Aarrgghh! I Fell off the Wagon!

Well, I didn't so much fall, as was pushed. In that it was entirely not my fault.

A few days ago, Mr SM had asked me to buy him some beers. His favourite brands were out of stock, so I'd picked up a few bottles of Becks.

Then, yesterday I cracked open a Becks Blue (AF beer), and poured it into a glass. I was cooking and watching Jamie Oliver on the telly, so was a bit distracted as I took a (large-ish) gulp.

Now, over the last few months I had convinced myself that Becks Blue is pretty much exactly the same as the real thing (only lovely and harmless, not totally evil). This, it transpires, is categorically NOT THE CASE.

I knew immediately that I had picked up the wrong beer.

I panicked.

Several thoughts ran simultaneously around my head, something like this:

Well, that's it. You've blown it now. This'll set you off on a complete bender. They'll be pulling you out of the gutter at 2am and sending you straight to A&E to have your stomach pumped.

As well as: OMG! Remember that whole furore at Soberistas about day counting? (See my post: It's All Kicking Off at Soberistas). Now you'll have to start back at Day One! After six sodding months!

And the wily old Wine Witch, who I'd managed to keep firmly in her box for some time, was back with a vengeance: hey, you don't know it's a real beer. You haven't actually checked the bottle yet! Why not drink it? After all, it wouldn't be your fault.....

I held the offending glass at arms length, took it to the kitchen sink and threw it away.

Just one sip and it really threw me. I felt anxious. Cross. Edgy. I had the worst night's sleep I've had in months (which can't possibly be due to just one sip of beer, but was a salutary reminder of 'the olden days').

Isn't it ironic that six months ago I'd panic if I didn't have two bottles of vino in the house at all times, and yet now drinking just one mouthful of beer can throw me into a tailspin? How things change...

Today I'm feeling better. It really was a teeny, tiny bit of alcohol. It can't have had any effect. It wasn't my fault, and there's no way I'm restarting the day counter.

And, in a way, it was a good thing. Because it's shown me that if I can panic that much about one mouthful of beer, then just think how hard I'd find it to forgive myself for a whole glass of wine.

There's no way I'm going there.

Love to you all, and be careful what you pick up....

SM