I'm still recovering from Saturday night's awesome Moonwalk. 50,000 women (some men), all dressed up, walking through London overnight in aid of breast cancer charities.
It's been a long time since I've been up all night with crowds of excited people wearing silly, neon clothes. And I've never done it sober!
We laughed. We wept. We weed behind bushes in St James's Park. It was a great reminder that you don't need to drink to get high.
(Walking past all the scary, edgy, wild eyed drunks around 3am was a great lesson too).
While lying on sofa bemoaning my aching muscles and shredded feet, I was thinking about a question Annie asked me last week.
She asked me if I ever felt sad that I can't just have one drink from time to time.
As soon as she asked the question I felt a wave of regret as I pictured myself on a terrace, overlooking a perfect beach, clutching a glass of chilled white wine.
With huge effort I pushed the image to one side and thought logically.
"No," I replied (lying only slightly), "because that's not the sort of person I am. To wish that I could drink moderately would be to wish that I were a moderate person. And that's not me."
You see, we enthusiastic imbibers are not moderate, we never were. That's why ex drinkers are awesome.
We didn't want one glass to just soften the edges, we wanted all the edges obliterated.
We didn't want one glass of champagne to toast the bride, we wanted two bottles and a serious PARTY!
We didn't want a drink or two at the end of the day to relax a bit, we wanted to be transported to somewhere else entirely.
To become a moderate drinker I'd have to become someone altogether different.
But, in being totally sober, I have found myself again. Still all or nothing. Still over the top. Still immoderate. Still me.
But now I can be immoderate about other, better stuff, like being a great Mum, and a good friend, and making the most of every opportunity (that's all still work in progress, obviously. Not there yet....).
Love to you all,