Tuesday, 10 November 2015

Sex, Drugs and Rock'n'Roll

You don't know what it means to win
Come down and see me again
Been down one time
Been down two times
I'm never going back again.
Fleetwood Mac

If you've been down more times than you can count, and you still don't know what it means to win, then you should read this e-mail that was sent to me by a lovely lady from down under (who I'm going to call Stevie).

Stevie kindly agreed that I could share it with you. Here it is:

Good morning SM,

I wanted to share an experience with someone who might understand, and who will not think that I am a complete fruit loop (at least not straight away.)

I went out on Friday evening to see Fleetwood Mac with Dear Husband.

I know that they were at their greatest before your time, dear SM, but suffice to say that they were there in my formative adolescence and teenage years.

In my mind I was Stevie, despite only having the odd scarf on my wrist, and no flowing golden locks.

Stevie and the band rose on the wave of their success. She and Lindsay Buckingham had met at school, and were in a relationship in the band, as were Christine McVie and John McVie.

The whole thing combusted under a tirade of success, money, drugs and hedonism.

The personal relationships all fell apart with heartbreak on show. The band split up, reformed, did solo projects and generally the world moved on. As did I.

They have been on this tour for a couple of years. It was interrupted by John McVie’s ‘cancer scare’ (know all about that huh?), and Christine McVie unexpectedly leaving her stately home, ringing Stevie, and saying "sorry I haven’t been in touch for a couple of decades but can I join the band?"

I went to see them somewhat apprehensively. Had the coke fried her voice? Could they still play? Was it going to be like the Stones, where the antipathy amongst members is only just below the surface?

It blew my mind. I would also like to confess that you are responsible for that happening.

This was the first band I have seen sober (still looking for a better word than that) since I was a teenager. It was all clear and crisp and wonderful. The band were tight, fit and presented their emotions for all to see.

However, what I wasn’t expecting was that Stevie and Lindsay spoke to me. Literally.

Their lyrics all seemed to be describing what it is like to be addicted, unhappy and anxious, but more importantly there was hope and love to be gained if you could get through it.

They spoke about this between songs. They communicated to me directly, and showed me that, like they have, I can have a future too.

I thought of the life experiences we have shared:

1.Addiction. Me: alcohol, Stevie: drugs.

2. Failed important early relationship due to: Me: first marriage collapsed under the weight of alcohol (for both parties) and drugs (for him), and failure to deal with the important things. Stevie and Lindsay: the same, and it still causes pain.

3 Wasted decade in your thirties due to addiction. Me: alcohol, Stevie: drugs including prescription.

4. Rock goddess with vast wealth and every man on the planet adoring her….maybe we didn’t share that.

Anyway, I have now confessed that important people are sending me secret messages so I had better make myself a foil hat.

Just remember, SM:

Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow
Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here
It’ll be better that before
Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone

Stevie's e-mail made my cry (in a good way). I, too, am a huge Fleetwood Mac fan. I have been known, when on my own in the car, to put them on top volume and belt out the lyrics to myself.

And hearing secret messages doesn't make you a fruit loop. Secret messages are always there - we were just too drunk to hear them.

So remember, friends, to never go back again!

Thank you, Stevie. You rock ('n'roll). And, by the way, I wasn't responsible in the slightest. It was all you.

SM x


  1. Inspiring. True. Connection.
    Life is a beautiful thing. Thank you for sharing your journey.

  2. Ha never seen it this way before! Can't handle her voice but the lyrics sing true in my life! Thanks for sharing this SM and writer of the letter. Awesome!
    Naples Strong, Naples Sober!
    Almost 8 months YAH

  3. Knowing other people are having or have had similar issues to me has been the one big thing that has helped me. I'd never tried stopping before. I'd never considered stopping only moderating. Going af makes much more sense and that connection (thanks anne) with others going through the same thing is what is making it possible for me. Finding soberistas and reading the blogs I read were the secret messages I felt were talking directly to me. Lovely letter and lovely blog. Hope you're taking care xxx

  4. I was having a bad few moments beating myself up mentally this morning and all of a sudden this blog popped up on my email, a message at exactly the right time. Thank you.

  5. Yes - SM - I'm afraid you are also responsible for my being able to rock this 'sober thing'. It's really happening this time and I feel fantastic and I believe that everyone in my life is benefiting from it too. So you are also responsible for benefiting all their lives!! Totally agree with you - Edinburgh housewife as well - just knowing that other people have/are going through the same thing - makes this so much easier - actually do-able (I think I just made that word up). So thanks again SM for this wonderful blog - I'll never stop saying that. Love SFM x

    1. Thanks SFM, and well done you!!! You rock too! Big hugs xxx

  6. Great post SM and 'Stevie', I saw Fleetwood Mac on weekend too (first sober concert as well). Inspirational stuff; all members about 70 and seem to be loving what they were doing on a freezing cold Melbourne night. They
    made me want to keep pursuing this sober thing (day 28...), just like your blog does!

    1. Hi Meg! And huge congrats on 28 days of recolouring! Xx

  7. Thank you very much for writing such an interesting article on this topic. This has really made me think and I hope to read more.
    luxury rehab facilities

  8. Hello! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this page to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!
    Kamsutram oil