Thursday, 2 March 2017

It's my Soberversary!

Yesterday, it was exactly two years since I last had a drink. I can't quite believe it. In fact, I completely forgot about it until lovely J, a reader who's only three weeks behind me, sent me a congratulatory e-mail.

How extraordinary that not long ago I could tell you exactly how many hours it had been since my last drink, and now I even forget the years.

I looked back at the post I wrote on my one year Soberversary (click here).

Year One was all about re-discovering the person I used to be.

I learned what it's like to sleep like a baby again. I rediscovered a sense of wonder, of self respect and self confidence. I, eventually, lost the wine belly, and was reacquainted with all the skinny clothes in my wardrobe.

I re-learned how to deal with fear and anxiety and how to form, and nurture, proper relationships, not just ones built on idle gossip at drinks parties.

Year Two has been very different. It hasn't been hard, in fact it's flown by in the way time only does when you're having a great deal of fun.

I started Year Two feeling like I'd got myself back, but I had this nagging sense of time wasted and opportunities lost. I wanted my life back.

So this was the year when I decided to chase my dreams. The same dreams I'd had at age nineteen, when, more than anything else, I wanted to write. I wanted to be an author.

But I put that dream on hold for decades because I was busy doing other stuff (drinking) and because I was scared of failure. And if you don't try, you can't fail, right?

Only now I realise that the only way you fail is by not trying. After beating the booze, and then cancer, I've lost my sense of fear and I feel pretty invincible.

So I wrote the book proposal and, miraculously, I got the publishing contract. And now I'm being paid to write, which has been my dream for thirty years.

Truthfully, I still miss the booze from time to time. Every once in a while I'd love to be able to blur the edges. I'd love a glass of champagne on a birthday or at Christmas. I still worry, sometimes, that people will think me boring, that maybe I am boring.

But then I remind myself that that one glass is a fantasy. I've never been happy with just one, of anything. And one glass now would just re-awaken that nagging voice that would constantly be asking "am I going to drink tonight? Or maybe tomorrow night? Just one glass? Or maybe two?"

And the very best thing about the last year has been the peace, the simplicity, of never having to ask myself "am I drinking tonight?" or "shall I have another one?" because I don't drink, not one, not two, not anything, and that makes life so much less complicated.

So, if you're still struggling with the early days and thinking why am I doing this? You're doing it to get yourself back. Then, once you've done that, you'll get your life back. And that's awesome.

Love SM x

P.S. Huge congrats to LushNoMore, who's held my hand since the beginning, on her two year Soberversary last week, and to Ang75 on ONE HUNDRED DAYS. Great work, girlfriends.


  1. Yay! Sober Mummy. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with the world. You have made not drinking a cool, fun and happy thing. You have always been encouraging and upbeat about life on the other side of drinking too much. You have no idea how much I have felt your virtual hand-holding and support from across the miles. Congratulations on everything you have achieved in the past 2 years. Saying "thank-you" seems so inadequate but I do for giving me hope when I was down, a laugh when I was discouraged and being your generous, entertaining self throughout it all. Brava!

    1. Thank YOU, lovely Laura. You were one of my very first readers and I appreciate all your support hugely. I still remember your comment 'chapeau to you' in the early days.... Hugs 🤗

  2. Happy 2nd Soberversary SM ...and everything Laura Brown said! xx

  3. This is just a great post to read SM.
    I love the way you talk about the first year, full of change and then the second - actually living it.
    Then the sometimes-I-miss-drinking-but-it's-just-not-for-me acceptance of the whole thing.

    It's really great to read about your journey through it in a summary of sorts :)
    Thank you x
    Michelle x

  4. Happy anniversary SM, thats fantastic. You are chasing your dreams and getting your life the way you want it, and no amount of champagne at a birthday or celebration is worth risking that! Congratulations. X

  5. Happy anniversary!! 2 years is amazing!

    And thankyou for the shout out, feeling very proud of my triple figure!!!!! I already know that one day I will be 2 years the same as you are now, having a drink just isnt an option for me anymore!! Xxxx

  6. Happy Soberversary! You have no idea how much you helped me get to my 2 year Soberversary. Thank you, Thank you!

  7. Happy 2 years! I found you on my day one - and on the 7th of March I reach my 1/2 year milestone and I love it. You are a great role model, thank you. Lois from Canada

  8. Beautiful post SM!!! It exudes such joy! I couldn't have gotten sober without you! Thank you for putting it all out there an Happy 2 year soberversary! xo

  9. You make me want this. Thank you.

  10. Happy 2 years, we are the toddlers of our new life learning the run again ! My 1 year is coming up on the 13th March. My husband gave up with me in supprt. We will be having a celebratory meal. We've spent the money we have saved from not drinking on holiday in Tenerife !

  11. Yours was the first blog I found when I stopped in may 2015. Thank god I found it because it made me realise that life is ok without the booze and actually it's much better and, as you said, much simpler. No internal debates or self loathing!

  12. Congrats to you. Can't wait for the book. X

  13. So many congrats dear SM. You are my heroine because you got me where I am - 1 year and a bit sober( gosh - no idea what my exact count is either - who knew one could be this blasé about ones sober day count!). You deserve so much happiness - you have helped so many live richer sober happier lives. Cannot wait for the book. Lots of love xxx

  14. Hurray for you! Reading your story has been inspiring, joyful and enligthing. I am still lost, trying to give up the alcohol, but I've made great steps in curbing my abuse because of your writings. I tell myself I will get to where you are, all I have to do is believe in myself and to know it better on the other side of the obstacle course. xoxo L

  15. Happy happy 2 years! That is so awesome! Hope you did something lovely to celebrate:) xxx

  16. Huge congratulations. What you have done for yourself and family is fantastic. How your blog has helped me and so many others is inspirational. x

  17. Happy Anniversary!! 2 years is awesome!