Advice for Newbies




Welcome, and congratulations!

The most difficult thing about quitting drinking is making the commitment to do it in the first place. So well done you - you've done the hard bit already. You're about to transform your life.

Here are just a few tips to help you through the first 30 days:

1. Preparation

Getting your head in the right place is crucial. If you start the month with a sense of dread and deprivation you'll never make it.

You are doing an amazing thing. You're changing your life for the better. Be excited!

If that last sentence is just incredibly irritating, and you can't imagine feeling anything like excitement right now, then read Jason Vale's book: Kick the Drink, Easily.

In fact, read it anyway. It'll completely change the way you think about drinking, and make the whole process of quitting much easier.

Write down, right now, while you can remember, all the reasons why you want to stop. The big ones (like health concerns) and all the little ones (like being embarrassed about your recycling bags).

Over the next few weeks there will be many moments when you will think "why am I doing this?" You'll need that list as a reminder.

Join my Facebook page, by clicking here and clicking on 'like'. Every week day at wine o'clock I post inspiration, information or just something funny, because laughter gives you a dopamine hit, just like booze but healthier.

2. Know what to expect

The first two or three weeks after quitting drinking can be physically and mentally gruelling, but it's much easier if you know what to expect, and know that it's all perfectly normal. After years of flooding your body with addictive toxins, it's bound to fight back a bit when you quit.

You will probably feel more tired than you can imagine. By mid afternoon you'll want a nap - like a toddler. You'll feel muggy headed, like you're wading through soup, and your concentration levels will be completely shot.

Don't worry - it'll pass. See it as a sign that your body's recuperating.

Ironically, you may find that you also have problems initially in getting to sleep. Again, this is temporary. Soon you'll be sleeping like a baby - better than you have in years. And no more waking up at 3am with the night horrors.

You might get headaches and/or constipation. That's all part of your body detoxing. Drink lots of water, fresh juices and smoothies.

You may be a bit (or a lot) tetchy and snappy. Like a bad case of PMT.  Try to avoid taking on anything too crucial or stressful over the next week or two.

You'll constantly think about drinking. Or not drinking. And, generally, the more you try NOT to think about something, the more you do.

I found that the best thing to do is to indulge the obsession - at least initially. I read endless books, articles and blogs about drinking. My favourite drinking memoir is Caroline Knapp's Drinking: A Love Story. For great drinking fiction read Girl on The Train by Paula Hawkins, or Summer Secrets by Jane Green.

(To see SoberMummy's Book List click here)

3. Find Some Friends

It's really difficult to quit drinking on your own. You might be lucky and have someone 'in real life' who's doing it with you. The problem with that, however, is if they cave they're likely to take you down with them. And they might not need to quit as much as you do....

Luckily, there's a huge amount of help online - a whole Soberverse!

You can start at the beginning of this blog - back in March - and read through my first few weeks. And sign up to www.soberistas.com or www.joinclubsoda.com where you'll find huge amounts of help and support.

4. Be good to yourself

You are doing a phenomenal thing. And it's not easy. So, for the next few weeks at least, don't try to do anything else. Don't worry about dieting, about getting a new job or redecorating the house. Just concentrate, for the moment, on NOT DRINKING!

Give yourself some rewards - you deserve them. And you're saving money! Eat cake. Drink lots of hot chocolate (it has magical properties - you'll see). Have hot baths with bubbles and candles. Book a massage. Whatever makes you feel good.

5. Watch out for cravings

You're bound to get them, especially at your main trigger points, like 'wine o'clock' or when you're hungry, tired, stressed or bored. Or pretty much anytime, actually.

Remember - THEY WILL PASS. You just need to distract yourself for as long as it takes.

Bake cookies. Or, the more healthy option, do some exercise. Go for a long walk, or a run. Getting away from the fridge or any drinking environment is a good idea.

Have a hot bath. Log onto Soberistas (see above) or your favourite blog. Take up knitting, colouring, the guitar - whatever works.

Find some good alcohol-free drinks. I like something that feels 'adult'. Ribena just doesn't cut it.

My favourite is Beck's Blue beer or Heineken zero. I was never a beer drinker, but alcohol-free beer feels like a 'proper' drink and I'm totally reliant on the stuff to get me through the hard times.

Try Seedlip - an alcohol-free distilled spirit, in three different flavours. Fabulous with a Fever Tree tonic.

Make yourself a simple cocktail, with freshly squeezed lime, chopped mint and soda water.  And I love Virgin Mary's. If you live in the UK then check out Big Tom's. It's ready spiced tomato juice - just add ice.

6. One day at a time

One of the things that freaks us out the most when we think about quitting is the concept of forever. Which is, in the words of Prince, a very long time.

Just don't think about it! For the time being, just concentrate on today. Take one day at a time. Not forever, just until that miraculous day (which will come!) when 'forever' feels not only feasible, but a no-brainer.

Many people (including myself) found that it took about 100 days to start being able to think in months, and six months before you can cope with 'forever.'

7. Wait for the miracles to happen

Just put one foot in front of the other, and you will, slowly slowly, start to see the benefits.

You'll sleep better than you have since childhood. Your eyes will be brighter, skin fresher and hair bouncier. You'll look five years younger.

You'll lose the puffy face and the wine belly. You'll feel calmer and happier.

But the best things about being sober don't happen in the first month. They keep on coming, over the weeks, months and years.

There's loads more about all of this and much, much more throughout this blog, and you are welcome to mail me direct on sobermummy@gmail.com.

To read my story, and for lots more help and advice and, I hope, a few laughs along the way, click here.

Good luck to you all,

SM x

527 comments:

  1. Really helpful tips here. Thanks so much SM. love SFM x

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  2. So helpful thank you! Just passed the three week mark and am going absolutely mad (I think!). I thought it was just me but apparently everything I am going through is NORMAL. Incredibly tired, foggy head, can't concentrate and generally feel like crap! This just started happening a few days ago. I am going to embrace point 3 here and try to find some friends and support online. Thank you again!

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  3. Ohhhh shit....everything about your site, the things I just read are so SO me. Not surprisingly, hubby found it inadvertently as a huge and much grieving Bowie fan. The words you wrote about him moved both my husband and me. He sent a link to this site to me in an email with the remark "I'm interested to know what you think about it". I drink each and every day. I hide it. I lie about it. Sometimes he knows, sometimes he doesn't. But he knows I do. And he now....from reading on your site....knows that this is me. I have made the same promises to myself, over and over again with good intention, but I still go back. I thought I could just drink 'socially' (which is kinda funny since we never socialize with anyone), or just on weekends or just after 5 p.m. Which is a struggle for me as I get off work at 1:30 p.m. and my husband doesn't get off until 7:00 p.m. Those in between hours are my nemesis. I WANT to stop. I TOO have a 'wine belly' and never really admitted that's what it was. 'Beer belly' you hear much here in the US, and I eschewed it because I drank...oh wait...drink...mostly wine and not beer. Beer I drink when I am with my hubby so that I can consume alcohol without judgement. Am drinking wine....hidden in numerous places.... as I write this. :( I know that I have to stop. But I keep doing it. It used to be vodka. Then tequila. Then vodka. Lots and lots. Like trying to only drink half the bottle in an evening. Horrible. Lost jobs, got 2 DUI's. Husband left me. When he did, I was going through menopause and self medicating with yet more alcohol and he tried relentlessly to get me to go to a doctor and get meds for what I was feeling.But then I would either have to lie about my drinking or be honest. BOTH things....as a drinker...I chose to avoid. I simply kept drinking, and he'd had enough. I don't blame him for that. I do blame him for some of his choices and he could have tried to help me and communicate with me more rather than seeking out new partners on line. I blame myself. I BLAME MYSELF. I have never really told him that, and I come from a LONG line of OVER drinkers (you have no idea the hurt
    he caused...physically and emotionally), that's another story...and you know what? As I am typing this I realize....I don't blame him for 'wanting out' as he said...but I will always be hurt by the way he did it. Another story. SO.......long story short ....I need to stop. BUT I still keep drinking....AND I WANT OUT

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  4. I just want to pass the One Day Mark......

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  5. and you have breast cancer. i'm hoping things go well. and i'm shutting up now.

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  6. Hey, Epicmother! Welcome! SO glad you found me (another reason to love Bowie!). You can do it! Just take it one day at a time - baby steps. And don't worry about the cancer thing. I HAD breast cancer, but hopefully all gone now. Big hugs xxx

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  7. I love your blog SM, I've read every single one of your entries since the beginning. You have given me the courage to really believe I can do it this time. I'm going to be 54 this year and to honest I'm not even sure if I will make that milestone without giving up the booze. I'm frightened, apprehensive but totally committed to becoming sober. I've only got 52 hours under my belt so far but I'm excited to be on this journey.

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  8. Thank you SM. You have been truly inspirational to me and today is Day 1. I have made my list. I have had enough. I thought I was going to have a heart attack last night. I have had to take the day off work. Enough. I will no doubt be back for more tips on a regular basis as I hit the first few days head on. Thank you and Big hugs. xx

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  9. Day 5 and going strong! It's funny, I have tried this so many times before with my husband who is also a wine-o-coaster, and he always talks me into caving in. But Ive been feeling crummy for a while now, and a few days ago I got really sick. I didn't even drink as much as the usual 3 liters a night. But I decided to convince myself that the wine is what did it and I simply cannot have it anymore. Kind of psyching myself out to believe I am allergic or something I guess, but it is working! He has been drinking right in front of me and the smell or thought of it makes me ill. NO CRAVINGS AT ALL this time. (usually I can't make it one day). I am so excited to see my brittle dry hair grow long and healthy, to lose that wine belly and to have my skin get back its natural glow that I can barely contain myself. And you are so right about wanting sweets- but I'm ok if I gain a few pounds at first- It'll come back off. one things at a time. Babysteps. thanks so much for the inspiration!

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  10. SoberMummy...I am ready to quit and feel all those amazing benefits and lose the self-loathing and regret that I live with constantly. I want peace and love your blog, very honest and I think it is going to be immensely helpful in this new journey of mine. I am starting to read you blog from Day 1. Congratulations on beating the Cancer, my mom passed after losing the battle over 10 years ago and she was truly my best friend in the world! Cancer is a vicious beast and I'm grateful you conquered that :) Hugs to you and wish me strength to get through day one, day two and forever on!

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  11. Just found your blog - and there is only one way to do that - ie looking for some inspiration. The few entries I've read I completely relate to and your 5 signs are very telling. I am an all or nothing girl but its a lot more all and a lot less nothing. I know where I need to be and I know getting there won't be easy but your words make sense and I now need to make a plan - thank-you for writing these words I have a feeling I'll be reading a lot more of them xx

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  12. I have returned to your blog having found it a few weeks ago. I am not necessarily a secret drinker but a very out of control drinker. I am inspired by your story and I am going to start today. And yes there is a mixture of fear, almost a little bit of grieving to leave my friend behind but a change has to happen and I am going to keep refering to your amazingly inspiring blog - thank-you for being here

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  13. I have been reading this site for a few months and have used all the typical excuses over the summer. At each social scene , or family gathering , alcohol is ALWAYS involved. Not to mention I am the daughter of a long line of relatives that drink on a regular basis. All working and functional alcoholics. Today however, seams different. I feel like I just might get beyond a day or two of sobriety. That's the first step I guess.

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  14. I love love love your blog so much! I am 14 days sober and after two years of back and forth "should i quit, do i have a problem?" bull shit I am finally committed. I feel free, but also very raw. But instead of running from this raw feeling, I am working through it. Thank you for all you do <3

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  15. Dear Clare

    I’ve just finished your book - bloody brilliant. And so funny. Apart from the cancer, obvs.

    I’ve been drinking since 16 and haven’t really had a day off. Last night, dear Hubbie went to bed early and I thought ‘great, an extra bottle of wine and Harry Potter - could life get any better?’ And then I shouted at him this morning for no reason at all - apart from a slight hangover.

    Today, I’m going to try, on one of the most difficult days of the year, to stay sober and, as you say, watch the natives as if in a David Attenborough documentary. As well as working full time, we also run a pub so I’ve put 2 bottles of alcohol free wine behind the bar to make it look like I’m drinking.

    Here’s to a fantastic year and a fresh face, bereft of the bloatedness. Thanks for the book - hope everything goes really well for you and your family. Well done you for putting yourself out there.

    Thanks. Sarah. Xxx

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    1. Good luck Clare! I used to drink every single day, for the last year slowly I have been taking a day off and even now regularly 2 or 3 days off. Yesterday I start my aim to take the whole of January off the booze. also my doctor helped me with alcohol detoxification tablets, they definitely help with the craving, the rest is all will-power!

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    2. Well done. Can you tell me what tablets you had. I keep trying to stop but after a couple of days I cannot cope and end up drinking even more than usual. I am now 65 I really dont know how I am still here.

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  16. Hi. Just through Day 6 and just about to start the ‘october’ chapter of your book.

    Just want, at this stage, to say thank you. I am desperate to quit drinking. As a ‘bottle of wine as day’ at lease, and more on the weekend person who is fast approaching 50, I had began to give up hope of me ever sorting myself out.

    I am miserable, unmotivated, overweight and very under groomed! I’ve only been like this for the last two years since I suffered a career hiccup. Not the end of the world for many but toppled my world off its axis.

    Thank you again, I believe there is a chance I can do this now.

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    1. Well day 7! Had grand plans to achieve so much today but so far all I’ve done is sleep. I am so bone achingly tired. I’m sleeping heavily which is a lovely change, but I’m also sleeping a lot! I hope the energy kicks in soon .......

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    2. Actually I’m ahead of myself. It’s now end of Day 6, not 7. It is however Saturday night, the first Saturday night in living memory where I am alcohol free. Tucked up in bed, teeth brushed, makeup removed, serum applied. I am proud of myself.

      Just finished reading you book. Thank you so much. I recognise so much of myself and my patterns in what you have written. x

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  17. Day 1 was yesterday, feeling positive and inspired by SM ! I too had breast cancer and despite 8 years of anti oestrogen drugs thought wine would help, durrr. I’m embarrassed that I could be so stupid , I feel like I have made a new friend in SM , THANK YOU xxxx

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  18. It’s day 1 ( well actually yesterday was, but I caved in and failed miserably)!after starting your book , which could be written about me ! So, I thought if I comment on here it might help me . Ive cut down before when I wanted to lose the weight I’d gained after breast cancer .Ive just got myself a large glass of sparkling water... it’s getting to a dangerous time of day for me I’m not sure if I want to give up completely, however I do know that I need to stop for a while and then reevaluate my life .

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    1. Good luck, let us know how you are doing x

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    2. How are you getting on? Hope you are done no ok x

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  19. Listened to you on radio2 and thought to myself "She could be talking about me". I'm 43, married with 3 young children. I've been thinking I would like to stop drinking. I've already got hypertension, about 4st overweight and omg a wine belly so bad I could pass as 9 months preggers!
    I think during the week right we'll do something fun with the kids at the weekend and I'll not drink much. Friday comes and as soon as I get in from work I've a drink in my hand. Drink all evening so the next morning get up feeling hungover and crap and can go no where. Saturday repeat it all over. So tomorrow morning is a fresh day and I'm determined to stop. I know I can do it as I never drank while preggers. Wish me luck ��

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  20. Day 9 nearly done and feeling positive. Amazing headache for several days but no quesy tummy or lack of concentration.

    I am shocked how much the alcohol has been affecting me. I was confident that no one would ever know I was drinking too much but now I think if they didn’t I’ve no idea how!

    I am giving up alcohol under the guise of ‘Dry January’ at the moment and people are treating me as though I’m mad. I dread to think what they will say when I carry it on into February. Funny thing is, if I were giving up smoking no one would dream of telling me how mad I was and try to tempt me to smoke just one more. What’s the difference with alcohol and why have we got this strange perception that it is perfectly acceptable/normal to drink every day. I suppose when I was drinking every day it was a convenient ‘out’ then so it works both ways.

    The other big change this week is the recycling - there is no glass recycling! The bin men are going to think we’ve moved out 🤣

    Keep going everyone, I am drawing so much inspiration from everyone x

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  21. Well just embarking on Day 12 and can’t beleive how proud I am of myself. I had a completely mad dream last night about buying a bottle of wine and hiding it from my husband (which I have never done!) and then a comedy of errors followed whilst I tried to retrieve it without him knowing - sure that’s telling me something.

    I am in London today for meetings. I always have a G&T on the way home, especially if it’s Friday afternoon. I know now that I’m not going to do that, not interested.

    The headache has subsided and I am sleeping like a baby. I am still bone achingly tired but it is getting better.

    Have a good day everyone, keep at it x

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  22. It’s day 13 and who knew the 8am on a Saturday even existed! My husband bought me a glass of wine last night, just habit not malice, and I didn’t drink it - I made him drink it. So proud of myself. And we were out in company and everyone looked at me like I’d gone mad. ‘Go on, it’s just one’ ‘ it’s Friday, you deserve it’ ‘it’s been a long week and you are doing so well’. Then I drove home! No waiting for taxis or a lift, no going back today to pick up cars.

    Going to have to work on my smug face, I can see how it would be annoying ☺️

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  23. Well this is it - listened to SM on radio two - cried - ordered the books !! Amazon next day - almost finished ‘kick the drink easily ‘ (have totally changed my opinion on my relationship with wine - it’s definately not my best friend anymore - but like an abusive partner - been totally smitten but blind to its control - my hubby came home to see the books on the table - I told him that I I wasn’t in control of my drinking ( at least a bottle every night and more at social events) I told him I wanted to stop and was gobsmacked as the tears rolled down my face and didn’t stop - was it relief fear whatever it was made me realise just how much my wine was slowly taking over and I Wanted it to stop - so - the books read - my escape plan made - I have carried on drinking while reading my first book - like a battered wife planning to leave her husband - pretend all is ok while quietly plotting and packing ready for a surprise exit - and today’s the day - I’ve tried to find SM’s blog - day one - and found you - step away from the Pinot - your over two weeks into your amazing journey to the field with the bunnies in - you’ve taken out a few high walls and ditches already - im behind you - I hope to catch up - I’ll be at my first high wall in about 3 hours - wish me luck - bloody hell im balling again !!!

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    1. Hi ❤️ well done for getting this far, it’s a huge step. I was gonsmacked too at how strongly I felt about my relationship with wine. At the moment I hate it, it makes me angry, I hate what I have let it do to me and what I have become. It’s like a switch has gone off in my head and I can see what others could plainly see for a long time. I’m putting £10 in a jar for everyday I don’t drink, and I’m going to use it for something really special for myself.

      We can do this, all of us, me & you. It’s massively emotional but believe me, in a much shorter time than you would ever imagine you will feel amazing. I am sleeping like I have never slept before and waking up refreshed - a completely new concept to me!

      Any time you need and rant, cry, laugh or anything I am here xx

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    3. Ooh so exciting- I’m on day two feeling great - I’m sure I’ll hit some hurdles but the book that has done it for me is kick the drink easily by Jason vales - I have realised wine was like a very abusive partner and I’m really bloody angry I didn’t realise sooner - so I have walked out on him - he can knock on my door as often as he wants but I won’t go back to him - I can’t wait to hit my next wall or ditch cos everyone I cross no matter how hard means I’m closer to that bunny field - keep going I’m only one day in front of you xxxxx

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  24. Thanks - I’m having an admin day today and spent most of it reading blogs etc - it’s the first time I’ve posted anything but want to cover every eventuality- I went to a drinks party on Saturday with 6 iof my biggest drinking buddy couples - ( we have even built a fully functioning pub in our back garden !! ) told my gang I was ‘falling out’ with my drinking and had made plans to stop - god you’de think I was going to jump off a cliff - a night of cocktails had to go home early as I was so squiffy and felt crap all yesterday - it was my final fling - finished the last half a bottle of my fav wine last night and everything is in place (I hope) - thanks for responding - I still can’t believe how many of us there are all trapped in the same cycle - see you at the other side of the wall xxxx

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    1. Hi. How’s your evening going. I’ve had a reasonable day but another cracking headache tonight, so 8:45 and I’m tucked up in bed with a hot chocolate ready to sleep it away. The difference is that I know it will be gone in the morning and I’ll feel good - not crap and quesy and fuzzy. Hope you are still feeling strong, you can do it - Day 16 for me tomorrow, I’d never have believed it x

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    2. Well I’m actually thrilled with myself - I’ve had a coupke if whispers in my ear but keep telling it to fxxx off - literally under my breath - no substitute drinks just tea and water - I’m sure it’ll get harder - I’ve got a stressful job and an elderly mum to care for as well as a bloody small holding full of animals - the wine numbs it all so a bit of anxiety- it’ll make me do something to manage it rather than hide behind a bottle ?!?! Feels a bit weird though and my head is banging - day sixteen - wow - can’t wait for it - I feel so strong knowing there are folks like you on the same journey xx thanks - sleep tight

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    3. Hi Searching Sober, just wondering how you are and how you are doing. I’m on Day 21 and so proud of myself ❤️

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    4. I’m great thanks - 3 weeks - amazing - I’m on day 17 - feel like I’m catching up with you now !!! Feeling really good and still strong - got easier this week - at least the headaches gone - and sleeping like the dead - can’t beleive it really ❤️ Thanks for checking - stay in touch xxxx SS

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  25. Day 1 today. Started the book last week and decided 15th January is the day to start living. Only on page 161, as I'm sober this evening and it's only 8pm I'll probably plough through the book. Have been thinking about this for about two years and your book has come along like a gift. I have so many stories like yourself, my favourite one which will forever redden my face with shame was being upgraded to Business class on a flight to LA last year and drinking the free wine dry and vomiting into the business class sink and blocking it and opening the door to a lady waiting outside and her disgusted face when she witnessed the sight �� am mortified thinking about it. Oh well!!!! Today I've been repeating the "Serenity Prayer" to myself and have written my list of why this is so necessary. Won't be ready though to tell anyone until I prove to myself that I can and will do this. My book is hidden to my husband and kids for now. Thank you Clare Pooley (VMG)

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  26. It's VMG again....holy bloody moley...the breast cancer, which I knew to expect from the back of the book but by Christ, you didn't deserve that. I'm on page 238 and you've just recited the serenity prayer which I've been saying all day to myself. Mental!!! I must mention too that I'm so sad about Dolores O'Riordan from The Cranberries dying today. Same age as me. A phenomenal singer and only 46 leaving behind 3 kiddies. Time to start living is right ��

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  27. At the end of day 9 get through tomorrow and will be in double figures...had to swear at the wine witch today soon put her back in her box..my first time ever putting a post on but this is important to me . So very helpful Claire pooley.x

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    1. These comments are really SO helpful - I think my language is destined to get a lot worse as the week passes - but pass it will and now I’ve found a gang all heading in the same direction. - there’s no going back is there !

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  28. Day 3 today. I too have been on at least one bottle of vino a day for quite a while but decided I had to do something after seeing Claire on the Victoria Derbyshire show. Have bought the book and am up to July. The last couple of days haven't been too bad, although I've had trouble getting to sleep. Today, though, the dreaded Wine Witch has returned. I'm trying to focus on all the long term benefits, hopefully I can resist the temptation. Wish me luck !

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  29. End of day four for me now - / hope your reading kick the drink easily by Jason vale !! Yeh last night was very strange - had to fight through wine time but CAN NOT give into the witch - slept like a log after struggling to drop off - today I’ve been on a mad high - been like a woman possessed - cleaning’ working , washed the beddin - and now I’m doing admin I should have done this afternoon while I was gutting my bedroom - had a very strange half hour while making dinner- went all dithery and sick - had an elderflower tonic over ice and shoved some fruit in it - felt fine after that — haven’t hit anythibg insurmountable yet though - one day at a time eh - feeling very determined and still buzzin - hope you sleep well ( eventually) xx

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  30. Day 10 and it’s tough today. Feel sad and extremely tired. At a pity party and overwhelmed thinking about the emotions I am going to have to deal with. I physically am not craving it. But mentally telling myself I deserve a big glass of Chardonnay.

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  31. Day 1 for me again have tried since Jan 4 but failed terribly I want to stop 🛑 I might make myself accountable on this sight every day with a big ✅ and smile 😄🙏

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    1. We are with you every step Looby Lou. Be kind to yourself x

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  32. Check in daily is a good idea. I will try to too. Today was a little better than yesterday. But I have a headache that doesn’t go away. Trying to do something different after work to break my daily pattern. Heading to a thrift store. I know it sounds weird but it helps me

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  33. Thanks Step Away from the Pinot I’m I’m New Zealand so hours are different, I’ll check back in tomorrow 👍🏻

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  34. Sounds like my sister cabincakes she love thrift shops . See you guys tomorrow 💓

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  35. Bought your book last Friday with the resolution to stop drinking the following day... yesterday i bought 5 bottles of wine to get me through the weekend when, then I will finally stop drinking.
    This morning at 3:45 I was reading your book and I nearly got up to empty all those bottles in the sink ... but I did not, well not yet.
    I am now reading the page of your day 47 and I am asking myself if you really went from day 000 to day 047 without touching a drop of vino. How did you manage it ? You do not write about daily temptations and how battle and win them....

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  36. Every minute of the day at this stage there are temptations. I just finished listening to “drinking - a love affair” Caroline Knapp. She is more raw about the emotions. The two books are helping me go deeper. I wish I could dump out the wine but need to know it’s there as a safety net. I don’t know why because I could always get it at the store. Stores are opened 7/24 here and always have a booze department. Big family get together on Friday. Which means drinking. Trying to figure how to be in that situation.

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  37. Checking in 😈✅ 3day I’m doing it and also went to a small music gig drove , Soda lime cranberry, in restaurant ginger n mint cordial, really enjoyed concert, that voice I’m going to call mine ((STING) after just listening to every little thing .... I’ll be watching you , yep fuck of sting cos I’m listening and watching for my wine witch off to work x

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    1. Woo hoo , well done you Looby Lou. Be proud of yourself. Looking forward to hearing from you tomorrow. I’m just getting ready to sleep at end of Day 25, I can’t believe it, it feels amazing I can promise you x

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    2. Awesome 💥 25 x cabincakes if I can go to a Neil Finn( Crowed house gig) and not drink , you can do a family getting together ✨🙏 you will be fabulous sodas lime cranberry ginger ginger beer Becks blue xxx good luck my friend x

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  38. Right on Looby Lou I will do it! Thanks for encouragement
    Day 12 for me. Congrats Step Away. LL and I are right behind you. Talk to u tomorrow

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  39. Read the book. Really liked it and saw myself too - especially the waking in the middle of the night hating myself. I want to stop too but find it impossible with so many "drinking" events coming up; vacations, parties, etc. Kind of scary - I hate that I feel that way... I want to be brave and sober! So I am going to stop and will need your help in this journey. So very happy I found this site. You all are amazing and inspiring! From Lovey.

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  40. Good morning from New Zealand , SA CC LOvEY we are all amazing and can help each other, don’t worry LOvEY when we all realize that the drinking doesn’t have to happen at all the events 💗 and one day at a time Day 4 🙏✅

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    1. Good evening from Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿. Good luck today LL, you can do it 👊xx

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    2. Good evening from Lancashire - searching sober here - can’t send under my name for some reason �� I’m lambing at moment - got 20 sheepies - lost one of my oldest ewes last night and have tried desperately to save her two premature lambs - have always got through lambing time with lots of wine and hot toddies - and wine witch let me have them anytime because it’s all SO STRESSFUL - but 2 days of hard work and heart ache I couldn’t save her lambs but did it all withought a drink - I hope this message finds you cos so many I’ve sent haven’t - well done my friends - we are AWSOME

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  41. Well done SS sorry to here about your lambs😘you’ve FOUND US day 4 afternoon for me hot hot hot here in NZ bbqs etc and telling Sting my wine witch to fuck off thanks SA have a great Saturday all of you ✅🙏⭐️ I promise you I won’t have a drop 💜 how ya doing cc 💜💜💜💗💗💗💗💗💗🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈⭐️

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  42. Today is the day! (I hope anyway). I want this new sober life to start asap.
    Thank you Looby Lou for your encouraging words. From Lovey

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  43. Hey lovey - searching sober here - have you read Claire’s book - I think you have - just keep thinking if that field of flowers and bunnies - I’m 2 weeks into my cross country chase to it - met a few ditches and deep puddles but nothing I couldn’t handle - the wine witch keeps popping up - ( bit like the one in Wizard of oz) I tell her to pxxx off quite often - I’ve lost 6 pounds in two weeks though - and I don’t look as puffy - and get some crazy happy moments specially in the morning - been making the odd non alcohol cocktails too - I keep reading my list of why I don’t want to drink and the benifits I will have by not - it’s a good reminder - my bad luck with my lambs led to friends asking me to call up for wine therapy - eek that was hard cos most don’t know I’ve stopped yet - just take one day at a time you will be SO proud of yourself - good luck - xxxxxx

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  44. Checking in day 5 ✅🙏 every time I get stressed I think of wine 🍷 but have been more happy and healthier in the last 5 days so I’m telling that wine witch to stay right away 👿😈 good luck all 💜

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    1. Hey LL, how are you doing? Great to hear from you. All good here. Just starting Day 28, can’t believe it, never thought it was possible. Busy day ahead, moving house next week 😱

      Good luck all, catch you tomorrow 😘

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  45. Got through two parties this weekend without drinking. Hardly can believe it. . Feels pretty good - sorry to hear about lambs. So proud of both of you and it’s encouraging you all are plowing through no matter what. Good luck

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  46. Searching sober here - Awww moving house SAFTP - that’s an exciting and pretty stressful time - I went to a cheese and wine party with some of my wine buddies and other halves last night and took some homemade mock tails - couple of my ladies cottened on that I wasn’t drinking so I told them the tail of Claire the books and my decision - oh what a mistake - one actually got quite aggressive and spent half an hour justifying her non habit �� and then shoved a glass of wine under my nose and said go on - just have a sniff of that !!!!! Now I’ve got TWO bloody wine witches in my life - �� actually i had a great night and actually found it easier than expected - feeling great this morning and irritatingly perky xxx good luck today everyone xxx

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    1. Hi SS. Sorry, but WTF 🤬 that’s no kind of friend, sounds more like someone in denial to me. I’ve found it’s easier in the long run to say early on I’m not drinking rather than pretend then people just get in with it and I can enjoy my evening.

      We went out for a meal last night and one lady I don’t really know very well took me to one side and said how proud she is of me and I’m her hero! Not sure about that but kind of her to say.

      You enjoy your perky day and think of the wine witch wallowing in her pit with a headache this morning 😙

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  47. Day 1 done - so happy but that wine witch is very persistent! Had to hold her off by being distracted by other things. I also made hot chocolate (haven't had that in years) and it did help too. I know the next few days are going to be very hard. I have to attend several business dinners with my husband. In the past I always had a "dressing drink" before them (and alot during) -- these dinners are a bit stressful. So hopefully I can get through them with a club soda, etc. Agh!
    Thank you searching sober and everyone else with your encouraging words.
    You all are so inspiring. From Lovey

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  48. SS here - just remember EVERYONE at that business dinner will have had a getting ready drink (or 2) and will be very aware of it - you on the other hand will have all your wits about you and be the perfect partner and your hubby will be blown away by your impeccable poise and confidence - you’ll remember to top up your make up and check yourself out when you go to the looe - you will rule that place - go for it xxxx

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  49. LL here Day 6 evening👍🏻 Spent last night camping had a bit of a To-do with hubby In the car (both tired) lucky I had my 💯% no alcohol 🍺 in cooler it helped had a cool time after but a lot of thinking in tent, so glad got all you guys on here. SA sure your house move will go swimmingly deep breath and meditation 🧘‍♀️ awesome CC 2 party’s ✅✅yet to do that. SS good on ya , yep people eh that’s normally jealousy when they do that I bet she wish’s she could give up like U🧚🏼‍♀️, LOvEY Day one whoo hwoooo 👌good on ya✅ Hot choc fabulous and distraction is the way , I think I have to learn that ! Distraction, Good luck for your business dinner you’ll rock! Night night you all 💜

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  50. Ps all, I’m doing the I’m done drinking app it’s qtite cool tell you how many drinks you haven’t had how much money you saved and how many days you’ve been sober for quite helpful oh and how many calories you’ve lost 😃😀 it’s free 👍🏻

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  51. Quick question- ( got the app LL ta ) I set up my blog name but when trying to send it it is not defaultin to name ie searching sober - only option is anonymous then have to prove I’m not a robot etc - any advice

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  52. Mmmm has it got something to do with Google perhaps, and how you first got on the blog , I can remember it was a sign in thing , they are a few blogs as I’m a bit confused, so I leavevthis one open on my safari, this one I think is MWASD advice for newbies , just ask Clare on here I’m sure she’ll know 😘⭐️🧚🏼‍♀️ Day 7 Whoop Whoop good luck 😉 all ✅🙏

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  53. Day 8 evening 🌞✅ good luck all good night 💤

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  54. Searching sober here - woop woop - into the second week now - brilliant - I’m on day 17 - it’s the longest I’ve ever gone without for 25 years - how mad is that - and the first time it’s not just been to prove I can - we’ll i obviously couldn’t !!!!! But feeling really good - and I’ve got a job interview after 16 years with the same company I’m going for something I really want to do now so fingers crossed and on top of all that I’m bringing lambs into the world which is stressful and normally accompanied by hot toddies - so think - if I can do all that without a drink I can pretty much do anything - keep up the good work LL and thanks for checking in xx

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  55. Awesome 👏 SS still at work 2hours to go till finish 9pm 🙃😌 that’s when I want a glass but I’m look forward to my 💯 free alcohol beer he he Day 8 check ✅🧚🏼‍♀️💤

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  56. Hello buddies of the grid 4 days at a meditation retreat 🧚🏼‍♀️🙏 will sign in Tuesday night NZ time good luck allll 💯💜

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  57. this is Lovey - did not do very well at husbands dinner meetings. But didn't go excess - felt pretty good when i went to bed. Still trying to be sober. Will start again today. You all are amazing!!

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  58. Day 5 here. Feeling enormously resentful that my husband has so much FUN drinking with his 'mates' (with impunity). I seem to be at a total loss when it comes to me having fun (or even friends) and I hate social events. Have been round and round on this sober/drunk roundabout for decades. So tired of it.
    Just sayin'.

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  59. Day 35. I have amazed myself, I have tried to quit for approximately 14 years and failed every time. In my last year (2017) I was drinking daily one bottle of wine. My body ached, I was exhausted and I hated myself, something had to change. I did every dry January but never made it to the end, until now and thanks to the help of a book called "28 day alcohol free challenge". It got me in "the zone," as well as the book I started watching Utube and the wonderful people helping us quit the booze, then I bought books, read blogs and that's how I discovered this site. I read all the topics, loved Claire's style of writing, so I bought the book, gosh it was almost like my story, I could relate so much to her (just not with the small children) I read it in two days, it was so motivating, inspirational and real! I only have one disappointment and I am really trying to "keep the faith" till it happens, I'm still tired, I have no promised extra energy, yes I sleep so much better, have no more hangovers but all the other benefits so far have escaped me. My extra stone and a half is still with me too, but I do understand that will take time. I guess when you have drunk for 4 decades your poor body takes time to recover.It's so lovely to find the site and be with people on the same journey.

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  60. Hi 4 day retreat was very interesting lots of the Darma talks do really relate to what I am going through day 14 for me 🧚🏼‍♀️ Well done LOvEY talk tomorrow

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  61. Heh all I’m reading 2books named by Clare,the unexpected joy of being sober;awesome and Jason Vale ; Kick the drink -Easily; interesting, but I see his point totally, might help , LOvEY, have you read them , the Jason Vale one you might relate to ,, ie your dinner party’s 💜❤️⭐️🌈🧚🏼‍♀️ Night night all from NZ 💤

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  62. Evening 14 for me happy but tired, had a glass of alcohol free wine after work nice 👍🏻 haven’t heard from u guys SS CC LOVEY STEP AWAY FOR A WHILE SENDING LOVE AND WOULD LOve TO HERE FROM YOU✳️♻️Xx

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  63. SS Here - been a tough weekend and last night nearly gave in - 3 weeks 2 days - going for new job - second interview Tuesday - looking after my elderly mum lambing and dealing with my 28 yr old son who hates his step dad at moment so MADSIVE elephant in room at home - urgh - so wanted to drown it all out with a wine bender - wine witch was on me - shouting her head off about how it would make it all go away and how much I needed and deserved to let myself go for just one night - well - held it together - JUST - glad your doing well LL - last night I hit a high wall and made it over - Jim sure we’ll all hit a few on the journey to bunny land - ��

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  64. Oh so proud of you SS you strong 💪 woman awesome, yep here’s to rocking roads to Bunny 🐰 land 💜❤️⭐️🧚‍♂️ —— day 16 hell’s bells sending love and heart

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  65. Oh dear bit of a disaster weekend quite funny really and at this present moment I’m feeling quite positive 🌈 which again is funny , short story went on a meditation weekend, thought it was a bit of a con overpriced and all he did was repeat everything for 2 whole mornings so I did a runner and got home yesterday afternoon, feeling mad sad annoyed dissatisfied disappointed etc got 2 bottles of wine and drank most of them , 18 days 😣 before but that’s done and poured the rest away and now I start I’m not getting my nickers in a twist about it or going to punish myself I’ll just start a lovely day here in NZ and work on the reason why I felt the need to drink the wine after the frustrating weekend 😲🙄 sorry don’t mean to sound all hippie etc 🤡💜❤️ Sending love and hugs to all out there hope everyone is going well

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    1. Sorry been out of touch, had a complete collapse off the wagon. Moved house, husbands best friend and grandmother pared away and his head is shot. I couldn’t cope with it all myself - especially when trying to convince the rest of the world I’m fine. He’s been out watching the rugby, don’t know when he will be home. I’m looking after his son.

      So ashamed of myself, I loved being sober and I am going to try to get back straight- nearly two bottles down tonight tho. Sorry guys 😥

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    2. Don’t be sorry tomorrow is another day let’s say me and you ,,me today you tomorrow we’ll start again together, don’t be ashamed we are Human ❤️, let’s love being sober together, you’ll need to be strong and clear headed to support your husband so WE CAN DO IT , just let’s do it ❤️❤️

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    3. Oh mate - so sorry buts it is bloody hard work - just been out for an Indian with a gang - god I was bored and so bloody bad tempered . I need to know if it really does get easier cos I’m feeling pretty pissed off at the mo -

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    4. Thank u guys, feeling sorry for myself tonight but want to be back on the wagon tomorrow, I feel so sad x

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    5. Hi Looby Lou and Step Away! I'm so sorry, I've only just seen all the conversation on this post. I'm sorry you fell off the wagon, but please don't beat yourselves up - it's all just part of the learning process. Just remember how it happened and how it made you feel and it will make you stronger and more resolute next time. You can do this! Mail me on sobermummy@gmail.com if you want to chat. Love Clare x

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    6. Thanks Clare , yep we can carnt we step away , checking in ✅🌹🌺💗💙

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  66. I feel sad hungover scared now that it’s 8.15pm haven’t had anything to drink don’t want to I feel like shit and unhappy 18 days then 2 bottles not to positive now but tomorrow is another day ❤️ hope you have a good day Step away xx

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  67. Miserable with it miserable without - so choose the one that’s better for you and except we’ll be miserable but proud and healthier - we can only hope it doesn’t last forever xxxxx

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  68. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again (and don't quit trying before the miracle happens! It will.)

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  69. Yep thanks we will succeed day 2 🌹🌈 Big love to all

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  70. I am on day 8 of sobriety. Your book was the first one I read as I began this journey and I sure am glad I ordered it on my Kindle. You are a true inspiration. I read the entire book in a day and a half and refer back to it daily when I’m struggling with the wine witch. I have never ever posted on a blog before but your Blogs have also helped me through my first 8 days and I’m sure they will help through many more. So thank you SM for sharing your story. It has given me a lot of strength and courage to get sober.

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  71. Awesome Anonymous, I’m checking in on day evening on day 🙏4 sending love , a mistake took my 20 sober days back to one but I’m here and learning from situations 🦋💚 Happy valentines beautiful ladies out there would love to here from you SS, SA CC LOvEY you out there guys xx

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  72. Thank you Looby Lou. I was so excited to awake this morning and have a response. Good luck to you I’m this Valentines Day.

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  73. Hi kindsobet - searching sober here - welcome to the blog - I’m on day 31 - had a few witching hours but I’m feeling great - sleeping like a log and starting to look better - good luck with you journey to that lovely field with the bunnies- I’m not that far in front of me - see you when we get there xxxxxx

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  74. Day 6 night night 😊🙏✅

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  75. YEY - LL you rock - so SO impressed you bounced back up - just need STEP AWAY back - come on mate xxxxxxxx

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  76. Heh thanks SS YEP Day 7 feel great how r u doing, I’m having 0 alcohol wine for a hold and a glass when I’m sitting after work , I think it’s the big stress/angry thing for me ie think I need the booze,so I’ll just had to keep a huge eye 👁 on that , Where r u step Away come back xx

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  77. Day 15 for me. You inspired me to start a blog, I'm not sure if there will be much point to it but at the very least it will hopefully help connect me to other sober people.

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  78. Hi SM and everyone. As a very long term drinker of white wine of which chenin and sauvignon are my poisons of choice, it's time. I now know that my 'besties are only out for themselves. They call to me from the kitchen and i am always powerless to resist their allure.
    I'm some way through your amazing funny but accurate book and I'm actually relieved to find there's not just me.
    I go to bed pissed and wake up defeating myself. Like The Fine Young Cannibals queried 'What is wrong in my life, I must get drunk every night's? I have nothing to escape from apart from a fat body, swollen boobs, reddened face, the eyes of an old person and the bank account of of a church mouse. Not to mention the depression... I never knew about the goddamn dopamine effect. Thought it was to do with Tom Kerridge! So no amount of sertraline is going to help me.
    I thank the universe for you SM my angel!
    I need lots of help and support
    I will be starting my voyage of sobriety on Monday
    Love & light xx

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  79. Hi EG - I remember saying the same thing 5 weeks ago - I feel so empowered now - sometime wine witch make me think I’m missing a trick but last night was the first I really didnt miss it - I had a becks blue while preparing a lovely meal - then my cocktail of choice - two fever tree tonics over ice - the juice of two limes - and a slug of grenadine syrup - GORGEOUS- had a lovely night and got up this morning HAPPY - didn’t wake at 3 am reaching for my pint of water with shaking hands and hating myself - go for it - embrace every minute - climb each ‘wall’ - see you in bunny land xxxxxxx

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  80. Lovely SS, so true EG, I’m swallowing myself, in all info books , just reading Jason Vale kick the drink, so interesting how the world perceives alcohol I do believe it is a poison and eventually I will be like smoking not permitted ( not trying to be a goodie 2 shoes) I had a bad experience 9days ago and drank nearly 2 bottles of wine, I didn’t achieve anything and I new so well had a hangover didn’t punish myself to much but brought the realization that no I cannot stop a 3 drinks and what have I solved absolutely nothing. So 9 days today feels great lost weight energy happy confident, I am taking a few vitamins and minerals to put back into my body and I think they’ve helped, have to sa SS I’m not missing it at all yep O % alcohol beer , Wine is nice YES cooking lovely meals with a glass , I’m going to get some Genadine and try your cocktail SS, Just staring my day here in NZ , oh and going to gym Cos I’ve actually got the energy and feels good , see you guys in the Bunny fields,SS EG where are you step away💜 cabincakes big 🤗 hugs

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  81. I bought this last lot of grenadine but looking at the bottle it’s full of crap !!! I made my first lot by boiling pomegranate juice till reduced by at least two thirds - like a loose syrup cool it then just a glug in your drink - it’s gorgeous but I’m afraid fevertree is now the only tonic for me it’s also good with the elderflower one - non alcoholic wine is just vile - I bought some chocolate syrup too going to experiment with expresso martini virgin style - let you know how it goes xxx

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  82. And by the way my hubby likes the odd G& T and when he tasted my drink last night was convinced there was gin in it - my drinking buddies also wanted one when we went out last week - most cocktail bars have grenadine tonic and lines so happy days - I serve it in a big gin bowl glass xxx

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  83. Good morning all day 11 conquered last nights bad mood 😒 without the 👿 Happy days big hugs

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  84. Morning LL - I remember the 10 day thing - and around 3 weeks was really hard - I’m 36 days in and for the last week hardly even thinking about it - I’m amazed - claire said week 46 is a bitch - I remember reading that and thinking ide never make it that far - felt like s million miles away - I nearly caved around 26 days - I hit a massive wall but it just feels so normal now - just get past day 30 - it feels amazing - I would have given in if I hadn’t posted on this that bad night - so if you hit that wall post a message straight away - I’ll keep my eye out for you - keep going - you’re doing great 👍 we are awsome xxxx

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  85. Thanks SS just off to sleep tired and a little grumpy just exercising and working hard 😒 not craving the wine but thinking a little but will not give in this time I am drinking the non alcoholic wine which is nice but I’m probably drinking to much if that he he night 😴

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  86. 14th night 🦋🍀👍🏻🧚‍♂️

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  87. Ooh amazing LL - chuffed your still here - happy days xxxx

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  88. Glad u r 2 SS 🧚‍♂️ 15th night Whoop x good night all good luck 😉 see u soon x

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  89. Missing you guys, struggling to know how to get back in the gang 😢

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  90. Your back in the gang 😁😄😃😀😻Whoop Whoop great 2 here u Step away💜 Day 16 🍀 just off for a treat massage well not quite as they go hard 😉🙃😌

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  91. Heh SS SA, Massage great, but I’m struggling tonight irritated have drunk 2/3 of 0% non alcohol wine 🙃🙂 not going to drink alcohol but I’m unsettled tonight I’ll watch tv 📺 8.16 pm NZ time talk in the morning ⚡️✨🧚‍♂️

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  92. Well...not quite in the New club yet but Saturday is my day 1 ��

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  93. I’m still struggling , I want to be better. Can’t believe how strong I felt in January and how it’s gine wrong since. Lost track of you friends, hope you are doing ok. I want to be back on my game xxx

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  94. Yep 👍🏻 glad your all back I drank a bottle on Wednesday, husband out just thought I was being clever but I don’t believe punishing myself I did 20 days the another 20 days so I can do it I must remember how shitty it makes me feel the next day and thinking only have 1 2 3 just don’t I drink the bottle anyhow busy weekend friends staying bbq and it’s funny I not bothered about drinking alcohol I want to be how I am when I don’t Happy singing lots of energy see things clearly good conversation, I will check in ever night and hope to see u guys 🦋 SS SA ANON

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  95. Miss u guys please come back and let’s support each other 💪😘⭐️🙏🌞

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  96. I miss you all too, just struggling at the moment and don’t want to bring you guys down with me to. So sorry. Want to get back on it. I’m not drinking as much as I was but I haven’t stopped either. Very disappointed in myself 😥

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  97. Don’t be disappointed SA if your not drinking as much well that’s great , me to because I stopped for 19 then 20 days and had a bit of wine , it’s goid to talk 💕🎼

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  98. Ooh I’ve missed lots of chat - been mad busy but still off the stuff - Oh don’t blame yourself SA I’m on 47 days and I’ve had my moments of trauma - I had two glasses of wine one night when I had to stay away from home with work - didn’t enjoy it then shit myself in case I was on it for good again - won’t fall for that again - I’m hooked on my gin free g&t and get totally cross if I’m out and they don’t do decent tonic but I really do feel amazing - don’t give the booze the credit for it’s power - if you slip up it doesn’t mean it owns you again - this falling off the wagon crap I believe is a bad mindset - it’s like dieting - you can give in and pig out on a takeaway- but if you hate yourself for it you end up comforting yourself with a cooked breakfast the next day and so it continues - it doesn’t matter just take each day as a new one - one hour at a time till the good long term stuff outways the quick fix of a drink - I feel so much better and I’ve lost 10 pounds and everyone says I look great (don’t know bout that though) we get a new start new day 7 times a week and 365 days a year - I really believe that if you can get to 30 days that’s when it gets easier it did for me - I remember Claire in the book talking of the 46 day wall - bloody hell - it seemed so far away - I had to check how long it had been before I wrote this and it’s day 47 and I didn’t notice - BONKERS - come on guys I’ll save you a picnic blanket in that field of bunnies and make you delicious mocktails with umbrellas and EVERYTHING!!!!!!! AND NEVER START AGAIN AT DAY ONE - that wine I had wasn’t me falling off anything I just had a moment of weakness - vyou just had a slip up - continue the journey xxxxxxxxxx

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  99. I’ve just read back to when I really did nearly lose it proper and it was 21 days - LL - you had your moment of weakness day 19 & 20 - at 30 days I felt really strong - maybe we need to be ready for week three - if anyone starting out be all over this blog at day 20 - if your struggling leave a note on this - I did and it stopped me cos I didn’t want to admit ide lost it when someone responded - when I had those two glasses of wine I had planned it - I decided on the way I was going to ‘indulge’ - at day 21 it was pure craving and addiction if id have gone for it that night would prob still be on it CIA’s I would have believed it was all just to hard - the last one was choice - I didn’t need them and it was like I was testing myself - stupid when I think about it but think that might have been a VERY clever last attempt from the wine witch - she’s very quiet these days though - the odd very weak poke - it seemed to me it would never get easier that I wanted someone to say at day ? It will all be gone - I think day 30 is the day - the struggle stops and it just becomes a very manageable niggle xxxxx stay strong my friends !!!

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  100. Oh well I’m a cock, got friends to stay first night all good then party lots of booze hungover today and did wine tasting at wineries yep used the alcohol to loose up for party at my house hosting 15 people didn’t loose Control but wish I hadn’t drunk and today liked being fit fun and no hangover , so I start again tomorrow I’m do feel I’ve let u girls down and myself, I should be stronger and not to peer pressure to drink not that there was any and husband very supportive of the no drinking,,,, any how great stuff u to SS SA and I will check in tomorrow

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  101. Yep SS I’m not getting to 30 am I I will this time x

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  102. You guys are amazing. I have no idea who you are or where you are but you are fabulous. I’m not completely in the doldrums but feel like I’m heading there . You guys are my Indiana Jones with the rope to save me. I’m not quite at the picnic yet but I am in my way. Hope you can stick with me and I can help you in some strange way ❣️X

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  103. Just this is helping SA we will all stick together 💕

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  104. Thank you. I’m very sad tonight but sober (so far). Think my husband might have someone else. He’s asleep and just stirred and said someone else’s name. Someone he has said before is ‘ the one that got away’. I am lost

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  105. Ok now the bestest thing in the world is not to drink,,, that will make things all muddled confusing and so hard to handle,,, you don’t know the truth so get on the phone to someone Family friend work friend and get to talk to some one , talk to someone please SA and keep on here Do not Drink please think of clear clean head space , sending love hugs 🤗 get advice from a best friend see what he/she thinks 🌸⭐️💕 will check back with you in my morning New Zealand 🇳🇿 time hang in there xx

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  106. How’s everyone going,friends out last night and I had a very busy work day and had a vodka and 4 wines ok I’m not feeling horrible I just don’t want to drink, so I’ll work on that again sending love hugs SA SS❤️💗

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  107. Hi I need you guys I started leaking in the wine last few days after our friends staying, why do I do it I’m sat here now drinking red wine (husband away) went to the local shop got two bottles, heh I’m happy, happier when I felt great come back SS SA , hope your ok SA xx

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  108. Hope everybody’s ok sending love n hugs

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  109. Interested to find out if any of you guys have used or thinking of using Naltrexone? It can be used to help drink in moderation but also to help to quit completely

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  110. Purchased your book on Saturday and have not put it down since, I'm ready to quit but need to put the intentions into action (which i'm finding hard and there seems to always be an excuse). I can draw far too many comparisons to the things you have shared. It's a great read and a real eye opener - thank you. I've been pandering to the wine witch for too long!

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  111. Hi there folks, come on we can do this, I'm on days 3 after doing 32 and then a blip another 17 then a blip, the stopping gets harder each time as SM said it would but I'm definitely going to do it this time. I felt so much more positive, happier, slept well, lost weight, and gained time that I'm going to succeed. My problem is gin - wine I'm not missing so I need a go to for gin but don't want to go down the route of an exact replacement- was having soda with ginger cordial which did the trick. This weekend is going to be difficult a big family get together all weekend, but I'm going to drive so that's my reason for not drinking. I will be reading this page each day so come on folks we can do this for SM XXXXX

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  112. Hi Mary58 I’m on day 4 again after about 4 bips 7-22 days this time 💜🤩 so I will read this page everyday they were some fab girls SS cc sa Anon on here and I don’t know where they are 💥🌈 we can do this Mary58 I live in NZ so opposite time to you checking in 7.20am he he in the 🛀 bath as going out for the day to a show wanted a soak as a sore back I stand all day for my job 🙀, see you tomorrow xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  113. I am still here but struggling a bit. Not as bad as I was but not completely sober. Feeling a bit useless but determined to get this shit under control. If I go for Day 1 again tomorrow are you behind me ladies 🙏🏻

    Love you Looby Lou for sticking with me 😘

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  114. Hi Looby Lou, day 4 is brilliant, ok so today is difficult day for me at my parents and will be celebrating my dads 90th birthday tomorrow with all the family. But I'm driving so will not be drinking, things are falling apart at the moment, 2 Aunts passed away both 83-85 so good age but cancer . It brings home to you what we need to do to keep going. We don't need this poison in our bodies - let's keep each other going xx ������

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  115. Saftp , yes we r with you for day 1 again, we can all do this for SM , she deserves us to succeed after all her hard work and confidence that she has. Come on girls don't let us down 🤗😜🤓😚😌

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  116. Whoop whoop SA MARY , yes yes yes course with with ya x all the way and I really do believe that we don’t need this poison in our bodies I’ve been reading and watching stuff I do believe it’s poison ☠️ good luck Mary for the party 💜and have a good 💜 sat SA

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  117. Hi there, I hope you are all hanging on in there, I can SO feel your pain and determination. I am now on day 8 after having various blips including going a fab 61 days sober then spectacularly falling of the wagon and I binge drank for a good few days and hated myself and the hangovers too ��. It reinforced to me that I just can't do moderation, it's all or nothing and nothing has to be the way. Hope you don't mind me joining your little group as I don't have much support. My friends just don't get it and say I'll be ok if I just drink at weekends or on special occasions...
    Good luck and Happy Easter everyone x

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  118. Hi Maggie I know what you mean about falling off the wagon, you did brilliantly with 61 days, keep hanging in there I’m not doing too well this weekend I knew it would be hard but went back to g and t yesterday!! So today the 1st April is my new day 1 ���� Happy Easter �� x

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  119. Hi SA MARY MEGGIE, day 5 night for me I’m struggling had 1/2 bottle of Alcohol free wine had to go to my friends to get it I’m determined but hard agitated in bed now trying to watch tv I’ll be good but I need your support please ladies xxxxx

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  120. Hi Mary you did good I’m trying to hang in 1st Apri night night happy Easter 🐣

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  121. Hi Looby Loo, well done hanging on in there with the alcohol free wine, just keep reminding yourself it will be worth it especially as no hangover. You will wake up feeling brilliant and proud and thank yourself for being so good. Stock up on the alcohol free stuff and binge drink it if you get the urge to drink, it sometimes kills the cravings. And Mary, it's a new day, a new start? Go girl!! It'especially hard during the holidays isn't it, I've become a hermit. Here's to us, we CAN do it xxx

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  122. Good morning all😊 day 6 yes thanks MEGGIE I will stock up on the AF wine in a bit of a tiss last night, was thinking when we are drinking it dulls our mind, so when we are alive an d NOT drinking we have to deal with our thoughts and emotions, and put to good use and just do something else to distract US of course we all know and Been told millions 🚦Hang in Mary58 and SA💜 lets all get to MEGGIEs 61 days and continue love 2 all x

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  123. Hi all, well done LL getting to day 6 and here's to all of us getting to day 61 and beyond. God that would be nice. Hope you are all doing ok and are hanging on in there xx

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  124. Hi all hope your all going strong with AF I’m doing ok, will be back home tomorrow so it will be easier without the temptation, have lots going on at the moment that will hopefully keep me strong. If I’d kept AF I’d be at Day 75 now I can’t believe I was so weak willed when I felt so good ��. It just shows how strong the wine witch is or in my case the gin witch as I call her. Happy Easter �� Monday all xx

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  125. Hi all, well it's a bank holiday and normally we would be having a meal in the pub with a good few vinos all afternoon. Instead I'm at home drinking strong coffee, eating cake, bored and trying not to think of alcohol. Thats gutting Mary that you would have been on day 75, you have obviously done a good stint AF before so I'm sure that with sheer determination you can do it again. New day, new start, good luck.
    Hope you are doing ok Looby Loo and here's to us all fighting off the gin/wine witch xx

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  126. Hi all sorry 😐 to tell u I drank a bottle of red wine last night no excuse husband away bored and naughty, and it tasted horrid but watched tv and drank oh and went to corner shop and bought another one ( didn’t drink) so I have to be nice to myself that I didn’t drink that , so no punishing myself but why oh why do I do it Day 1 again sorry 😐

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  127. Hey Looby Lou, you're right not to punish yourself, these things happen and at least you didn't drink the second bottle, well done for that. I can so sympathise, I slipped off the wagon when my hubby was away for a few days, I drank a bottle of wine each night plus a few G and T's just to get really drunk. Again, why? It's the bloody wine witch that's why!☹
    Can you start afresh today as a new day 1? We are supporting you, you CAN do it. Stay strong xxx

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  128. Thanks feel like crying but love u all xx

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  129. Why do we want to get drunk 😵 I’m in a funk 😒 but thinking oh why not BUT I DONT WANT TO ‼️

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  130. We drink coz we are addicted to it and those first couple of glasses give us that lovely warm feeling and takes our worries away... or so we think. If only we could stick at say 2 glasses but we can't. Well I can't anyways!! How are you feeling now, guess it's the evening there, worst time of day for us drinkers. I hope you are feeling ok, thinking of you and please don't feel sad x

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  131. Hi LL don’t cry �� you’ve done great before and you were strong enough not to drink the other bottle. I’ve found soda water lime and ginger cordial is a great drink to have when your feeling like you need one. Maggie got through last night going home today after a long and trying weekend which I knew it would be. Have a good day xx

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  132. Thanks for the drink tip Mary, off to buy some soda, lime and ginger cordial later. How are you coping on the alcohol front, hope everyone's ok xx

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  133. Thanks so you guys , 8.00pm now worked till 7.15pm was struggling at 6ish but ok now had a cuppa and hot water bottle 😉 husband back tomorrow x poured the other bottle away this morning ❗️No I don’t feel sad hope you guys are good yep I am happy to start day one again, and it really helps me if I’m reading the books recommendations from sm etc night night have a good day ladies, where are u SS 💜

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    1. Glad you made day 1 ok LL and here's to day 2 tomorrow. You're right, keep reading the recommendations helps. I've just re-read the advice for newbies and although I hardly feel like a newbie lol I guess it does reinforce what we are going through and how bloody hard it all is xx

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  134. Hi LL and Maggie, I’m going to read advice for newbies again, so today is my VERY CERY last Day 1, yes I gave in last night had 2 glasses of wine interestingly I thought I’d have a g and t but when I poured it out it tasted YUK, so tipped it away. Going to get back into my am meditation which has helped me so much before and if I feel a craving a 5 minuet on in the day. If I’m out I go to the loo and listen to it it helped do so much last time. Let’s keep each other going xx

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  135. Hi LL and Mary, well done Mary for chucking the g and t, hasn't gin been your weakness before? And 2 glasses of wine isn't TOO bad. Just remember if you can get to day 2 and then 3 it gets a little bit easier, it's often breaking that routine of drinking every day that's the hardest. Well it is for me anyways. You've done it before so I'm sure you can do it again. Go for it. I've re-read the newbies stuff and have started drinking loads of soft drinks around the witching hour so I feel so bloated I can't think of fitting any alcohol in, lol!
    What meditation do you do, that sounds a good tip. Keep strong, we CAN do it xxx

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  136. Hi Meggie, I use Headspace each morning and Simple Habit during the day if I need it and then at night. Yes having soft drinks does fill you up, I'm now working till 5.30 so by the time I'm home and cooking dinner its 6.15 hoping I will be to bust to think about drink. Yes gin was my weakness, I've also re read my diary I started in January when I first stopped. It's given me the umph I need, interesting reading my thoughts each day back then. I got a nice sparkling note book and write a bit each day on how I feel. Take care xx

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  137. Good morning all🌝 day3 am feeling good hope all you guys are ok 👌 here’s to another sober free day 💜

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  138. Hey, good to hear from you both. Thanks for the meditation app info Mary, will give them a go. And I might try writing down my thoughts too, good plan. How long have you gone AF for in the past? Hope you are still hanging on in there. And great to hear from a very positive sounding Looby Lou, go girl! I'm doing ok but am already dreading a social event at the weekend. We're going to friends who are heavy drinkers and we normally have a bucket load of gorgeous cocktails. I don't think I can face having to explain/defend my sobriety, think I will just play the anti-biotics card or say I'm on strong painkillers. Think sometimes it's easier to host then no-one knows what you are drinking so can't judge you!! Take care and stay strong and sober��xxx

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  139. Hi there, my longest AF on the past has been 32 days this year although last year I had lots of days when I didn’t drink usually about 4-5 in a row then I’d have a drink. Today is day 3 and I feel great- it helps that the sun is shining, how about you both how long have you gone? Saying on antibiotics is a good idea then you don’t need to explain anything. Have a good day xx

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  140. Hi,well done getting to day 3 Mary �� and glad you are feeling great. In the last few years I have probably had very rare stints of a week or so when I haven't drunk but I was in a really bad place last year and was drinking a bottle of wine pretty much every day, more at weekends. And the odd day I didn't drink I felt stressed and anxious around 6pm it was horrible. I managed 61 days this year, did dry Jan and managed to carry on and felt absolutely great, thought I was in control but then fell off the wagon spectacularly. Makes me wonder if I will always be this fragile and at risk of re-starting, I clearly can't drink in moderation even after a couple of months AF. Good plan, I will go with the anti-biotics excuse this weekend and hopefully they won't be nosey and ask what's wrong with me! Have a good AF evening everyone (or morning for those in NZ) xxx

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  141. Will have to do something different I think 🤔😔sorry bottle and a quarter feel like shit this morning 😪

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  142. Oh pants Looby Lou, what are we going to do with you?!! You were sounding so positive yesterday. Sorry to hear you are feeling rubbish and I really hope you can pick yourself up and start again soon. You know you can do it, you have to. Please stick with us on this sober journey ❤
    Must say I really am wondering how I can contemplate a life without alcohol, it seems so darned DULL!! Missing stupid things like all the hysterical laugher with friends about things that aren't even funny, etc etc. I'm sure that it will be worth it in the long run but I'm just finding life without alcohol bloody boring right now. Hey ho. I really hope that you feel better soon LL and that you can give AF another go. Then we can be bored together �� Can you down a few alcohol free beers to take the edge off next time? I bought some ginger cordial, lime, mint and soda water and it depressed me even more, lol, but am finding Becks Blue is ok. Thinking of you and please don't be too hard on yourself. Today is a new day xxx

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  143. 6pm for me MEGGIE is bad I had a great day yesterday working I’m a Hairdressing have my own salon at home have awesome (I’m crying now talking 3 u girls) clients lovely interesting talking to them and making them beautiful, so instead of having a nice night (husband away again) he’s very supportive and now knows that I carnt just have to ! I’m lucky I know I am !!!!!!!!, I went and got wine finishing that last client I suppose I have to be honest the wine witches started talking 😡😡😡😡

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  144. That’s the thing the next day I want to be alcohol FREE , I just know the more I drink the more I want and the future seems no good , but I can seee the better future with NO alcohol in it xxx sorry if that makes sense I thought I could do it , I do want to be with u girls on the journey defo because of my reading etc I can see the sober life and it doesn’t scare me as clear minded focus being happy seems lots more fun than grit and hungover, I think truly that I want that relaxed alcohol brain thing and supposed that to forget and less stressed and know that the AF stuff won’t give me that 😾I need to be strong and do something else to distract me ,,,thanks girls I feel as I’m being selfish me me me it’s all about me he he , yep today is a new day xxxx

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  145. Jason Vale Kick the drink..easily awesome

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  146. Hi again LL, well you sound like you have bounced back well and want to be alcohol free, let's do it! We all know deep down that we will feel much better being sober, it just scares me the thought of never ever drinking again. But I know I can't do moderation as I don't have the willpower, I'm all or nothing. I'm on day 11 so should be happy but am missing my Sauvignon Blanc buddy but we all know she isn't a buddy at all��
    Of course you aren't being selfish, we are all here to let off steam and hopefully pull each other through this bloody minefield and rollercoaster of emotions as we drag ourselves into this sober lifestyle. I will try and be more positive tomorrow when I wake up feeling fine and not hungover, just found it hard tonight and a bit depressing about facing this sober lifestyle forever. I KNOW it's the right decision but I'm so BORED!!!!
    Is there anything you can do at that horrible 6pm time, maybe get out of the house and do something to take your mind off alcohol? Exercise? Go shopping?
    Take care and I hope you are hanging on in there too Mary. And I'm hoping you will message tomorrow saying you have made it to day 4 �� xxx

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  147. I stopped 10 years ago for over 6 months- I kick myself that I started again- I can’t even remember why I did- but I again totally trapped in a cycle of self loathing, promising myself every morning that I won’t drink and 5pm happens, hubby walks in the door and we walk straight over the road to the pub. I’m sick of it- I feel crap this morning- I’ve been really good lately with my fitness, swimming several miles a week- but since Easter I’ve been ONCE as I’ve been feeling so rubbish. I really want to stop now- I’ve tried telling hubby but he doesn’t seem to see it as a problem, or says “just cut down”- I don’t want to give up my social life- I just want to be able to walk in a pub and not order an alcoholic drink and not have the whole place turn around in stunned silence and start asking questions. My skin is looking awful, I’m puffy and red, I’m thinking of saying Ive signed up for a research trial and it involves not drinking for a while..,,,,

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  148. I hear u unknown, 7.53pm(NZ) I’m in bed feeling crap hungover made it through the day after drinking a bottle and a 1/3(Tipped the rest out this morning Meggie Mary!😊, feeling sorry for myself my day 1 I’m sticking with the 2Ms and we r going to journey to the field of bunnies 🐰 I stick and tired of it all , wasting all this valuable time join us night night girls hope all well here’s to sober 💜

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    1. Keep those thoughts in your head- try and have a good sleep, and at least you have done a day 1!! I’m not sure deciding that Friday morning is the wisest choice for me but there will always be a weekend, a celebration, a “I deserve it” excuse- so I’m going to try my best- at least this way I dont have to get through being good all week and dread the first weekend!! I’m throwing myself straight in!!! Sweet dreams x

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  149. Hi folks, well it’s day 3 for me today and I feel great, cycles this morning and sat on a style and chilled , thought of all the positive things being AF gives us. Wrote them on a note on my phone so I can read whenever I need to. Let’s all keep going it tratos better without drugs in your body xxx ☀️

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  150. Well done Mary and keep reminding yourself of all the positive things being AF gives us. We all know it's the right thing for us in the long run, just SO bloody hard!! I exercise a lot and it's so much easier and I enjoy it much more when I don't have a hangover or feel groggy, funnily enough! And LL I hope you wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world and here's to your new AF start.
    And go for it unknown, sounds like it's all or nothing for you, we are with you! Must say the weekend is a hard time to start the AF journey but there's never an easy time to start really is there? It has to be today I guess. That sounds a very hard routine to break, going to the pub every day but it sounds like you really want to stop. We all do don't we, that's why we're here.
    I'm still dreading my social event tomorrow, wrestling with myself already as to whether I will drink. I SO don't want to but the thought of going without just seems so boring and I keep getting this voice in my head telling me a couple won't harm....but of course it won't just be a couple. More like a couple of bottles, lol! Hang on in there everyone xxx
    Ps LL what's with the fields of bunnies?!! ��

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  151. Morning all yep feeling refreshed, am so glad as my tummy was sore last night,,, SM mentions field of bunnies to think about when w r going through our journey MEGGIE 😊 heh your strong don’t stress about weekend just order a nice lime carnberry sofa yum and you will be great, read Jason vale kick the drink , it makes lots of sense, well done day3 Mary hang in the unknown speak later guys have a good sleep xxxx

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  152. Good luck over the weekend everyone and I'm looking forward to seeing you all in the fields of bunnies �� xxx

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  153. Sure thing MEGGIE MARY ANON 😘

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  154. Well I have to confess- I didn’t do all that well!! 4 glasses - I woke up at 3am (obviously) but I then lay and read the other half of Clare’s book (she writes how I speak and think so I’m sure we would get on!) I now understand about the bunnies!! Also, I can totally relate to the joys she discovers, as I mentioned previously, I once gave up for 6months 10 years ago and it was liberating! I felt like superwoman! I can’t even remember how or why I started again, but a ride on an electric bike after visiting two country pubs resulted in a dislocated ankle, badly broken leg, surgery (twice), and a week in hospital- followed by nearly a year of trying to walk properly- I was in a wheelchair for 3 months so you can imagine how I “cheered” myself up- and it’s got worse and worse ever since! The good thing about not doing day 1 yesterday as planned was that I told my husband how bad I want to give up and that I need his support. I’m having a small mole removed from my face on Monday, I used to be a district and practice nurse (!) so friends know I’m interested in medical stuff...,,
    So I told everyone in the pub last night that the plastic surgeon had asked me to take part in a trial that involves no alcohol to reduce facial scarring and promote healing!!! They know I have done 3-5 weeks over the last couple of years so I just said that as I don’t want a scar I think it’s worth doing. They have all marvelled and think I’m brave and s hero for helping with “research”!!! Anyhow it’s the right way for me to do it- so I have had a deal with hubby- he can go to the pub today, I’m going swimming, got lots of jobs to do, becks blue on fridge and that seedlip stuff (the green one tastes like silage but I like the spice one mixed with soda water and it’s zero calories) so I am all set and ready to go!!! So glad I’ve found this site- I’m 53 this month and I used a group to stop dyeing my hair- my natural colour had turned out to be a fabulous blonde grey that even my hairdresser drools over- now I’m looking forward to sober hair later this summer!!! I couldn’t have for the hair thing without my silver sisters supporting me so I KNOW you guys will be my life line , so I’m thanking you in advance- have a great day everyone xx

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  155. Good luck for today unknown, that sounds a really good plan about saying you are doing it for medical research rather than having to explain yourself then have everybody try and pull you down which you know they will. And well done about getting your AF alternatives in and getting your hubby on board. My hubby is fairly understanding but can just take it or leave it and says to me just have a few tonight then not tomorrow, but it never works like that for me!! Wish it did. I like the Seedlip spice too and buy the small 0.5% low alcohol g and t cans from Tesco. Enjoy your swim and here's to an AF day everyone and let's get to those bunnies (although I still don't get it, lol) but I'm dreading going out tonight. Becks Blue is chilling in the fridge. Let's do this ������ xxx

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  156. Ps sorry but my emojis never seem to work, that was fingers crossed and hearts xxx

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  157. My posts will always be full of typos!!! And that’s when I haven’t had a drink!! Lol!! Thanks for your good wishes and have a good time tonight x

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  158. Thanks, just hoping I can stay strong. Hope you all can too xxx

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  159. Yes guys hope your doing well good on ya UN you’ve got a plan stay strong MEGGIE n Mary ❤️💜👏 my Sunday morning day 3 xxxxx

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  160. Well done getting to day 3 LL and long may it continue. How are you Mary and unknown, I hope you are ok too.
    Well I survived the evening I was dreading and stayed AF, bit boring though. To get through it I downed large quantities of Becks Blue and ate tons so I was so bloated I couldn't have drunk much alcohol anyways, lol.And the thought of you guys kept me going, I don't want to let you down. I thought of you every time I was offered alcohol. I pretended I couldn't drink as I was on strong medication but I think it might have been easier just being honest and telling everyone I'm in recovery as they still tried to ply me with alcohol including putting a large glass of wine in front of me and continually asking me if I wanted a nice G&T, etc. I don't need any encouragement!! Looking forward to waking with no hangover, usually after a night with those guys I'd wake in the night and have a horrendous hangover. Looking forward to seeing you with the bunnies!! Must read up on that, Lol!! We can so this together xxx

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  161. Meant we can DO this together xx

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  162. WE CAN, and when 5/6pm comes I’ll think of you guys and not wanting to let you down also!!!!🙏🙏🙏 and say oh I it’s day one again so strong strong strong speak tonight xxxx

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