Welcome to Mummy was a Secret Drinker

I used to hate January. It's cold and dark. The bathroom scales are the harbingers of doom and you dare not even peek at your bank balance. It's miserable.

But now, it's one of my favourite months of the year. Because if you don't drink, you feel like a bit of an outlier for most months of the year, but not, my friends, in January.

Right now, we sober people are surfing the zeitgeist and feeling positively fashionable. I was even in the Sunday Times Style Magazine last weekend. Whoop whoop.

Another New Year bonus is that I get thousands of new visitors to this blog, and if you are one of them, then WELCOME!

I started writing Mummy was a Secret Drinker when I first gave up booze, back in March 2015. I used the blog as therapy, and I wrote every single day. So there are nearly 500 posts on here now.

I thought it might be helpful to signpost some of the ones that you might find most useful.

You might want to start by reading this post, which I wrote when I'd been sober for 1000 days. I had no idea how much quitting alcohol would change every aspect of my life. If you need some inspiration, you'll find it here.

The post I wrote on Three Secrets to Success gives you my top tips for getting sober.

This one, on Making Sober Less Shameful features the TEDx talk I did on what it's like to quit alcohol in a world where everyone drinks.

If you want to learn a bit more about how addiction feels, then try this post on Understanding the Wine Witch.

If you're still not sure whether to quit drinking, or just cut down, then read this: Why Don't You Just Drink Less?

If you'd like to read my blog from the beginning (which is quite an undertaking), then click here.

If you're a fan of the Facebook, then I post inspiration and information every day on the SoberMummy Facebook page. Click here (and 'like' page if you want to stay updated).

If my regular readers have any favourite posts you'd like to highlight, please add them to the comments below!

You can read the story of my first year sober in the book described as 'Bridget Jones Dries Out' - The Sober Diaries. Click here for my Amazon page in the UK, or here for the USA.

Happy New Year to you all!

SM x

Beyond Dry January

I did Dry January a few times, back in the old days.

I would always start a day or two late. After all, a relatively boozy January 1st was the only really sensible way to cope with the hangover from New Year's Eve - right?

By this point in January, I'd be ready to throw in the towel.

I've made it through pretty much the whole month! I'd congratulate myself. I've proven to myself that I CAN DO IT. I'm not an 'alcoholic'. What's more, I've learned my lesson. I've 'recalibrated.' No more excess for me! From now on, it's 'everything in moderation.'

Yet, by the end of February, I'd be back to drinking just as much as before, probably more so.

Is that how you're thinking right now?

I really don't want to get all preachy here. If you really can drink happily and sensibly, then crack on. I admire you. (Although, full disclosure, I hate you a teeny bit too. HOW DO YOU DO THAT?)

But can you? Really?

Or are you an all-or-nothing person who finds trying to moderate stuff not just difficult, but exhausting and soul destroying?

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life just waiting for the next opportunity to have the next drink, and constantly hating yourself for drinking more than you were supposed to?

Wouldn't it be better to be free of all that?

Here are some good reasons to keep going:

You've done the hard bit already.

You've done the physical detox. You've probably been feeling utterly exhausted, maybe you've had headaches and felt a bit flu-ey, perhaps you've had trouble getting to sleep. You might have been grumpy and distracted and generally a bit meh. 

But now you're coming out the other side.

Your poor, abused body is emerging from its chrysalis thinking way-hey! Shiny new world of toxin-free loveliness! I am a butterfly! See my pretty wings! 

Do you really want to fill it up to the brim with poisons again?

The good bits are yet to come!

The real benefits of being sober take weeks, months and some take years to really emerge. You've seen nothing yet.

Right now you should be feeling your energy levels returning. Your brain starts firing on all cylinders and you feel more creative and 'buzzed' than you've done for ages.

Imagine what you could achieve over the next year or two if you keep on going? Write a book? Decorate a house? Start a business?

You might have lost some of the boozy puffiness, but usually the more dramatic weight loss takes a while to kick in. For me it didn't happen until after about one hundred days.

By now I bet you've started sleeping brilliantly. Your body is just starting to enjoy the deep, restful sleep it's been craving for years, and the benefits of that proper sleep keep on coming, if you let them.

After a few weeks off the booze you're probably feeling your anxiety levels subside and your moods levelling out. Imagine the impact of that on the rest of your life, and on all your relationships, if it continues!

And I've bet you've saved some money, right? Well, multiply that by twelve and think about what you could treat yourself to in a year's time if you're not throwing money away on alcohol.

Up till now, you've probably been thinking about booze an awful lot. It's taking up a huge amount of headspace. Well, after a few months sober, you just stop thinking about it.

It's really is such a relief having so much time and space to think about other stuff. And the sense of peace and freedom that comes from that is just around the corner, if you keep on marching.

If you start drinking again now, having done all the hard bits, but not yet got to the really good bits, then all you're doing is re-inforcing to your subconscious that life without booze is miserable.

Keep on going, and you'll soon discover that that is absolutely not the case.

Miracles wait around the next corner, so don't stop now....

If you'd like to know more about what happens in the first year after giving up booze, then check out my book, The Sober Diaries (available in hardback, e-book and audio). Click here to go to my Amazon page. You can read the first few chapters for free with the 'look inside' feature.

(By the way, a HUGE thanks to the ONE HUNDRED people who've left such incredible reviews. I am completely overwhelmed).

For daily inspiration and information go to the SoberMummy Facebook page here, or follow me on Instagram @clare_pooley

Love to you all!

SM x

Dry January

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Welcome to a brand new decade. A clean sheet of paper. A fresh start. A chance to be a new you, or to rediscover the old you.

Is your New Year's resolution to do Dry January?

If so, you're not alone. An estimated 5 million people in the UK are taking part in the Dry January challenge in 2020.

Whether you want to quit just for for the next month, or whether you've realised you've got to give it up forever, here is some advice on how to get through the first 31 days.

It's really hard to condense this into just one post, but there's more information on all of this - and very much more - throughout this blog and on the SoberMummy Facebook page.

1. Preparation

Getting your head in the right place is crucial. If you start the month with a sense of dread and deprivation you'll never make it.

You are doing an amazing thing. You are about to change your life for the better. Be excited!

If that last sentence is just incredibly irritating, and you can't imagine feeling anything like excitement right now, then read Jason Vale's book: Kick the Drink, Easily.

In fact, read it anyway. It'll completely change the way you think about drinking, and make the whole process of quitting much easier.

You could also read The Sober Diaries (click here) about my first twelve months off the booze, which will give you a really good idea of all the downs, and the ups, that you can expect, with a few good laughs (and some tears) along the way.

Write down, right now, while you can remember, all the reasons why you want to stop. The big ones (like health concerns) and all the little ones (like being embarrassed about all the empty bottles in your recycling bags).

Over the next few weeks there will be many moments when you will think "why am I doing this?" You'll need that list as a reminder.

2. Know what to expect

The first two or three weeks after quitting drinking can be physically and mentally gruelling, but it's much easier if you know what to expect, and know that it's all perfectly normal. After years of flooding your body with addictive toxins, it's bound to fight back a bit when you quit.

You will probably feel more tired than you can imagine. By mid afternoon you'll want a nap - like a toddler. You'll feel muggy headed, like you're wading through soup, and your concentration levels will be completely shot.

Don't worry - it'll pass. See it as a sign that your body's recuperating.

Ironically, you may find that you also have problems initially in getting to sleep. Again, this is temporary. Soon you'll be sleeping like a baby - better than you have in years. And no more waking up at 3am with the night horrors.

You might get headaches and/or constipation. That's all part of your body detoxing. Drink lots of water, fresh juices and smoothies.

You may be a bit (or a lot) tetchy and snappy. Like a bad case of PMT.  Try to avoid taking on anything too crucial or stressful over the next week or two.

You'll constantly think about drinking. Or not drinking. And, generally, the more you try NOT to think about something, the more you do.

I found that the best thing to do is to indulge the obsession - at least initially. I read endless books, articles and blogs about drinking. My favourite drinking memoirs are Caroline Knapp's Drinking: A Love Story and Sarah Hepola's Blackout. For great drinking fiction read Girl on The Train by Paula Hawkins, or Rachel's Holiday by Marian Keyes.

3. Find Some Friends

It's really difficult to quit drinking on your own. You might be lucky and have someone 'in real life' who's doing it with you. The problem with that, however, is if they cave they're likely to take you down with them. And they might not need to quit as much as you do....

Luckily, there's a huge amount of help online - a whole Soberverse!

Why not sign up to www.soberistas.com where you'll find huge amounts of help and support, or the wonderful Facebook community of Club Soda at www.joinclubsoda.com?

There's a fabulous group of sober people on Instagram too. You can find me @clare_pooley, and check out @soberdave, @soberfishie, @janeyleegrace, @sober_and_social, @thegaysober and many more.

There's also AA. I have to confess that I've still not been myself, but they've helped millions of people and saved endless lives. With AA you get all the help and support you'd get online plus real hugs, not just virtual ones.

4. Be good to yourself

You are doing a phenomenal thing. And it's not easy. So, for the next few weeks at least, don't try to do anything else. Don't worry about dieting, about getting a new job or redecorating the house. Just concentrate, for the moment, on NOT DRINKING!

Give yourself some rewards - you deserve them. And you're saving money! Eat cake. Drink lots of hot chocolate (it has magical properties - you'll see). Have hot baths with bubbles and candles. Book a massage. Whatever makes you feel good.

5. Watch out for cravings

You're bound to get them, especially at your main trigger points, like 'wine o'clock' or when you're hungry, tired, stressed or bored. Or pretty much anytime, actually.

Remember - THEY WILL PASS. You just need to distract yourself for as long as it takes.

Bake cookies. Or, the more healthy option, do some exercise. Go for a long walk, or a run. Getting away from the fridge or any drinking environment is a good idea.

Have a hot bath. Check out the SoberMummy Facebook page here for daily information and inspiration ('like page' to stay updated). Log onto Soberistas, Club Soda (see above) or your favourite blog. Take up knitting, colouring, the guitar - whatever works.

6. Wait for the miracles to happen

Just take it one day at a time and you will, slowly slowly, start to see the benefits.

You'll sleep better than you have since childhood. Your eyes will be brighter, skin fresher and hair bouncier. You'll look five years younger.

You'll lose the puffy face and the wine belly. You'll feel calmer and happier.

But the best things about being sober don't happen in the first month. They keep on coming, over the weeks, months and years.

So don't just do Dry January. Consider making it forever.

Just think about it....

Good luck to you all!

Clare x

By the way, my novel - The Authenticity Project - is out soon! You can pre-order here (UK), or here (USA)

Original post updated on 1/1/2020

Sober Drinks

One of the issues with giving up booze is knowing what on earth to drink.

Most non-alcoholic options are either super unhealthy (Coca-Cola, for example), or make you feel like a child or a geriatric (orange juice/elderflower cordial). It feels as if all 'adult' drinks are alcoholic.

Plus, we have programmed our brains over a period of decades, to equate a 'grown up' drink with winding down at the end of the day, de-stressing, celebrating and so on, so a good alcohol free replacement really helps to fool our brains into doing the same thing.

The trick is to find an alcohol free drink that is enough like the real thing to do the job, but not so much like your favourite tipple that it just triggers all your old thought patterns.

My go-to solution is Becks Blue beer, because I was never a beer drinker. I'm not sure I could have got through my first year without my Becks Blue. During the whole cancer thing I was drinking around six per day! (Now I'm down to around four a week).

Over Christmas I found a half decent alcohol free wine in Sainsbury (for only £2.99). At first this seemed like a really good idea, but within days I was feeling utterly dependant on my AF wine. I drank a whole bottle of the stuff on Christmas day and started to panic about my supplies running out.

Needless to say, I've come to the conclusion (again) that AF wine is just too close to the bone for me.

My latest find (and huge thanks to Dr C for the recommendation) is Seedlip (described as 'the world's first non-alcoholic spirits). They are properly distilled drinks with botanical flavours and taste very much like gin. I drink it with Fever Tree tonic or in mocktails.

(Here's a link to their website)

So, I'm gradually solving the 'what on earth to drink at 'wine-o-clock' dilemma, but it's often still really tough when you're not at home.

More and more pubs are serving AF beer (a recent study showed that one in ten women drink AF beer on a weekly basis, and 31% of people have tried it), but little else for the sober lady out and about other than 'children's drinks' and mixers.

Which is why my old drinking buddy (now sober for nine years), Jamie Walker, is a hero.

Jamie, and his childhood friend Tertia Bailey, are about to open an alcohol free pop-up bar in Edinburgh called DRY. It's in Stockbridge, at 15 North West Circus Place, until the end of February.

DRY will be open all day, serving food (provided by local pop-up food stalls), artisan teas and coffees and a whole host of craft AF beers, AF wines (not for me!) and mocktails. (I did check, by the way, and they are selling Seedlip).

Not only that, but to prove that sober venues are way cooler, more vibrant and more interesting than drunk ones, there's a host of entertainment planned, from cooking demos, poker and ping-pong, to quiz nights, guest speakers, teenage parties and burlesque lessons.

Jamie's even doing a 'silent disco' in the basement, where everyone wears headphones, so can limber up to the best DJs without disturbing the neighbours.

So, if you're anywhere near Edinburgh (I'm thinking of you, Edinburgh Housewife), then please support Jamie and Tertia by taking all your friends to DRY. If it's successful enough it'll hopefully keep trading past February and even roll out country-wide.

Vive la Revolution!

SM x

Post Alcohol Fatigue

If you quit drinking on New Year's Day, then HUGE CONGRATULATIONS on making it through your first Friday night and into Day 6. You are awesome!

Have you had much in the way of withdrawal symptoms?

Despite the fact that I was drinking around ten bottles of wine a week, when I finally quit my issues were mainly psychological rather than physical.

My readers and fellow bloggers often report headaches, mild 'flu like symptoms and difficulty getting to sleep, but the one physical symptom that seems to unite us all and I bet you're grappling with too is...

EXHAUSTION.

Not just feeling a little bit weary, must put my feet up tiredness, but a bone deep sluggishness, a feeling that every cell in your body has switched to 'go slow'.

It's a weariness that mere sleep can't solve, and it's accompanied by an all encompassing feeling of ennui, of what's it all about anyway?

The only time I had felt anything approaching this was in the early stages of pregnancy, when getting through the day is like wading through pea soup.

So, if that's how you're feeling then DON'T PANIC! It's entirely normal and it will shift.

People often talk about 'the threes' when it comes to addiction and breaking habits.

It takes around three days for all the alcohol to leave your body, then three weeks for the worst of the physical effects to pass, and three months (we tend to talk about 100 days) before the worst of the psychological effects start to recede.

By day 21, or thereabouts, you should be feeling a great deal perkier.

In the meantime, indulge yourself. Think about it like a bout of 'flu. Go to bed early. If you can, have an afternoon nap. Drink hot chocolate, wear cashmere socks, have lots of hot baths with bubbles.

Exercise helps, especially in the fresh air, as does taking a vitamin B complex supplement (alcohol strips us of B vitamins which causes fatigue) and a magnesium supplement before bedtime if you're having problems sleeping.

Eat as well as you can and drink fresh juices and smoothies to replace all the nutrients that alcohol has leeched out of your cells.

If the constant tiredness is getting you down, then remember it's your body healing. If you ever have wobbles about why you're doing this, then the way you're feeling now is evidence you're doing the right thing.

You feel like you've been run over by a bus because you've been filling your body with toxins for years and it's going to take it a while to recover.

Before long you'll be sleeping like a baby and be bouncing out of bed in the mornings like the Duracell Bunny, ready to take on the day.

(See my post from Day 24: Sleep, Glorious Sleep)

Just one word of warning though: as your body recalibrates and your dopamine levels adjust to life without booze, these periods of exhaustion do recur from time to time. It's called Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, and you can read more about it here.

Keep on at it - you're doing an amazing thing, and let us know how you are in the comments below.

Love to you all,

SM x

Dry January

Happy New Year everyone!

It's 8.30am in the Scottish Borders. The children are fast asleep, after staying up hours later than usual, and the grown ups are sleeping off the booze.

I'm feeling fabulous.

I threw a wonderful party last night, but this morning both the sky and my head are clear and even the kitchen is clean as a whistle as I washed everything up before going to bed.

How different from the decades of New-Year's-Days-of-Despair during the era of over-enthusiastic imbibing.

So, if you've found this page because your New Year's Resolution is to quit drinking - for a while or forever - then you're in the right place! If I can do it, anyone can.

I finally stopped drinking when, after years of trying to cut down, I realised that I had no other option. But I did it with a fairly heavy heart.

I realised that life would never be the same and that there were many events - such as New Year's Eve - which would always be (like myself) pale shadows of their former selves.

Well, as someone who's made it out the other side, I can tell you that it's true. Life will never be the same. It'll be WAY BETTER. More real, more technicolour, more manageable and more rewarding.

The first few weeks, and - let's face it - months, are hard but there is huge amounts of help in the sobersphere. You are NOT ALONE.

If you're after advice on how to get through Dry January then click here: Dry January

If you're still not convinced that quitting is a good idea, then click here: Reasons to Quit Drinking

If you're here because you think you may be an alcoholic, but you're not entirely sure, then click here: Are You an Alcoholic?

If you'd like a summary of my first year without booze then click here: 2015 - the Year I Quit Drinking

If you'd like to read my story from the beginning then click here: Mummy was a Secret Drinker

I, along with all the regular readers of this blog from around the world, am here to help you and am cheering you on. You are awesome.

2017 - a new year for a new life.

Love SM x

Are You Struggling? Part 2

I wrote yesterday about how the end of January can be hard. And, I know from your comments and e-mails, that at least a few of you have slipped off the waggon.

If you have, then here's something for you:

I found another Anne Lamott quote, from her book Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. Again, she's not talking about drinking, but it's so, so relevant:

Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train. You don't drop-kick a puppy into the neighbour's yard (she means GARDEN, English people) every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper.

So, if you gave in to the evil wine witch, then don't beat up your inner puppy, just bring it back to the newspaper and keep on going.

There are, however, three thought processes to watch out for (I know this, because I've been through them all. Several times). They go like this:

(1) I only had one glass of wine, and - you know what - I didn't even like it that much! And I STOPPED! AFTER ONE! Halleluiah - I'm CURED!

You are not cured. You may be able to moderate for a while, weeks, maybe even months, BUT eventually you'll be back where you started. In fact, most people find that they end up WORSE than where they started, almost like our addict head is making up for lost time.

But you don't need me to tell you that, because you've tried moderation before, right? Lots of times. You know it doesn't work. Get back on the sober waggon - it's easier and you'll be happier. (See my post: Reasons to Quit Drinking: Because it's easier).

Here's the other one to look out for:

(2) I've blown it now. I may as well let rip. Really get it all out of my system. Then I can quit again. After all, I know I can do it now....

No, no, no. We've all been there. The 'letting rip' bit often ends up going on for months, and it's not easier next time. Actually it's harder, because the whole quitting thing isn't so new and shiny and exciting any more, and there's a little nagging voice in your head saying you flunked last time, and you'll flunk again.

Here's the third one:

(3) I'm weak. I'm bloody useless. I KNEW I couldn't do this, and it's true. My life is doomed, and the only way I can cope with all this terrible failure is to drink....

NO! You CAN do it! But you're human. It's difficult. Don't drop kick the puppy. Forgive it. Pat it on the head and try again. You know it'll learn eventually.

A while ago I wrote a post called 'Potholes in the Road' (click here). You haven't failed. It's just a pothole in the road. Next time you'll know it's there and you'll walk round it. Eventually, you'll find another street....

Keep on keeping on, people. We're all in it together.

Love SM x

Are You Struggling?

I read somewhere that the third weekend in January is the one where most New Year's Resolutions fail.

It's easy to see why.

To start with you're all fired up with energy and enthusiasm. And however hard it is, it's all a bit of a novelty at least.

Then, three weeks later, it's still hard, and the novelty's worn off. All you can see stretching ahead of you is a lifetime of denial, and you're thinking is this it? Surely making it to (nearly) the end of January is enough. I can't be expected to do this forever!

Well, I found a fabulous story from a lady called Anne Lamott which may help you. She's the author of a book called 'Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life.'

Anne tells a tale about her older brother, aged ten at the time (about the same age as #2).

Anne's brother had been asked to do a project on birds. He was given three months to work on it, so it was obviously expected to be a pretty comprehensive study.  However, just like #2 would do in the same situation, he had left it until the last minute.

It was the night before the project was due in, and the little boy was sitting at the kitchen table surrounded by empty sheets of paper, sharpened pencils and unopened reference books about birds.

He was totally paralysed by the enormity of the task ahead of him. It seemed insurmountable.

Then, Anne's father sat down next to his son, put an arm round his shoulder, and said "Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird."

Anne wrote that story to help people get over writer's block, but realised that it applies to many situations in life. I think it's particularly relevant to us.

So, if that's how you're feeling, and the enormity of the task ahead has suddenly hit, and you're feeling overwhelmed, then don't think about the whole damn project. Just deal with one bird at a time....

....then after about 100 days worth of individual birds - from tiny hummingbirds, to huge, aggressive eagles, you find that the project is looking amazing. It's nearly finished!

You can't believe how much you achieved. You never thought it was possible. In fact, you're feeling so good about it that you decide to keep going, to see what else you can achieve.

And about six months after you started, not only is the whole bird project not at all daunting, but you realise that it's actually become your passion, your raison d'etre, an innate part of you. This is what you want for the rest of your life.

You put the books down, run into the street and shout "I'm going to be an ornithologist!" Or maybe a pilot? Or an aviation engineer. Whatever, the point is you're no longer afraid, and your whole life has changed.

That's why you mustn't give up. Just take it bird by bird.

Love SM

P.S. If you did fall off the waggon this weekend, then look out for my post tomorrow, for more wise words from Anne Lamott.

Dry January

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Welcome to a brand new 2018. A clean sheet of paper. A fresh start. A chance to be a New You.

Is your New Year's resolution to do Dry January?

If so, you're not alone. An estimated 5 million people in the UK are taking part in the Dry January challenge in 2018.

Whether you want to quit just for for the next month, or whether you've realised you've got to give it up forever, here is some advice on how to get through the first 31 days.

(I'm hoping that my regular readers will chip in in the comments section below with their additions).

It's really hard to condense this into just one post, but there's more information on all of this - and very much more - throughout this blog and on the SoberMummy Facebook page.

1. Preparation

Getting your head in the right place is crucial. If you start the month with a sense of dread and deprivation you'll never make it.

You are doing an amazing thing. You are about to change your life for the better. Be excited!

If that last sentence is just incredibly irritating, and you can't imagine feeling anything like excitement right now, then read Jason Vale's book: Kick the Drink, Easily.

In fact, read it anyway. It'll completely change the way you think about drinking, and make the whole process of quitting much easier.

You could also read The Sober Diaries (click here) about my first twelve months off the booze, which will give you a really good idea of all the downs, and the ups, that you can expect, with a few good laughs (and some tears) along the way.

Write down, right now, while you can remember, all the reasons why you want to stop. The big ones (like health concerns) and all the little ones (like being embarrassed about all the empty bottles in your recycling bags).

Over the next few weeks there will be many moments when you will think "why am I doing this?" You'll need that list as a reminder.

2. Know what to expect

The first two or three weeks after quitting drinking can be physically and mentally gruelling, but it's much easier if you know what to expect, and know that it's all perfectly normal. After years of flooding your body with addictive toxins, it's bound to fight back a bit when you quit.

You will probably feel more tired than you can imagine. By mid afternoon you'll want a nap - like a toddler. You'll feel muggy headed, like you're wading through soup, and your concentration levels will be completely shot.

Don't worry - it'll pass. See it as a sign that your body's recuperating.

Ironically, you may find that you also have problems initially in getting to sleep. Again, this is temporary. Soon you'll be sleeping like a baby - better than you have in years. And no more waking up at 3am with the night horrors.

You might get headaches and/or constipation. That's all part of your body detoxing. Drink lots of water, fresh juices and smoothies.

You may be a bit (or a lot) tetchy and snappy. Like a bad case of PMT.  Try to avoid taking on anything too crucial or stressful over the next week or two.

You'll constantly think about drinking. Or not drinking. And, generally, the more you try NOT to think about something, the more you do.

I found that the best thing to do is to indulge the obsession - at least initially. I read endless books, articles and blogs about drinking. My favourite drinking memoir is Caroline Knapp's Drinking: A Love Story. For great drinking fiction read Girl on The Train by Paula Hawkins, or Summer Secrets by Jane Green.

3. Find Some Friends

It's really difficult to quit drinking on your own. You might be lucky and have someone 'in real life' who's doing it with you. The problem with that, however, is if they cave they're likely to take you down with them. And they might not need to quit as much as you do....

Luckily, there's a huge amount of help online - a whole Soberverse!

Why not sign up to www.soberistas.com where you'll find huge amounts of help and support, or the wonderful Facebook community of Club Soda at www.joinclubsoda.com?

There's also AA. I have to confess that I've still not been myself, but they've helped millions of people and saved endless lives. With AA you get all the help and support you'd get online plus real hugs, not just virtual ones.

4. Be good to yourself

You are doing a phenomenal thing. And it's not easy. So, for the next few weeks at least, don't try to do anything else. Don't worry about dieting, about getting a new job or redecorating the house. Just concentrate, for the moment, on NOT DRINKING!

Give yourself some rewards - you deserve them. And you're saving money! Eat cake. Drink lots of hot chocolate (it has magical properties - you'll see). Have hot baths with bubbles and candles. Book a massage. Whatever makes you feel good.

5. Watch out for cravings

You're bound to get them, especially at your main trigger points, like 'wine o'clock' or when you're hungry, tired, stressed or bored. Or pretty much anytime, actually.

Remember - THEY WILL PASS. You just need to distract yourself for as long as it takes.

Bake cookies. Or, the more healthy option, do some exercise. Go for a long walk, or a run. Getting away from the fridge or any drinking environment is a good idea.

Have a hot bath. Check out the SoberMummy Facebook page here for daily information and inspiration ('like page' to stay updated). Log onto Soberistas, Club Soda (see above) or your favourite blog. Take up knitting, colouring, the guitar - whatever works.

6. Wait for the miracles to happen

Just take it one day at a time and you will, slowly slowly, start to see the benefits.

You'll sleep better than you have since childhood. Your eyes will be brighter, skin fresher and hair bouncier. You'll look five years younger.

You'll lose the puffy face and the wine belly. You'll feel calmer and happier.

But the best things about being sober don't happen in the first month. They keep on coming, over the weeks, months and years.

So don't just do Dry January. Consider making it forever.

Just think about it....

Good luck to you all!

SM x

A New Year

I've woken up early on New Year's Day - probably as a result of all the adrenaline from last night.

Early on New Year's Eve, here in the picture perfect Swiss Alpine town of Verbier, it started snowing. Fat flakes of snow, the first in weeks, illuminated against the night sky.

The fireworks started at around 6pm, and continued all night. Constant busts of colour, the noise ricocheting off the mountains, the air filled with the smell of cordite.

At midnight we joined thousands of revellers dancing to a crazy DJ in the town square. There were people of all ages and hundreds of nationalities, speaking a variety of languages.

Russian oligarchs rubbing shoulders with ski bums financing their ski season by washing up in the town's restaurants, united by their love of the snow and their desire to welcome the New Year in with a bang.

I didn't need to drink to feel high. In fact, the boozed up revellers, falling over onto broken glass and recklessly lighting fireworks into the crowd, were a great reminder that it's a good idea to be in control.

At midnight, hundreds of people sprayed champagne over the heads of the dancers (I never would have wasted good booze like that in my day), so I still went home reeking of alcohol.

And the best bit?

Waking up today knowing that, for the first time ever, I can really enjoy the first day of a brand new year. All sparkling new and filled with possibility. Starting as I mean to go on, not filled to the brim with toxins and regret.

The slopes will be covered in fresh snow, and they will be empty. Just me and my family, swishing our way into the future.

If you're waking up today with a hangover, desperate to make a change, then don't worry. I'm with you, as are all my friends on here, and in the Soberverse.

Throughout January I'll be posting Reasons to Stay Sober as well as Sober Tips, which I'm sure my regular readers will help with too, so stay with me.

Happy New Year to you all!

SM x