Saturday, 4 July 2015

Rude Lushes

Happy 4th of July to all my American friends! I bet that's a tricky one....good luck!

I did my second party in two nights last night. I am SO looking forward to a night in with Mad Men and a hot chocolate....

(In the old days I'd now be on a weekend long bender in order to postpone the inevitable hangover, anxiety and self loathing).

I am getting used to sober life now, but parties, whilst getting easier, I still struggle with. It's also one of the topics that people e-mail me about the most.

I no longer get that fizz of anticipation leading up to a big event. But I don't dread events any more either. Now it's just mild, but mounting, anxiety.

I don't worry that I can't do it. I know I can. I don't even worry that I won't enjoy myself. I know I will, at least for a few hours.

What I still worry about is being seen as boring.

I used to pride myself in being unconcerned by what others thought of me. Now I wonder whether I ever achieved this state of 'blissful lack of concern' sober! I suspect it's yet another thing I have to learn to do unaided...

So, last night was a party that some friends throw annually. Each year there are a handful of new people, but most of us have known each other for ten or twenty years.

I find that sort of event harder than walking into a room full of strangers. Too much (drunken) history, too many past (accidental) insults, too many (uncomfortable) questions.

An hour into the party I was chatting in a small group and this girl bounded up and hugged the people I was talking to. She turned to me, all Hollywood smile, frozen frown lines and fake breasts, and said "Hi, I'm Blanche."

I knew she was Blanche. I knew last year on the two or three occasions that we met that she was Blanche. I've known for the last decade that her name was Blanche. She does this to me every time! 

What Blanche was actually saying, as she flicked her hair and pouted at me was "you are far too insignificant for me to bother to remember."

I was, as you can tell, livid.

But then it struck me that I have done that sort of thing many, many times. At the same event in previous years I would have talked to the same handful of people (other big boozers) and ignored everyone else (too square and boring).

Last night I made a point of building bridges. I had some great chats with a lot of lovely people. I left at midnight and drove home (still a thrill!) as the party was ramping up a notch.

Needless to say, I didn't say goodbye to Blanche.

I'm starting to realise that the boozers probably don't think you're boring because they're too drunk themselves to notice what you're drinking. And the non boozers think you're a hell of a lot more interesting and less rude than you used to be.

So now it's a lovely, sunny, Saturday morning. I have the joy of Mr SM's hangover to remind me what I'm (not) missing, but the pain of having to explain to #3 that her tadpoles have died in the heat wave.

Poor little tadpoles who never made it into frogs (there's an analogy there for another day!)

Happy independence day to you all. Here's to freedom!

Love SM x


  1. Thank you, I will enjoy The 4th!. I am enjoying all the parties because I keep thinking how the last couple of years I drank way too much the night before at a big party and ended up feeling horrible on the fourth.Not drinking takes the pressure off, I don't have to worry about my drinking I just get to enjoy the moment.

  2. Here's to freedom! I love this post!
    Have a great non-hungover day! Hugs

  3. You're right about boozers not noticing if you are drinking or not. I have managed to slip under the radar almost every time - until I get the car keys out, and someone is coherent enough to say 'Are you ok to drive?"
    Sorry about the tadpoles SM. It's really hot here too. So glad to be free of hangovers! And Happy Independence Day to my neighbours!

  4. The 4th of July is the second most drinking holiday in the US.
    The night before Thanksgiving is our booziest!
    Parties are interesting now that I am learning to navigate them sober.

  5. OMG! Fried tadpoles, that reminds me of a horrible story from when I was a little girl. Oh the Frog-manity!!
    Interesting party! "Hi, my name is Bitch, and I do not recognize you as a human." Hahaha! Difficult persons are SO MUCH MORE FUN when you're sober. There's always an a-hole, at least one person who will make an ass of herself with bad manners- at which we may titter. "For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at then in our turn?"
    We are laying low for the 4th. Being sober means we can drive down (DRIVE MIND YOU) to the river and watch the fireworks tonight. Or stay here and listen to the hillbillies in the street below hootin' and hollerin' and setting off bottle rockets til 3am.