Sunday 6 September 2015

Alcohol Induced Rage - Part 2

On day 15, way back in the Mists of Time (March 17th), I wrote this post on Alcohol Induced Rage.

It was inspired by Jeremy Clarkson, who lost his £1million a year job with the BBC for decking a producer who bought him a cold meat platter instead of a steak at the end of a day filming.

Jeremy had reminded me of the terrible red mists of fury that would descend after a drinking bout, over the tiniest of things.

(Incidentally, Jeremy recently picked up a new contract with Amazon Prime worth £10million a year. If only my alcoholic rages were anything like as profitable!)

I haven't lost my temper for a while - one of the great benefits of going sober is Zen-like calm (at least relatively speaking).

But I did last night.

I was in bed, about to drop off. Mr SM was in the bathroom. As he closed the bathroom door I heard a whuuumph! as the wet towel I'd recently picked up off the floor and hung up hit the floor again.

Needless to say, Mr SM (who must have heard it) paid no attention, and climbed into bed.

I sat bolt upright in bed and yelled THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH THE TOWELS!

Mr SM looked totally taken aback. Rabbit in headlights. There was no stopping me.

I PICK UP YOUR TOWELS! I PICK UP #1'S TOWELS. #2 AND #3'S TOWELS. IF THE DOG USED TOWELS I WOULD HAVE TO PICK THOSE UP TOO! NO-ONE ELSE IN THIS FAMILY EVER PICKS UP A TOWEL. IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME THE WHOLE HOUSE WOULD GRADUALLY FILL UP WITH TOWELS UNTIL WE ALL DROWNED IN WHITE FLUFFY TOWELS!

As I paused for breath, Mr SM put his hand on my arm (very brave - I could have bitten it off), and said - very quietly - "SM, this isn't about the towels, is it?"

I stopped and thought. It struck me that whilst I was, obviously, cross about the towel situation, the truth is that I am always cross about towels. But a dropped towel won't usually make me go stratospheric.

#1 is away at the moment. I'm not going to see her for a whole week. Longer than I've ever been without her. I miss her. That's why I lost it.

Had I had a few drinks, I would never have realised this. I would have ignored Mr SM's intervention, which would only have increased my fury. I would have moved on from the towels, and onto my other pet hate - the way everyone leaves their dirty plates and cutlery on top of the dishwasher rather than inside it.

So, quitting alcohol doesn't make the occasional bouts of  irrational rage go away, but it does help you to stop, get a sense of perspective, and realise that it's not about the towels. Or the dishwasher. Or the platter of cold meats.

And that has to be better for our sanity and our relationships.

By the way, if anyone has any ideas about how to get anyone else in my family to pick up a sodding, sodden towel once in a while then please let me know.

Love SM x

5 comments:

  1. Haha I can relate to this. I think I am going through a (very) delayed pink cloud phase and am Mrs Positivity/Get up and go/lets make a list so we don't waste the weekend. I 'had a go' at Mr LNM about something seemingly innocent (to him). But when we delved into it my spiralling thoughts, we revealed my beef wasn't about the situation at hand but a long running issue I have with him about his sleeping habits. (Basically he spends hours every day playing an app on the ipad and this means he rolls into bed - usually waking me from my deep sleep - then has to be up at 7 so suffers terribly from the grumps). He's been saying 'I need to come to bed sooner' for over TWO years. And quite frankly, now I'm sober, I've HAD IT! Can you get divorced on the grounds if irreconcilable sleeping habits?!? x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, yeah. And I remind myself 'it's not like he has nothing to complain about'. I'm sure I'm a pain sometimes, not to mention being a drunk, which he has been very nice about. But I do understand. Why, oh why, does my hushand leave the shaving cream on the sink every goddamn time he shaves? Does he actually imagine it goes back to where it belongs on its own two little feet?

    ReplyDelete
  3. My husband is the neat one in my house!
    I'm neat too, but he's extra neat.
    I'm lucky.
    I am finding that I am way less angry than I was when drinking, and I don't hold my anger as long.
    xo
    Wendy

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hubby tends to hang up his towel but the kids are atrocious.
    Solution - buy sets of towels (a bath towel, a hand towel and a face cloth in three different colours - one colour for each child).
    Day one - yellow towel on the floor - REMOVE it and replace it with the yellow hand towel.
    Day two - yellow hand towel on the floor - REMOVE it and replace it with the yellow face cloth.
    Day three - (you probably won't have to go this far)REMOVE the face cloth and don't replace it.
    Mwahahahahaha - no booze so I have to amuse myself somehow :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOVE that solution! Made my day. Thank you! Xx

      Delete