Monday 1 June 2015

Positive Choices

Day 92. Rhymes with Woohoo!

I was reading the Sunday Times yesterday, and found, on the first page of the Magazine, an article by one of their columnists - Katie Glass - entitled 'Here's to the most outrageous thing I've ever done: giving up drinking.'

Annoyingly, I can't post a link, because you have to be a subscriber (what happened to sharing nicely, guys?).

Katie talks about giving up alcohol for a month. She says "Things I discovered while not drinking: I am a morning person. I am not the Best Dancer Ever. Most thrilling: it turns out there's nothing I did drunk I can't do sober."

She also talks about the 'pink cloud.' She writes '...after a week or so, something new: I began to feel a deep sense of happiness, so euphoric, I didn't mention it to anyone, because it's so bloody smug....Still, there it is. A dreamy bliss, at times so overwhelming, it hits my stomach in a sheer rush of joy like going down on a swing.'

(Going down on a swing sounds a bit pornographic to me, but that's just my warped mind).

On the negative side, she says '...being so predictable reminds me why I liked drinking so much. Because you can open a bottle without knowing where it will lead - a bar, a book, an overdrawn credit card, a flight...' and reflects on a quote by Goethe: "A man can stand anything except a succession of ordinary days."

But, she concludes, 'eventually, even being bad gets boring. Saturday night - pub, club - becomes predictable too. And now binge-drinking is ubiquitous, staying sober feels a more outrageous thing to do.'

Thank you, Katie - who has, for the time being, decided to stay sober - for presenting sober as the individual, rebellious choice.

I posted the same thought a while ago in 'Rebel Without a Cause', and one of my much loved regular readers, Tallaxo, posted this comment recently: I never really followed the crowd and liked to be a little different, so that's the way I look at sobriety. It is kind of unique because so few people are doing it. I even have a silly grin on my face as I'm paying for my non-alcoholic pear cider at the Tesco checkout. It's a kind of 'look at me. Who's the clever one now?'

Because of years of marketing and brainwashing we are conditioned to see 'sober' as being something that some poor unfortunates are forced into doing because they are sick. It's up to people like Katie Glass, and all of us, to change that. To present it as a positive lifestyle choice.

I have - finally - started to tell people that I've stopped drinking. I don't tell them it's forever (as that makes them uncomfortable in the same way it used to make me uncomfortable), but I tell them that, having given up initially 'for Lent,' I felt so much better that I'm carrying on.

I tell them that I sleep better, I'm losing weight, my moods are better and I have more energy. Then they start to look at me with admiration rather than pity.

Most of the people I've come across since starting this blog never reached 'rock bottom.' We didn't have to stop drinking. We hadn't (yet) got to the point where our families and friends intervened. We hadn't lost our homes, our children, our health.

Most of us weren't even physically dependant and didn't need rehab. We chose to stop drinking because it was the better choice. We saw the road branching ahead of us and took the right turn.

The more we can shout about the benefits of sober, the more people will get off the elevator before it hits the bottom.

So thank you Katie, and thanks to all of you.

Love SM x


15 comments:

  1. I was at a party and my girlfriends were saying how great I looked when one of the ladies said "I guess I'll just have to stick with fat and happy". I was walking away when she said this and didn't have a chance to tell her I am sooo Happy. Most people think we are miserable and have no idea how great we feel.

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  2. It is interesting how that secret glee is so strong.
    That freedom that comes with breaking a "habit" that inside most of us realize is not good for us.
    Perhaps the occasional drinker who gets dripunk on New Years doesn't feel it.
    But anyone whose weekends regularly include binge drinking until whatever happens, happens, knows well enough that this is a dangerous game.

    I often think it's the lucky people who go to rehab. All that focus on self evaluation. Support. Acknowledgement that what we are doing is much more than breaking a bad habit, it is overcoming a compulsive behaviour that can only get worse and might just kill you.

    We are the rebels. And we know the secret-we don't need to dull our minds to see that an ordinary life is actually miraculous.

    Anne

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    1. Hear hear! And congrats on 18 months, Anne! That's awesome x

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    2. I did go to rehab. I hadn't hit rock bottom but I needed help to break the emotional and psychological addiction - the insane treadmill I called it. Every day, despite swearing I wouldn't get back on, I did. As I said goodbye to my husband that first evening in rehab it felt like my biggest failure, that felt like rock bottom. It was, of course, my biggest success. I was lucky, I got help and support and most amazingly, understanding! . Hats off to all if you who are doing it without that help, I'm full of admiration for you. Xx

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    3. And I you, Moosey! Rather than having the courage to do rehab I've muddled along with my DIY version ;-) I'd love to have access to real life experts and not just Google searches!

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  3. I did experience that pink cloud myself. It didn't las long though: a day or two. Mostly on weekends when I did not have a hangover, or wasn't tired or didn't have to struggle with myself.

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    1. You sound sad ttb, so I checked out your blog and see why. I left you a message there x

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  4. Yay,look at us! A little army of rebels with smiles on our faces. Flossie x

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    1. Woo hoo! I've missed you Flossie! Glad so see you posted the other day x

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  5. The unbelievable smugness I feel at waking with no hangover is the best feeling ever. I also feel a bit rebellious by not going with the crowd and being different. Drinking is encouraged and it is 'frowned' upon to be sober. Every TV programme where someone has a bad day is all made better by a large glass of wine it infuriates me!!

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    1. Me too. It's like we all fell into this giant trap that we can only see clearly once we're out...

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  6. I am (mostly) enjoying AF life and once I get past the wine witch calling it's great. It feels good to do it out of choice and not suffering from hangover and self loathing the next day makes it all worthwhile. It really helps reading about others who have chosen to do this and all the benefits of AF life. Still need that support xxx

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    1. We all need that support EHW. You're doing great! X

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  7. Love this blog. 14 days today and I feel really great. Tired but happy and calm x

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