Sunday, 4 October 2015

Hello Mojo! Where the hell have you been?

We went to a really big party last night. It was a friend's Significant Birthday, and he'd gone to town.

The theme was Game of Thrones. There were 2 huge marquees, decked out with all the mediaeval paraphernalia. Goblets, thrones, huge banners, furs, velvets and dragons.

There was snow, ice sculptures, white walkers and wildlings. There was a dwarf (obviously), jesters, flame throwers and a lady with a large snake (not a euphemism).

In the 'dark drinking days' I probably wouldn't have gone.

You see, it was in the country. Over an hour by car down the motorway. Going would have involved either (a) one of us not drinking (not possible), (b) hiring a driver to take us there and back (horribly pricey, on top of present, costumes, babysitter etc) or (c) finding somewhere to stay locally (ditto expensive, plus a real hassle).

But two months ago, when I got the invitation (on parchment, with a wax seal), I thought wow, that looks amazing. I'll drive. If we leave by 12.30am, we'll be back by 1.30am. Simples.

I dressed up. I rooted through the Wardrobe of Past Lives and Shattered Dreams, and came across a boned corset with lace arms and huge feathers round the neckline (I told you I had a wild past....). I added a new, slinky black skirt and high boots, and a waist length hairpiece (also, for some reason, in my wardrobe).

I took a picture and stuck it on Facebook. This is significant. I don't think I have ever posted a picture of myself on Facebook. (see my post Mirrors and Photographs).

Mr SM was looking grumpy. He wanted to stay home and watch the rugby. I dressed him up in a rather musty smelling old fur coat I'd dug out from the cellar (aka the Pit of Despair), a crazy, black wig and a plastic sword belonging to #2. He looked like a cross between Jon Snow (which was the intention) and Monica Lewinsky (which wasn't).

Mr SM drove us there, and I had a quick peek at Facebook. By the time we had arrived I'd had around fifteen comments saying things like Looking HOT SM! Which meant that, rather than slink in, already half a bottle down, and head straight for the bar (like the old days), I STRUTTED!

My re-discovered Mojo and I OWNED that party (without rudely eclipsing our amazingly generous hosts, obvs).

Now, my local friends, who see me regularly, haven't commented hugely on my transformation. The changes have come gradually. I've lost, on average, half a pound a week.

But most of these people hadn't seen me for over a year. I have never had so many compliments in my life! (Except on my wedding day, when I did look genuinely spectacular, thanks to an army of professionals, a hugely expensive dress and a crash diet). 

I must have been described as 'skinny' (which I'm absolutely not, but everything is relative, and I was wearing fabulous corsetry) at least ten times.

A teenaged daughter of a friend said she hadn't recognised me. "Oh, I've lost a bit of weight," I said. "Well yes, but your whole face had changed!" she replied.

I talked to everyone I knew. I remembered their names, and the names of their children (sounds simple, but an impossible feat when drunk, I find). I threw some shapes on the dance floor (dancing sober! Great fun! Who knew?).

I drove home, listening to the BBC World Service, Mr SM snoring, drunkenly, in the passenger seat.

And today, I woke up to a sunny day. Tired but happy. In my own bed. Remembering a great night, when I insulted no-one, managed not to do anything rude or embarrassing, and re-discovered my mojo.

And, just to make it a perfect day, Mr SM has a hangover....


SM x


  1. Sounds fab SM. I bet you rocked that party. Congrats on 7 months as well. I am feeling chuffed that I have almost done 2 weeks. Fri night was a bit of a struggle but as you said distract oneself and the cravings don't last long. How is it that these husbands of ours can just have that 1 or 2 and put the top back on the evil witch of vino!! Anyway - I was able to bounce out of bed at the crack of dawn for a lovely day of activities with the kids - and ooh it felt good to be doing it with a totally clear head. So please keep the advice coming. Keeping me motivated to succeed. From Sober Foxy Mama

  2. Ah I love this post! I have loved ALL your posts, have been following since the beginning. I was the first person to use your private email all those moons ago! I have now taken the plunge. Five weeks in and feeling so clear, in many ways......conscience, skin, get the picture. I am relating more and more with each post, past and present, and am recommending the blog left right and centre. thank you sober mummy, for leading the way and making it all much less scary for others.

    1. I remember you Gill! Well done taking the plunge! You won't regret it, and you've done the hardest but already! Thanks so much for the recommendations. Huge hugs xxx

  3. Thanks for another great post. I'm not doing so well here. Have definitely lost my mojo. Annie x

    1. It's still there, Annie, it's just drowning in booze! Fish it out and give it the kiss of life....

  4. Party sounds fabulous, YOU SOUND FABULOUS!! xxx

  5. I love sober dancing! I use to have to wait till I had the right amount of drinks in me before I would dance. I would actually say I can't dance I'm not drunk enough and guzzle down a drink to help get there. Sometimes the best reason to dance at a party is so I don't have to try to have conversations with a bunch of drunk women! haha

  6. You made me smile. A lot. I am yet to experience sober dancing and partying and dressing up but reading you post made crave all of it.

  7. Ha! SM! Isn't it fabulous! You are the real hero in my book. You've lead the way for us in the virtual world and I couldn't be more grateful.
    I too love parties now. I am actually hosting a party for a get together back in my home town. The place used to be my old hangout with a live band etc...I will surround myself with my original sponsor and many sober friends as well as some that are somewhat normal drinkers.
    I can't wait to dance the night away, have fun, have normal conversations where laughter and confidence abound.
    Right behind you SM, and hope there are many other brave women out there ready to stand up and start for an amazing new life...go girls go!
    Boston Strong/Boston Sober

  8. Yes, the joy of being refreshed when others around you are hung. Sweet....x

  9. Yes, the joy of being refreshed when others around you are hung. Sweet....x

  10. Congratulations on enjoying the party sober. . It sounded AMAZING…. particularly MR SM's outfit!
    I also went to a party on Saturday night but I drank. (For info: I'm following this blog because I'm trying to get out of the habit of a daily drinking). At the party I had about 5 glasses of champagne plus some water. I had a good time, didn't make a fool of myself but I slept SOOOO badly, had an upset stomach and spent all day yesterday feeling crap! That'll teach me!

    1. Have you read unpickled? She has another excellent blog. Worth checking out if you are drinking daily!