Wednesday 9 March 2016

Outed

When I started this blog, I was very cautious about not being 'discovered.' I changed some key details to help preserve my anonymity.

But, as time has gone on, I've slightly thrown caution to the wind and given away more and more specifics about my life.

Well, today I received an e-mail from my fabulous friend G. (I hope she doesn't mind me sharing it). It goes like this:

I wonder if you remember that at your wonderful party I mentioned that I am no longer drinking, and it turned out that you have given up?

Now, it so happens that I found a blog or two about women drinking - because I think the world, and women in particular, have gone a bit overboard on booze and it's just all crazy - and there's one blog I love.

And, you know what? I think it's you!

Are you SoberMummy?

Suddenly, my two worlds have collided.

On the one hand I'm horrified. Sharing all this stuff with 'strangers' is one thing, but people you actually know knowing all about you is, paradoxically, terrifying.

Plus, I'm worried that I'll become a pariah at the school gates or, even worse, the children will get teased.

But, on the other had, it's strangely liberating being outed. I have been feeling slightly schizophrenic - like I'm two completely different people simultaneously. And I know that G won't go round telling everyone.

Anyhow, if my latest plan comes to fruition, I may be unable to stay under the radar for much longer.

More on that tomorrow....

Love SM x

P.S. Today I bought a new bikini. I had thought that was something I'd never do again....

24 comments:

  1. It was bound to happen! If your plans are what I think it is, I know you'll be a huge success! A bikini! How great is that!! Remember the sun screen. LOL!

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    1. The only problem is that one of my boobs is browner than the other because of the radiotherapy ;-)

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    2. Just put a lot of sunscreen on the one and let the other get a good tan! It will all work out.

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  2. You were opted! That's so cool :-D BOOM!!!

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  3. Don't be scared. Being AF is something to be proud of. And it's not as if you were an alcoholic :-) ! Looking forward to reading tomorrow x

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  4. I would reply yes. I know you will handle this with discretion. It's my story to tell. I'm all it glorious detail. When I want to.

    I expect she is super proud of you and I hope she is still sober too!

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  5. Don't be scared! You have an awesome story to tell! xxx

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  6. I agree with Anne.
    If I was still teaching it would have been harder, and I would not be so comfortable.
    All my friends and family know about my blog, but I am retired now.
    It needs to happen when you want it to!
    xo
    Wendy

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  8. I would be terrified if this was me! But you are a strong, amazing woman. Be proud of yourself and your story. And I'm sure she will be discreet. A x

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  9. And, you should have nothing but PRIDE in what you have accomplished! You took control, righted your life...and have not only done so with talent and humor, but...you have a covey of inspired ducklings thanking you for helping them make, or maintain, change. Starting with this one. Quack, quack!!

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  10. You have an amazing journey ahead including your fabulous trip, don't waiste one more moment about what others think of you. Peoples' opinions of you are none of your business.

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  11. Hey SM - day 67 for me - and all going well. Riveted to see your post tomorrow. I totally understand your anticipation at being outed (feel very much the same - even though I don't blog and I barely comment!). But for you and I think what we're all suspecting we'll read tomorrow you absolutely go girl you fantabulous creature! You have an amazing gift and we are all so fortunate that you have shared it with us. And by the way sooooo very excited about Jamaica and bikinis. You will have an amazing time. Please feed back your tips for a successful AF beach holiday as I have one coming up - and never managed it before!! Lost of love SFM xxx

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  12. I just love your blog and can't wait to hear what you are doing next. She sounds like she is a supportive friend you can now confide with. I have heard people say that once they were fully outed other friends had considered their habits and once they got over any defensive issues joined them alcohol free.

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  13. This is the 'Sober Revolution' in action!! Spread the word SM and it will be a better place. xx

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  14. Hi SM. I'm sure G is similarly sensitive about alcohol and will respect your privacy. I have a few friends who know who I am, behind the Single Plus Baggage name - they've shared and recommended my blog to others but never said who the real me is. I'm sure, like my friends, she'll just be proud to know you - someone who is brave enough to share and talented enough to do it in an amusing, inclusive, touching fashion. Keep blogging!!! Love SPB. xxx

    PS I bought a Nutribullet yesterday which hopefully means I too will consider the possibility of a bikini again but the summer!

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  15. It's a strange feeling isn't it - I remember the first time a friend found my blog (and then spent 6 hours reading it all...). Be proud of what you've done here and don't let the worlds colliding stop you continuing to write

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  16. Happy being a duckling, quack quack! :)

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  17. Happy being a duckling, quack quack! :)

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  18. You must publish- there is a need for your upbeat but insightful thought. So many people are realising that there is just too much drinking going on and it's not making people happy. For so many people alcohol does not do what they think it does or what they want it to do -it's not fun anymore

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  19. To Mrs. SM: Brava, and I can't wait to read your book! I also want to say THANK YOU for your warm, witty, humane posts; as others here have posted, you've helped save my life. I'm a writer in New York City (4 books), and I offer this idea as an organizing principle for your proposal: Check out Joan Wickersham's Suicide Index. She spent ten years trying to figure out how to present the story of her dad's (seemingly out-of-nowhere) death; she tried a novel, a memoir…and ended up writing entries in an "index" format that allowed writers to dip in and out. YOU decide what to do, but that might be a comfortable segue for you from "blog" mosaic pieces--? I offer this only as a helpful suggestion but I'm sure whatever you do will be fantastic.

    I am 60, joyfully married to a wonderful man…and I found you because you're not only a terrific writer, you've spoken to me. Now suddenly I'm 12-15 pounds heavier, wine belly, guzzling at social events to cover shyness…those nightly extra glasses, sometimes a full bottle's worth. Hiding the extras I use "for cooking"…hiding embarrassment that I can't remember the plot of the movie we watched, tired of the inane arguments based on my fueling some rage that doesn't, shouldn't even exist.

    I am on Day #32 of putting the Wine Witch in her place, which is far away. (Thanks for that usual image! My mantra: MORNING.) I'm feeling clear, great, clean, grateful. And part of that gratitude is to you, Mrs. SM, and to the respondents here. I've been checking in and have felt it's time to use words to express my thanks and to say hurrah about a book. As with Caroline Knapp, it's the writing talent that speaks.

    Enjoy your holiday! Happy (belated) Birthday from a friend in New York City, Happy Sober Birthday, and Happy Publishing Contract.

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    1. Hi Cat in New York! I am also in New York and I am on day 34 today!

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  20. correction: "usual" in penultimate paragraph should read "useful"!

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