We are now back at home, after two weeks of complete over-indulgence in Scotland.
This has been a bit of a shock to the system as I've been (relatively speaking) a paragon of virtue for the last twelve months.
In fact, since I quit the booze I've managed to lose a massive two stone (28 pounds) without much effort. Just before Christmas, I was back to my wedding weight and a size 10 (US size 6).
(For more on post booze weight loss click here: Reasons to Quit Drinking #1 - Weight Loss)
However, during the festive period I dived with abandon into a veritable mountain of food, in the same way as I would have attacked the vino in the old days.
Bacon sarnie for breakfast? Great idea - it'll keep the cold out. Crisps before dinner? Rude not to! More pudding? Well, it is Christmas! Chocolates with your coffee? Well, if you're having one too....
We had a stream of friends and relatives visiting so I was constantly cooking, and they always turned up bearing gifts of more food (and alcohol, obvs).
A whole stilton! Thanks so much. What a massive box of Belgian chocolates - my favourites.
Plus, I was surrounded by endless boozing. Wine with every meal (except breakfast - even my family aren't that bad!), champagne at any excuse, whisky nightcaps. I deserved a bit of a treat, don't you think?
The problem is that, as regular readers will know, I am not very good at moderation. Once I put my foot on the accelerator I just can't stop. I think we drinkers tend to be all-or-nothing people, that's what got us into this mess.
(See my post: All or Nothing)
Yesterday we were driving back from the North and I was clutching a bag full of leftover chocolates which I had convinced myself had to be finished before we got home.
I was 'tidying up' the remains of a box of After Eights when it struck me that I must look just like Mr Creosote from Monty Python's Meaning of Life. "Just one more wafer thin mint".....
IT HAS TO STOP! Either my bathroom scales are malfunctioning, or I have gained five pounds in fourteen days. How is that possible?
So, this morning I was hugely relieved that the children were going back to school and I could get on with all the accumulated chores and start planning the new healthy eating regime.
The first day back is always a bit of a trial, isn't it? Getting out of bed when it's still dark and cold. Making sure they're all dressed in the correct kit, breakfasted and armed with the right bags and books.
I pulled up outside the school gates. It was really quiet. Ha! I thought. We're early! How clever are we?
Twenty-four hours early, it transpired. Not very clever at all. #awks.
Well done, kids! I said, with a forced grin. Great trial run! We'll be really good at this by tomorrow.
Three pairs of eyes rolled in the back seat. They already think their mother is a little unhinged and this morning hasn't helped.
Happy New Year to you all, and HUGE CONGRATS to SFM, Dr C, Pattik, Justonemore and everyone else who has just made ONE YEAR SOBER! You are totally awesome.
SM x
Awww thanks so much SM. I'm still on my own little high! It's your blog that got me here - I still love reading it - and cannot wait to read your book! So glad it's January - and the pressures of the season are over! I totally know what you mean about the all or nothing food gorge. And I'm still on hols for a few more days - so haven't stopped yet! But thanks to the new sober me - the old exercise regime has been far more consistent compared to prev years where I've started with good intentions that always drowned in a bucket of alcohol and hangovers! Anyway glad you had a great time in Scotland - too funny that you turned up to school a day early. Wishing you all of life's blessings and happiness for 2017 lovely lady. Xxx
ReplyDeleteHeartfelt congratulations to everyone who has reached their sober anniversary! You are trail blazers & show those coming along behind that it is truly possible. Thank you! I'm with you on the all or nothing SM! Since stopping drinking I've lost a stone without really trying. This from a serial dieter! In 2006 I joined Weight Watchers and remember at my first meeting laughing as I announced to the (nervously smiling room) that I wasn't sure whether it was Weight Watchers I should be joining or AA. Has taken me this long to realise that I joined the wrong group metaphorically speaking! But I'm here now & life is so much better!! :)
ReplyDeleteLol! At least you've found the right group now :-) xxx
DeleteThat is hilarious and I can so relate. I've shown up at birthday parties with my kids on the wrong day, taken them to doctors appointments a week early, etc. etc. I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one who does that! It will feel good to get back on a schedule and I'm sure your healthy eating habits will start to fall back in place.
ReplyDeleteI took my two to the creche at the gym this morning and when I bumped into a dad from another school who commented "Isn't it so great that the kids have gone back today?" I had a total panic, stopped my workout and ran to check the term dates on my phone in the car. Phew, it does start tomorrow. I guess we all go a little nutty after the break. Enjoy being the user-prepared mom tomorrow who isn't struggling with the 1st day back mentality.
ReplyDeleteYeah, 2KG for me over Xmas. Hit the gym yesterday and today and am rationing the treats or will be at the weekend. I'm thinking of a parrot tattoo as my 1 year memento - always had a thing about pirates!!
ReplyDeleteJustonemore
Love the parrot idea! I have secret hankering for a tat too. When is your soberversary date Justonemore? I know it's around now. Have we missed it?
DeleteDepends on how you view the leap year but it was 52 weeks on Sunday or a calendar year on Monday, either way the bird is going on when I have donated my 50th unit of blood (they don't like tattoos) which will be a bit later this year!! There's a bonus, my blood donations have also had distinctly less alcohol in them in the last year.
DeleteJustonemore
Happy Soberversary!!!! I'll amend this post to include you, you amazing lady ❤
DeleteOh, this post did make me smile, especially para 6.
ReplyDeleteDoing the school run a day early will mean at least you will know where all their kit is in the morning too. :)
Yes! I have school bags in car and kit in neat piles in bedrooms! Never been so organised....
DeleteBrilliant post - and I know how you feel.. the phrase "just one teeny wafer thin mint" is used regularly in this house (complete with fake French accent). I love that you got the kids to school a whole day early - just think of this as a form of sober over-achieving. When in my severely hungover periods I'd have been much more likely to be a day late.. Red xx
ReplyDeleteEvening SM and evening all.
ReplyDeleteWell - 24 hours early to school is far better than 24 hours late! And we've all done things like that - repeatedly! At least with no booze in the system we don't need to angst and feel guilty that it's because we've been drinking. But here's the thing.... while I said on New Year's Day (my 100 day mark) that there have been no downsides to not drinking, I'm still struggling. Is this normal do you - and any others reading this - think? I still REALLY miss drinking. During the Christmas break, I'd hear Frank Sinatra singing Christmas songs and start salivating, Pavlov's dog style, for white wine, or a G and T or a glass of prosecco. I look at my husband pouring himself a glass of wine and wish I could have one... my best friend came to stay for New Year and she's a genuinely moderate drinker and I think 'God, maybe I COULD be like that' and know that I really can't. And the mental knots and circular inner conversations continue. And I think: does it ever stop? Does the first year anniversary, or the second, or third mean you just stop doing these mental gymnastics? Because while every morning feels great knowing I haven't had a drink, the though of FOREVER is depressing - even though I know it shouldn't be. I know that at the moment I've escaped and I'm lucky and have got this far. But I still, despite myself, despite logic, despite reading all the blogs and fundamentally not being a moron, think: 'but what about summer holidays without a glass of rose - is that even possible?'. Tell me my sober friends, and my sober guru SM - is this all normal?!!
Yes yes yes. Think how long you've been drinking - it takes a while to break such a deeply ingrained habit. It really does start getting easier around the 100 day mark. You'll find that you stop thinking about it so much. But I couldn't contemplate forever until I'd done around six months. Hang in there - you've done the hardest bit and you don't want to have to do that obstacle course again!!! I know you're exhausted, but the miracles are about to happen....
Delete007 mum when I've tried to give up in the past I've felt like I have been missing out and felt angry that I can't drink. This time I don't feel like that at all and the only thing that's different is that I read Jason vale kick the drink, have you read that yet? It totally clicked a switch in my head and has made this time a lot easier for me! I have had possibly 2 times in my 46 sober days that I've thought ooooh I would like a drink (a ritual mulled wine when we pot the Xmas tree up! And my hubbie having a large glass of red with a steak on holiday!) but the craving was literally for a few moments then passed.
DeleteYou can do this!! 100 days is amazing!! Something to be very very proud off especially over the Christmas and new year period!! Well done xxxx
It does get easier but I think there will always be a few waves of nostalgia for the good old days of drinking. The main thing I have learned following this blog and soberistas is that moderation is the start of the rocky road back to daily drinking and it seems to be much harder to stop once you are back in the claws of the evil wine witch. I still continue to 'play the tape forward' whenever I think about having a glass and I really don't like what I see. Back to hangovers and self loathing. I stopped drinking in may 2015 quite suddenly and haven't looked back. It gets easier for sure and the longing becomes more of a distant memory rather than a physical and, for me, a very sad longing. I felt like that for a good few months and never want to go through it again. Hang on in there - it is so worth it xxx
DeleteI'm just a little bit ahead of you at 150ish days and it does get easier! My mind only occasionally tries to throw the "moderation" excuse at me now. One thing that helps me is to think about it honestly- do I really just want a drink- just one? No, I want a bottle, I want 2 bottles. I want a gluttonous, outrageous night of drinking - and then another. And, that's no good - easier to have none. If I have a bad craving (like over Christmas) I take a nap :) Hanging in there with you! xoxox
DeleteThank you SM and everyone, for your responding. I will continue to hang on hanging in there...! I DO have the Jason Vale book Ang75, but never finished it... got busy with Drinking a Love Story by Caroline Knapp and also Drink by Ann Dowsett Johnston (both I think SM recommendations) so I SHOULD finish/re-read it. And 'playing it forward' is a really good technique Edinburgh Housewife, and of course the reality of thinking about what we really want Stacy... thanks to you both for the reminder. A bit of weight loss would clearly have been welcome but I haven't lost a single ounce. I may even have put on weight annoyingly. But then chocolate substituting alcohol consumption is probably the reason - but I'm still miffed! Thanks again all of you.
Delete007mum - I was on the brink of reaching 100 days back in November, and decided to have a glass of wine instead. I'm now back at day 12, and really wishing I'd stuck with it. During my relapse I realised how unsatisfying drinking is, 1 glass leads to 2, then 3, and then I have a terrible night's sleep and have a dodgy stomach and horrible mouth all the next day, and that's before I even start on the nagging internal voice berating me for drinking, and then instantly plotting my next one. One thing's for sure - the wine witch's nagging is definitely never ending when I do drink, so I'm putting my trust in the hope that not drinking will shut her up instead!!
DeleteHi Minnie, you make a very good and convincing point. Congratulations on being back on it and already on day 12. You must be delighted to have a good chunk of days under your belt. I guess I/we just to have to remember that 'no one said it was going to be easy' but it's overall much better not to be drinking. Good luck!
DeleteMinnie's right! And not drinking DOES (eventually) silence the wine witch! Xxx
DeleteAnd the weight will eventually fall off!!! I am also more than 2 stones lighter than I was when I stopped :-) Win win win!!!
DeleteHi SM
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh, 24 hrs early!how organised can you get!! My girls aren't back until the 9th, so we've now got back from skiing where like you I ate whatever I fancied whenever I fancied it as a reward for not drinking!! Yesterday was our first day back and I was just constantly hungry, it's so hard adjusting to normal eating again!!!! I am only
Weighing myself every 10 days since I stopped drinking ( because I used to weigh myself a lot and thought I needed to have a break from that) so I'm due to weigh in on Monday (day 50) so I've no idea if I've put weight on but you know what it doesn't matter! The fact we are not drinking makes us superstars! We would have still put weight on if drinking anyway so we are still winners!!! Thanks again for your super blog ( I finished "Rachel's holiday" yesterday, a book you reccomneded, I loved it!! Anymore recommendations would be appreciated!
Xxxx
Try Jane Green's Summer Secrets - another great book with an alcoholic heroine. And Girl on a Train, obvs!
DeleteMade me laugh as usual....so me to get the wrong time or day....my kids despair...also the after eight thing...I ate a whole box in two days.....definately overindulged in sweet treats because of the drinking around me...lesser of two evils...everything now cleared away and back to the healthy eating I had established, I have not had this glorious weight loss since stopping, but I put a lot of that down to the menopause, and my replace to of alcohol with sweet treats..this years resolution is to stay AF ...and cut sugar to a minimum...congrats to all those who started the new year sober...I am looking forward to being one year in March....much thanks as always to SM and her posts....no doubt in my mind made all the difference..🤗
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year! Mine went back today and I'm so glad to get back to "normal" had my first sober Christmas for what feels like ever! It was tough, not because I craved a drink but because it all felt so full and boring, felt a bit down if I'm honest. 84 days today 😊
ReplyDelete*dull, not full, but like you SM I ate my body weight in chocolate!
DeleteThose 'it's all a bit dull' feelings do come and go, but it WILL get easier! You're doing brilliantly!
DeleteI too have eaten more cake and chocolate than ever .... And puddings when I would probably have had another glass instead! Dare not climb on the scales yet as the 100 day weight drop has not happened yet either. However as I don't need to do Dry January (he he I already am) I think I'll tackle the chocolate and do 'Choc free Jan'. Onwards and upwards lovely AF buddies.
ReplyDeleteHi SM, great blog and yes, it really does have to stop, even if it means binning the leftovers! Just to let you know I'm picking up on the "let's get active" initiative again and will be forging ahead with it this year. Will keep you posted - AF Loud and Proud, Nana Treen xx
ReplyDeleteThe weight-loss theme and the kids in the backseat of the car remind me of a t-shirt I've seen here in the States that reads, "Eye Rolling Is My Cardio" :)
ReplyDeleteLol! 🙄
DeleteHa ha ha. Your kids must have loved that.
ReplyDeleteIt was the holidays. You indulged. That's what holidays are for.
It's all water and you will pee it out when you resume normal life.
Throw the scale away. It was the second best thing I have ever done for myself (after quitting drinking).
Anne
Good idea, Anne! Escape the tyranny of the scales 👍
DeleteI'm with Anne! Toss out the scale - you're gorgeous! (slightly nutty, but gorgeous still ) xx
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year everyone, I'm also an ex lurker coming out from under the radar.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your blog SM and it's great to have it plopping into my inbox!
I'm new to being AF, I'm on day 95 and looking forward to Day 100 next week - I managed my AF Christmas by disguising AF beer and wine as the real thing, which made it easier. I felt it was too early to come clean to my family, who are all enthusiastic drinkers and eaters - my stepdaughter got a hard time over the dinner table when she said she would be cutting down on meat in 2017; there was only me fighting her corner, so goodness only knows what I'd have been up against if I had announced my AF Christmas! (My H knows obviously and is behind me all the way).
Now I'm hiding behind doing Dry January, and hopefully will be able to stay under the radar for the rest of the year until I feel able to "come out" as an AF person.
I've chosen my user name as my favourite drink was Gin & Tonic, so I can still have my pretty glass with lots of ice and a wodge of lime, but without the gin. I've also directed my addictive personality towards "clean" eating and going to the gym, so I'm looking and feeling great, which is just the tonic I need!
Thank you for the blog SM, you always have a great sense of humour and talk such good sense!
Hi Just the Tonic! Huge congrats on 95 days! You're almost past the worst! I have found an awesome alcohol free gin - it's called Seedlip, and I drink it with Fever Tree tonic. However, G&T wasn't my favourite tipple - it might be too much of a trigger for you, as AF wine is for me...
DeleteHello Sober Mummy,
DeleteThank you for the welcome! W
Wednesday is my 100th day, and at times over Christmas it was only looking at the numbers clocking up on my phone day counter app that stopped me saying "Oh sod it, I'll be able to start again in January" and having a G&T with everyone else.
Yes, I'd read about Seedlip fake gin, but I agree with you - it won't taste the same and I will just feel sad that I can't have the real stuff.
Still, I love finding and trying new "beers" and "wines", my latest discovery is St Peter's Without, which is a lovely dark creamy drink, more suitable for a winter's day.
Have a good weekend everyone. xx