Friday 6 March 2015

First big night out sober!

So, day 6. I'm still feeling positive, but am exhausted! The initial rush of euphoria and energy (see ex-lush goes spinning) has been replaced with a bone deep tiredness. I'm sleeping like a small child - no more waking up endlessly to drink water and go to the loo, tossing and turning while wrestling with demons - but I still wake up feeling like I've been hit by a bus. I guess it's my body healing, which has to be a good thing.

So, tonight is the first night I have to cope with going out, rather than just watching TV on the sofa with a hot chocolate. It's a long planned family celebration at an extremely well known restaurant and nobody - except the long suffering and wonderful husband - is going to understand why I am not drinking. Given that I was the sort of drunk who drank large amounts over long periods of time, rather than binge drinking, they have never seen me fall over, black out, slur, do anything embarrassing. They (and I until recently) thought I was totally in control. I always had an 'off button'. That's why I never classed myself as 'an alcoholic'. It's just that my off button would click in after I had managed to drink two bottles of wine over the course of a day.

So, tonight, I imagine, will be lots of entreaties to "have just the one". From the evil wine witch as well as from my lovely family. What the family don't know (but the wine witch does) is that if I have just the one tonight I'll have just the two bottles tomorrow.

Wish me luck!


  1. I am on day 6 today and am so happy to read your blog! I will be having a family night out in 7 days and was a bit concerned how I would cope as my whole family drinks heavily but your blog has given me strength that it will be OK! I too would finish at least 1-2 bottles of Chardonnay every single day and I couldn't even remember the last day I was sober up until 6 days ago. I somehow still took great care of my kids and house and hubby but knew I was failing them on some level because I wasn't functioning as my best person! I wake up every day so glad that I made it another day without drinking and I look forward to many more! Thank you for your humorous stories and making it all seem possible!

    1. Hi Nicktoad, and thanks for reading and posting! Well done! You have done the hardest bit already. From here on in it only gets better! Please stay in touch. Love SM x

  2. As you mentioned your husband in this post I want to ask if he ever mentioned how much you were drinking? Also when you decided to stop were you worried about telling him? Were you worried he would feel differently about you? Every time I have tried to stop the nightly wine either my husband or one of my children have said I am being bitchy!