If someone had told me 2 weeks ago that I'd feel grateful for having a cancerous breast tumour I'd have thought they were crazy, but here I am thinking...
HALLELUIA! IT'S JUST ONE MALIGNANT BREAST TUMOUR!
The scan showed nothing else. It's not gone anywhere. Just sitting happily, minding its own business in the bottom left quadrant of the lefty.
And as of Friday it'll be gone. Off to the lab in a jar. And I can get on with chemo (if they decide I need it) and radio, and blitz the hell out of any stragglers.
So today I am happy. Over the moon. And deeply grateful to the Universe, and especially to all of you. For your messages, e-mails and your prayers.
I've hardly told any of my real life friends yet (don't want to ruin anyone's half term!) so feeling the waves of support from you has really propped me up.
When I started this blog eight months ago I had no idea that I would come to rely on it so massively, or that at times it would feel like the only thing keeping me sane.
A special thank you to Jill who got her whole congregation to pray for me! Nobody's ever done anything like that for me before.
One of my readers happens to be a breast cancer survivor and a nurse. She sent me an e-mail entitled 'The dolphin didn't lie'. I must have read this mail at least twenty times. Here's an excerpt (I hope she doesn't mind me sharing):
I am making a guess here because I don't know you but I think that you have never asked "why me?" Because the question is really "why not me?" Not because of lifestyle, past misdemeanours etc but because everyone is dealt a bad hand at some point in their life be it divorce, bereavement, ill health, whatever! It's the old adage 'life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. Its about learning to dance in the rain.'
Funnily enough, I wrote a post on called Dancing in the Rain (click here) back in May - which now seems like another country.
And right now it may still be raining - after all I still have cancer - but I'm dancing in it, and the storm will pass.
Since I can't have a glass of champagne to celebrate, I have bought 2 boxes of Matchmakers (orange and mint flavour) which I'm going to eat until I feel physically sick.
(Keeping fingers crossed for my much beloved Aunt who gets her scan results on Friday)
I love you all.