Thursday 20 December 2018

Falling off the Wagon



I'm in Scotland for Christmas.

I drove up here yesterday, with three children, the dog, and a car packed to the gills with presents. It took nearly ten hours. Mr SM is still working, so is following by train tomorrow.

Today, the kids and I ordered a turkey from the local butcher and bought a Christmas tree, which we lovingly decorated while dancing to cheesy Christmas tunes.

I was feeling smug.

So smug that I posted this picture, on Facebook and Instagram, of my favourite Christmas ornament hanging from the tree.

I should have known what would happen as soon as I started feeling like I was really good at this whole Christmas thing. Pride does, after all, come before a fall. And it was a really big fall.

Just an hour after we finished, all nine foot of tree came crashing down onto the kitchen floor, decapitating the Christmas Tree Fairy and smashing some of my favourite glass ornaments as it went and crushing all the lovingly wrapped presents beneath.

Bollocks.

In the old days, this would absolutely have been a trigger to open a bottle and proceed to get plastered. In fact, this very house, in the middle of nowhere in Scotland, was the scene of my last relapse.

Christmas is a magical time, but one that is loaded with such high expectations that it's inevitable that stuff will go wrong. It's never going to be as perfect as the Christmas of our imaginations, which is why it's a really common time to fall off the wagon.

Plus, there's that nagging voice saying go on. It's Christmas. You can quit again as soon as it's done.

So, for any of you who are struggling, I thought I should provide a link to an old post of mine on falling off the wagon, how it happens, and what to do if it does. It tells my relapse story, and if you check out the comments below it, you'll see similar stories from many of my readers. You can find it here.

The truth is, it's just not worth it. One drink never is one drink. Before you know it, you're back at square one and starting a new year with a whole belly full of regrets.

So don't give up on giving up now! Read my last post on how to make a sober Christmas fabulous (click here). It's going to be amazing, just you wait. And once you've done Christmas sober once, it's never as hard again.

In other news, The Sober Diaries (the warts and all story of my first year sober) is out in just six days in paperback! You can read the first few chapters for free using the Amazon 'look inside' feature. You can find it here.

There's also information and inspiration daily on the SoberMummy Facebook page.

Merry, merry Christmas to you all!

SM x


19 comments:

  1. Ha ha well that's funny because when I clicked on the relapse story the second person recounting their relapse was me! Very spooky as I've just loaded up the cupboards with booze for everyone else's Christmas. Mine is still a sober affair and I have lots of cheeky AF drinks. 3rd sober Christmas and not bothered at all - I know that I will have a fab time. Anyone struggling with their first sober Christmas - You can do this and I guarantee you will have a lovely time and feel so good about yourself. Be prepared and get your favorite non alcoholic drinks in. Don't give up! Merry Sober Christmas Clare, couldn't have done it without you x

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    1. third one for me too!! Happy Christmas xxx

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    2. Merry Christmas to you too, Sharon! I hope it was fabulous!

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  2. I'm really looking forward to this Christmas. My first sober one and my year AF on 31 December. Had a huge pink cloud moment last night. Felt relaxed, no pressure to panic buy 18 bags of carrots 'just in case'. No hangover and no anxiety. Got loads of AF drinks in and am looking forward to some time off from the office. Clare I'm so sorry to read your tree came crashing down! If it's any consolation I spent hours doing ours and the cat was up it within 5 mins. Baubles, branches and lights all over the place. Have a wonderful Christmas in Scotland and merry Christmas to everyone. Jacqueline xxx

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    1. Havr a fab Christmas and congratulations on your up and coming soberversary!! xx

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    2. Thanks Angie!! Merry Christmas to you and congrats on 3 years!! Xx

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    3. How did it go Jacqueline? I hope it was brilliant! Merry Christmas to you!

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  4. there is so much pressure at Christmas for everything to be perfect, its no wonder people drink to survive it - that's what I used to do! looking back I am amazed that I used to try and cook chritmas dinner for 11 people whilst knocking back at least 2-3 bottles of wine, its no wonder I was stressed!! this will be my third sober Christmas and honestly they are the best! you really get to enjoy and remember it all - and accept that it is all perfectly imperfect! Have a fab Christmas everyone xxxxxxx

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    1. I can't believe you're on number 3 already Angie! How time flies! Merry Christmas you soberstar!

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  5. Glad you’re back, Claire, and congratulations on getting your novel to the publishers.
    Thanks to you I’m now on 106 days!
    It was lovely meeting you at the WWW workshop in October.
    Sorry to here about the Christmas tree but expect you’ve repaired the damage by now.
    Hope the unicorn survived!
    Lucy D

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    1. How lovely to hear from you Lucy, and HUGE CONGRATS on 106 days! That's amazing! Unicorn survived with a little help from some sellotape...

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  6. Oh Dear!! ... I had to smile at the image you created of the toppling tree ... And yes I well remember triggers to open that first bottle ... That would have been a big one !!!
    We have just enjoyed a fake Christmas as the family drive to the other Grands today ... What a lovely time .. Memorable!! Stress free (well more relaxed than in the past) and here's one folks .... When you are sober 'drinks time' can start as early as you like ... All that clock watching gone :-) Happy Christmas ... To you all .... Jacqui

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    1. Good point, Jacs! I was on the (alcohol-free) Prosecco at 10am this year! Merry Christmas to you!!!

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  7. I have a silly question! What date do you use as your soberversary? The date you had your last drink or the day after?

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  8. I use the day after my last drink, ie the date from when I actually quit on. Say I had my last drink on 25 Dec then my anniversary would be on 26th. Hope that makes sense and good luck!! xx

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  9. Ok thanks! I had my last drink on Sunday and I am going to aim for a year this time. I started last year on December 28th and made it through early June. Unfortunately, I caved last summer to 80 degree days and beer around the lake and it went downhill from there. One day at a time!

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  10. Thanks to you, Clare, I have 56 days AF under my belt. Without your book, I truly don’t think I could have celebrated so many milestones. First sober birthday, Thanksgiving, AND Christmas. I won’t lie, December has been a little tough, but I now know how much better it feels to be a happy, sober non-drinker. Bless you.

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