Monday, 18 July 2016

No Such Thing as Separation

I spent the day today with my Goddaughter, whose father died a week ago. She is eleven years old.

I cried. She was very brave. She looked like an adult; I felt like a child.

I told her a story. I told her about a great friend of her father's and mine, Juliet, who died in a car accident when she was just twenty-nine. She, like him, had flaming red hair and an irrepressible spirit.

(For more about Juliet, read my post: When the Wine Witch Wins)

About ten years after Juliet died, I was in the passenger seat of a car being driven, by my husband, through a torrential thunder storm in South Africa.

I was dozing and saw, vividly, my friend Juliet, who yelled at me to wake up.

In the poor visibility Mr SM was turning the wrong way down a dual carriageway. If I hadn't woken up we, and the two small children in the back, would have died.

I told my Goddaughter that, because of that experience, I truly believe that those we love look after us after they die. They become our Guardian Angels.

I hope she doesn't think I'm totally barking.

I always used to be suspicious of people who quoted Rumi - the 13th century Persian poet. His quotations usually crop up on Facebook or Instagram over yet another ghastly shot of a celebrity, in an improbable yoga pose, on a beach bathed by the setting sun. But then I found this:

Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes.
Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.

Thank you so much for all your incredibly thoughtful messages and e-mails over the last few days. They've helped more than I can say. So sorry for not responding to you all individually.

Love SM x


  1. SM you are one very special person! While not happy about the circumstances particularly, I am so thankful and honored to be in some small way connected to you.
    With love xxx

  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you don't feel bad for crying in front of your friend's daughter. Not sure how any human with feelings would keep their tears in at such a moment. For what it's worth, I also genuinely believe in guardian angels and that they look out for the living. Sending love and strength xx

  3. That Rumi quote is beautiful. My prayers our with you and your family and your friends family. xo

  4. I am sure she will find comfort in that. I hope u are feeling better xx

  5. Lovely quote, I'm going to keep that nearby. I hadn't read the post about your friend before, somehow I missed it. What a great thing to know that your friend was still looking out for you! Q's family is lucky to have someone like you in their life. So sorry for what you all are going through. Thank you for sharing your journey through the grief.

  6. I believe in guardian angels. And I believe there is a lot more to this world than what we can see, hear, feel or prove by any scientific method. I'm sure you're a wonderful godmother. Poor wee soul is probably still in shock. It won't be real for her yet. Big hug.

  7. Wow, what a great thought about goodbyes. That quote makes sense in my soul. I'm so happy you can stand boldly and celebrate the connection you still have with Juliet.

  8. Love your story about juliet. So many things like that have happened to people I know and it's nice to think there's someone out there looking after us xxx

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  10. Dearest SM - that quote is so beautiful and means so much. Keep strong wonderful lady. So much love and oodles of hugs to you and your family and Q's family. Love SFM

  11. i love Rumi. I read it at yoga often. He captures my heart so perfectly.
    Hugs and love to you, love,y woman.

  12. That is a beautiful post SM. So, so sorry to hear about your friend. xxxxx