Maybe you overdid it on Christmas Day and have decided that this is your Day One, or perhaps you're gearing up to quitting in the New Year?
I think we're all looking forward to a new, bright and shiny 2017. After all, 2016 has been a really hard one, starting with the death of David Bowie, then Prince, Leonard Cohen and now George Michael. Some of the greatest songwriters and poets of my youth all.... gone.
I loved George Michael in all his incarnations - except his final one, as a bloated, depressed recluse, addicted to alcohol, marijuana and - allegedly - crack cocaine and heroin.
I was at a traditional girl's boarding school, perched on a windy cliff overlooking a grey sea, when George burst onto the scene in Wham!
There was very little to do at weekends when we were fifteen. We weren't yet trusted to go into Brighton unaccompanied, so we were left, rattling around the decaying old buildings and vast bleak grounds, to make our own entertainment.
This involved activities like trying to get high on Tippex thinner, seeing if we could make our own tobacco from baked banana skins or competitive cockroach catching. I was the House champion at catching cockroaches - the only school sport at which I excelled.
Anyhow, one memorable weekend we spent hours perfecting a dance routine to Wham!'s newly released single Bad Boys.
I still have the lyrics seared into my memory:
When you tried to tell me what to do,
I just shut my mouth and smiled at you,
One thing that I know for sure
I just shut my mouth and smiled at you,
One thing that I know for sure
Bad boys
Stick together, never sad boys
Good guys
They made rules for fools, so get wise
Stick together, never sad boys
Good guys
They made rules for fools, so get wise
I remember thinking how those words could have been written for us - the cool rebels who loved ignoring all the rules.
But the truth is that breaking the rules catches up with you eventually, and it's wise to fall into line before it's too late.
So, if you spent this Christmas drinking way more than you know you should have done, then why not make it your Last Christmas boozing, in honour of gorgeous, wonderful and talented George?
Love SM x
Wow, that is powerful, SM. And it didn't have to end that way! Millions of people loved him, and it didn't matter. He couldn't find it in himself to heal ... to keep standing back up after falling again. And we are left heartbroken that another talented, beautiful, fallible soul has left before his time. Though he was famous, it's no less tragic when a homeless youth dies for the same reason ... and alone. This tragedy has to stop.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's where we come in. I am stopping one tragedy. I am saving a life. And in saving myself, the world is one step closer to healing the pain addiction has caused.
Thank you, SM. May your words echo around the world and lead someone out there to a better way of living.
xoxo,
Shawna
Big hugs and Merry Christmas to you, Shawna! Xxx
DeleteWell, I'm sat her on my own tonight with the dogs. It has been quite a year one way and another. As you say SM, many iconic figures from my youth have gone, some well before their time. I think David Bowie was the most influential but then you stop and think about Terry Wogan (I am a TOG at heart), Leonard Cohen and Mel Brooks and even Rabbi Lionel Blue - I can't resist one of his stories when he was officiating at a funeral, lost his footing and stumbled into the open grave, as he pulled himself out, he said "now I know what Jesus felt like". As I said, its been a year....started off in a deep depressive black place. I had been searching for a way out or forward for a long time and sometime last December, I found Belle and then this sober universe and I have drawn great strength and comfort from reading all of the stories and journeys, either here or reflected in the many Blogs that emanate from your pages. I revel in the anonymity, as I am sure do many others. My work is difficult and sensitive to shocks. Even now, the subject of drinking is a difficult one to broach (there is a cultural norm that flies in the face of changes to personality). That looks a bit complicated but if you drink that is fine and if you don't, then that is accepted but if you drank and then stop then that stands out - so I relish the anonymity. Also, I have said things in these Blog responses that I have never mentioned to another living soul - cathartic? Yes, Cowardly? Yes, Ashamed? of my actions and weaknesses - of course. Starting to sound a bit AA and as I have often said, I can't do AA But the discipline, guidance, advice, sober toolkit, coping strategies and examples in these pages have provided me with a handrail, also you just get angry and say fuck it - alcohol has had nearly 40 years of my life and I want something back now. I realised the other day that I started drinking at about 15 or so, probably had my first taste when I was 13 (drop of cider with Sunday lunch) so nearly a year of no drinking is in itself a profoundly life changing step. I have also seen a lot of humour here ( and I include all sorts of people like Red, Ginger, Anne, TWTIK and many others), laugh out loud humour that comes from real life with all its ups and downs. One thing that kept me going was that after a 100 days or whatever, you sort of feel that life owes you something, hey, I've stopped drinking, I should be a better person, people will like me more, my car won't break down, the house won't need fixing (three various roofing problems this year), I'll win the fucking lottery but actually, life is still punctuated by lemons coming at you from all sides - its just that you're sober - nothing else has changed except you might have a bit more money in your pocket. Actually the good things have been amazing - New Jeans!!! Let me say that again - New fucking Levis - several sizes smaller, I chucked away a whole wardrobe and had to buy new stuff. Admittedly, not just the booze as we decided to stop carbs as well and I hit the gym in a more focused way. I should say, I have been very lucky as my OH has joined me on this journey so no booze for either of us for nearly a year. The negatives, I still want to drink but it gets easier. I have lost some friends and I don't do what I used to, particularly in my work in London and that causes some deep regret but I am still alive and I often think that this problem of mine might have killed me in the end (actually still could). Lots of stuff related to that in the papers today. If anybody is reading this and considering starting the journey, just do it - its not easy, you will meet self-doubt, fear etc but the prize is so worth the effort. So I'll be reaching for my Heron Valley nettle fizz on Saturday and wishing you all a very successful and happy 2017.
ReplyDeleteJustonemore
Thanks so much for that, Justonemore. You are awesome and I'm so happy you've been by my side this last year. Thank you ❤
DeleteYou have summed it up perfectly Justonemore, it's like Normal life but still with lemons but sober it's so much more manageable and better. I have been poorly so many times this year but that has only made me determined to reclaim all of my health. A week to go and you reach your year.
DeleteGood stuff - love the post SM, and Justonemore's epic, awesome comment. I'm hoping I can handle those lemons a lot better sober. And hopefully in smaller jeans too.. Red xx
Delete@Justonemore...reports of the demise of Mel Brooks are greatly exaggerated.
DeleteMerry Christmas. Survived it here !! I did need a posh drink though... I went with mock champagne made with elderflower cordial, lime cordial and lemonade. Also treat myself to some posh coffees. Looking forward to my 1st soberversary now in March !
ReplyDeleteI'm 55 years old in May and this was my first sober Christmas in over 40 years.. oh how lucky I am to have found sense at last. I feel sure it would have ended the same way as George's Christmas had I not seen it coming on that cold feb morning 10 months ago. I wouldn't be here writing this and thanking my lucky stars that someone, somewhere obviously has my back..! I am so damm grateful. Thank you too SM. You have been a marvelous inspiration to me since day one. I feel very very lucky to be part of something so profoundly important as this new life we are all leading. Thank god we found our way out. It's all about helping each other do just that. Never ever look back to those dark horrible days with anything other than relief that that whole nasty affair is well and truly over. 2017 is going to be an amazing year for us all.
ReplyDeleteI'll watch your back Lizzie, 55 in March next year and I echo your writing.
DeleteJustonemore
I've got yours covered too JOM! High fives all round next spring! LW
Delete1st sober Christmas done. Very pleased as it was xmas last year when I tipped off the wagon after 3 months. The difference is amazing. Not just the hangover which is obvious but everything is easier to cope with. Nothing makes me stressed or anxious anymore. Like justonemore says - life still happens but its easy to cope with. (Love the bit about the Levis btw) if anyone is contemplating giving up for January it doesn't have to be with a heavy heart or feelings of missing out. Its hard at first but then you will feel Fabulous.
ReplyDeleteMerry Xmas SM, I was a little worried as I knew people would be drinking beside me every day...I also had bunion surgery on the 22nd December which has put me off my feet...but I found it was a pleasure to not be drinking..and I was not triggered or tempted at all....thank you so much for all you have given....there is no doubt in my mind that your posts have been the difference between success and failure..many of your words, analogies, and humourous stories are permanently etched in my mind...I am now looking forward to the New Year, with a renewed vigour for all that life has to offer,,,no longer stuck in groundhog loop of alcohol addiction...Thank You..xxx
ReplyDeleteOh yes and I reached the 9month mark on Boxing Day...only have a birthday then one year to celebrate....after that I will just be living no longer counting minutes hours day's events,,based around whether alcohol is involved or not...just living life as it should be lived...if I can do it...anyone can....who knew..
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking this yesterday, lots of my favourite musicians from the 80's are now dead. Lucky Madonna seems to be healthy. When I think about it most of them died because of drugs or alcohol. It's very sad and such a waste of a life. I will never give up on giving up alcohol. Im almost 8 weeks now and had a lovely sober Christmas, 2014 was also a sober Christmas but 2015 wasn't. Sober is definitely better. X
ReplyDeleteHi sm
ReplyDeleteYes I managed a sober Xmas and currently on a sober skiing holiday, never done a skiing holiday so it's 2 new things for me!!!! I just had a huge wipeout so now sipping a cappuccino whilst everyone around me is drinking alcohol!!! Woo hoo for me!!! I'm in Andorra and all of the bars have no alcohol lager, which is fab and better than uk bars. Day 39 for me!!! Thanks to you again!!! Hope your having a good break and yes I cried at george he was my first crush along with Pete wicks of eastenders!!!!!! ; - ) xxxx
I have to say that I find this post very smug, judgmental and inaccurate. George Michael did not die alone. He had a much-loved partner.
ReplyDeleteSo you're one of "the wise ones"? Are you suggesting that it takes intelligence to break an addiction? I don't think so.
I agree with Anne, I'm afraid- I found the tone of this post really horrible and the content inaccurate.
ReplyDeleteApologies to Anne and Lizzie - I was not intending to be at all judgemental. I, and most of the readers of this blog, know better than most how difficult it is to break an addiction. My point was just that it is wise not to think 'rules are for fools', as I did for so many years. I don't think I'm one of 'the wise ones' - I think I was one of the fools! Love SM x
ReplyDeleteThanks for your reply and edit- I love your blog and know you're not judgemental at all xx
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