I am an expert at this game! I had a chilled Becks Blue waiting for exactly this moment.
What I hadn't counted on was there being NO SODDING BOTTLE OPENER!
I turned the cottage upside down. The children were hollering to go to the beach. I was a woman possessed. I looked like.....AN ADDICT! (Who'd have thought it?)
I've obviously lived a sheltered existence as I had no idea how to get the lid off without an opener. I tried everything, and only succeeded in hurting my hands.
In the end, I went into the garden and smashed the top off on a stone. Needless to say, it went everywhere, leaving me with two gulps, lots of foam and broken glass.
The kids and I walked down to the beach as the sun was setting, and ate Cornish ice cream, sitting on the rocks watching the waves.
Bliss.
I'm not going to quit the Becks Blue while I'm here - after all I have 2 crates to get through - but I am going to try.....MODERATION!!!
Although, moderating the time I spend blogging doesn't seem to be working. I'm still at it every day...
Still, as Mr SM keeps reminding me, there are worse addictions to have.
Don't we know it!?!
Love SM x
Friday, 1 May 2015
Is Alcohol Free Beer Evil?
Day 61! Yee Hah!
About 2 weeks into the sobercoaster I discovered Becks Blue 'Alcohol Free' Beer.
Now I've never been a beer drinker. All weak, gassy and full of calories (that's a description of me and the beer, incidentally). I only ever drank beer if I was on one of my many (doomed) attempts to 'moderate'. Wine was my thing.
But when the wine witch strikes, and you need something to stop you killing someone, you have to have coping strategies.
My list includes: (1) Hot bath with bubbles and candles (works well until #1, #2 and #3 pile into bathroom asking for help with homework/whereabouts of favourite toy/refereeing sibling disagreement. (2) Sharing with likeminded friends in the blogosphere (also easily interrupted) (3) Drinking hot chocolate, 'mocktails' or alcohol free beer.
Of the above, the beer option is often the quickest, simplest and most effective antidote. Becks Blue is so like the real thing - it looks the same, tastes the same and smells the same - that I swear the first time I drank one I felt tipsy. It just goes to show how deeply programmed our brains are to equate certain cues with drunkenness.
Then I discovered that 'alcohol free' beers are NOT actually alcohol free. Plus, many experts strongly advise against them on the basis that they can lead to relapse. I freaked out. So I did some investigation.
Becks Blue is, it is true, NOT entirely alcohol free. However, it has only 'trace' elements of alcohol in it. Less than 0.05% ABV. This means that it is impossible to get intoxicated by drinking it. You would have to drink at least one hundred beers in a short space of time to get any effect at all from them.
However, remember that whole dopamine thing I've been obsessed by? Well, tests have shown that, in addicts, even the smell of alcohol, even the thought of alcohol, produces the dopamine reaction in our brains. The danger is, therefore, that drinking AF beer intensifies our cravings and can lead quickly to us reaching for the real thing. We need, the experts say, to get used to living life without any alcohol 'substitutes'.
It's true that drinking AF beer does trigger the old addict responses in me. I start thinking "I'd love a Becks Blue, but I'd better wait until after 6pm. Should I have another one? Hell yes, I deserve it, I've had a hard day...." etc etc, just the way I used to think about wine. But, oddly enough, that's part of the reason it works for me. I've kidded my brain into thinking that it is a proper treat - it is naughty. Much more so than fruity mocktails.
I do realise that I'm keeping the addict voice alive, and that I could be treading a dangerous path, but I've been drinking an average of 8 AF beers a week for the last six weeks and so far it has never triggered the desire to have a 'proper drink'. Quite the reverse - it makes me feel that I have had a proper drink and, therefore, keeps the wine witch off my back for a bit.
Not only that, but Becks Blue has helped me out in social situations too. An old friend of mine, a big drinker, dropped by last week. She and my husband tucked into a bottle of Chablis. Now when I last had a serious go at quitting this friend took it as a personal insult and gave me rather a hard time about it.
Given how rarely I see her (she lives out of town now) I didn't want to ruin both of our evenings with a tense exchange about booze. (I realise that her reaction is indicative of her own issues with alcohol, incidentally). So I quietly poured a Becks Blue into a glass and avoided any interrogation. Simples.
I posted the question "Is AF beer evil?" on the fabulous Soberistas website. I got a really mixed response. Some people said hell yes, do not touch with a bargepole, whereas there were several big fans.
I think that the truth is you have to know your own triggers. I was never a beer drinker, so beer isn't one of mine. I would never consider touching AF wine.
I also feel that, at least in the early stages, you have to love yourself a little, and if that means eating a bit too much chocolate, spending a bit of cash on shoes or drinking a few Becks Blues then so be it. Now that I am a yoda level 'quitter' I can give up all those habits further down the line....
I'd love your views on this one.
SM x
About 2 weeks into the sobercoaster I discovered Becks Blue 'Alcohol Free' Beer.
Now I've never been a beer drinker. All weak, gassy and full of calories (that's a description of me and the beer, incidentally). I only ever drank beer if I was on one of my many (doomed) attempts to 'moderate'. Wine was my thing.
But when the wine witch strikes, and you need something to stop you killing someone, you have to have coping strategies.
My list includes: (1) Hot bath with bubbles and candles (works well until #1, #2 and #3 pile into bathroom asking for help with homework/whereabouts of favourite toy/refereeing sibling disagreement. (2) Sharing with likeminded friends in the blogosphere (also easily interrupted) (3) Drinking hot chocolate, 'mocktails' or alcohol free beer.
Of the above, the beer option is often the quickest, simplest and most effective antidote. Becks Blue is so like the real thing - it looks the same, tastes the same and smells the same - that I swear the first time I drank one I felt tipsy. It just goes to show how deeply programmed our brains are to equate certain cues with drunkenness.
Then I discovered that 'alcohol free' beers are NOT actually alcohol free. Plus, many experts strongly advise against them on the basis that they can lead to relapse. I freaked out. So I did some investigation.
Becks Blue is, it is true, NOT entirely alcohol free. However, it has only 'trace' elements of alcohol in it. Less than 0.05% ABV. This means that it is impossible to get intoxicated by drinking it. You would have to drink at least one hundred beers in a short space of time to get any effect at all from them.
However, remember that whole dopamine thing I've been obsessed by? Well, tests have shown that, in addicts, even the smell of alcohol, even the thought of alcohol, produces the dopamine reaction in our brains. The danger is, therefore, that drinking AF beer intensifies our cravings and can lead quickly to us reaching for the real thing. We need, the experts say, to get used to living life without any alcohol 'substitutes'.
It's true that drinking AF beer does trigger the old addict responses in me. I start thinking "I'd love a Becks Blue, but I'd better wait until after 6pm. Should I have another one? Hell yes, I deserve it, I've had a hard day...." etc etc, just the way I used to think about wine. But, oddly enough, that's part of the reason it works for me. I've kidded my brain into thinking that it is a proper treat - it is naughty. Much more so than fruity mocktails.
I do realise that I'm keeping the addict voice alive, and that I could be treading a dangerous path, but I've been drinking an average of 8 AF beers a week for the last six weeks and so far it has never triggered the desire to have a 'proper drink'. Quite the reverse - it makes me feel that I have had a proper drink and, therefore, keeps the wine witch off my back for a bit.
Not only that, but Becks Blue has helped me out in social situations too. An old friend of mine, a big drinker, dropped by last week. She and my husband tucked into a bottle of Chablis. Now when I last had a serious go at quitting this friend took it as a personal insult and gave me rather a hard time about it.
Given how rarely I see her (she lives out of town now) I didn't want to ruin both of our evenings with a tense exchange about booze. (I realise that her reaction is indicative of her own issues with alcohol, incidentally). So I quietly poured a Becks Blue into a glass and avoided any interrogation. Simples.
I posted the question "Is AF beer evil?" on the fabulous Soberistas website. I got a really mixed response. Some people said hell yes, do not touch with a bargepole, whereas there were several big fans.
I think that the truth is you have to know your own triggers. I was never a beer drinker, so beer isn't one of mine. I would never consider touching AF wine.
I also feel that, at least in the early stages, you have to love yourself a little, and if that means eating a bit too much chocolate, spending a bit of cash on shoes or drinking a few Becks Blues then so be it. Now that I am a yoda level 'quitter' I can give up all those habits further down the line....
I'd love your views on this one.
SM x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)