If you've only recently quit the booze then I know how the idea of coping with Christmas without it is terrifying.
Last year I wrote four posts which might help, just click on these links:
Last year, my first sober Christmas, was the best I can remember, despite the fact that I spent most days in December in hospital having what was left of my left boob blitzed by radioactive waves.
But, just in case you think it's only me, my lovely reader, Laura, (who, miraculously) managed to find me on my second day of blogging, when I thought I was just talking to myself) sent me an e-mail yesterday which she said I could share with you.
Here it is:
Dear SM,
I am coming up to my second Christmas without alcohol and really looking forward to it. You know, the first one was a bit hesitant and quiet, not wanting to go out or socialise too much.
This year I am there with bells on, so to speak. I have started shopping, cleaning out the spare room, ordered an elf outfit for the dog, tested the lights, am harassing Himself to get a tree sooner rather than later. Even the goose is ordered from the butcher and the overseas Christmas cards written with a few personal lines in each.
How different is this from when Christmas was a great excuse for a month (or two) long champagne bender, starting the New Year with a fat face and belly. The presents were some hastily bought things (usually expensive as I thought cash trumps thought).
A booze free Christmas has freed up space in my heart and head to embrace its meaning. To look forward to hunkering down with the fire on, long walks with the dog, delicious food shared with friends and family, laughter through the games of Monopoly and Scrabble, volunteering for the local charity and realising all I have to be grateful for.
Thank you, SoberMummy, for opening my eyes to the idea that life after Margaux could be joyous and good.
And it can! And it will be!
Thank you, Laura, and Merry Christmas to you all. I'm off to order an elf outfit for the dog.
SM x
Thank you for a lovely life affirming post. I am really looking forward to my first sober Christmas in years (excluding my pregnancies that is) I am looking forward to being present with the people I love. I'm even looking forward to the chaos and the tension! I do find it a bit scary but I think I can do it, here's hoping. x
ReplyDeleteThank you SM. I have 9 months under my belt as of tomorrow. Thanks giving, vacations, family parties I have done them all sober so it is interesting I now feel hesitant about Christmas. When I read your entire blog last summer all at once I remember thinking I was surprised after you had done so well that you were nervous about Christmas. I GET it now! I keep thinking well I can have a glass or two and then get back at sobriety Jan 1. I know that is true actually but why let the witch out of the closet? Why put myself through that? Your unwavering commitment to sobriety is such an inspiration to me. And just because I think about it doesn't mean I would actually do it. Thank you once again for inspiring me!
ReplyDeleteI needed this because I am struggling! First Thanksgiving, then my b'day (which was the first time EVER without a drink, sans two times I was pregnant on my b'day, since I was 18! Then Christmas parties and Christmas Eve and Christmas and New Years. Never mind the wine that helped me while I endlessly wrapped presents! But, in the same vain as Laura's letter to you, I am almost done with my shopping...I made Mr. Soberat53 (now 54) get the tree on my b'day!! House is getting decorated...in fact...it's too early for me to buy my poinsettias and my greenery as I will kill it all by Christmas! So I'm trying to keep in mind all of the things I've gotten done...I will go back and read your Christmas blogs! xo
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you are struggling, I know that feeling way too well which is why I'm on day 28 instead of some huge number by now. I hope you enjoy Christmas minus the wine. Definitely read SM's posts. You have come too far to risk anything, and you have probably come so far you have forgotten how shitty drinking is. Hugs
DeleteI needed this because I am struggling! First Thanksgiving, then my b'day (which was the first time EVER without a drink, sans two times I was pregnant on my b'day, since I was 18! Then Christmas parties and Christmas Eve and Christmas and New Years. Never mind the wine that helped me while I endlessly wrapped presents! But, in the same vain as Laura's letter to you, I am almost done with my shopping...I made Mr. Soberat53 (now 54) get the tree on my b'day!! House is getting decorated...in fact...it's too early for me to buy my poinsettias and my greenery as I will kill it all by Christmas! So I'm trying to keep in mind all of the things I've gotten done...I will go back and read your Christmas blogs! xo
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, sober at 54! Don't worry - Christmas will be WAY better than you think and you'll never need to worry about it again! Hugs xxx
DeleteI too, cannot wait for sober Christmas. I wrote a post about it about a week ago. This is my second sober Christmas, but not in a row. My last one was 2014. I loved it and I was so organised. It really is a great time of the year, it's a shame to waste it with numbing, headaches, feeling flat (and fat). Thanks for this!
ReplyDeleteThank you lovely lady-so what I needed I could cry xx
ReplyDeleteP.s Inner strength oil on the way. Think I'll be spending a lot of time in the bath this Christmas:-))
ReplyDeleteYes yes yes! I agree. It's going to be so much better this year. Last year was great but there were still doubts.... Will I survive? Will it be boring? Should I just have one? Etc etc. And as 'A better path' says we can drink if we want to. The difference and the pure beauty and absolute freedom comes with choosing not to! For me the choice last year was done with gritted teeth and determination. This year it's because I know the truth and that is that's it's even better sober. No trying to pace yourself, no bottle watching, no bring careful not to fall out with hubby or fall asleep before doing santa etc etc. You continue to be an inspiration SM and I can't wait xxxx
ReplyDeleteLove the post. Love the comments.
ReplyDeleteAnd, from A Better Path, this: And just because I think about it doesn't mean I would actually do it.
Don't know if it's just me, but I can get down on myself for still THINKING about it...which is silly. Esp if we realize: the thinking can lead to remembering -- all the reasons NOT to drink.
Oh what a great thought ! "the thinking can lead to remembering - all the reasons NOT to drink". I will think of it this way instead of doubting myself. :)
DeleteOnce again, i empathise with many of the feelings and thoughts expressed above. I have wracked myself this last couple of days, yet I have spent past Xmas's sober as a result of my work. This one is going to be carefully controlled to limit my availability and exposure to alcohol - by necessity I feel. This weekend is 11 months for me so 4 weeks to go. I was just saying on TWTIK's blog that I was really in a very dark place last January. I was on a course in Lyme Regis, holed up in a hotel. It was my first sober week after quite a drunken Xmas and New Year. Looking back makes me think I was close to losing it. I am much better now but also realise that drinking is just one facet - I don't know whether it was cause or effect or both. Anyway, I am going to re-read SM's Xmas advice and keep a low profile.
ReplyDeleteJustonemore
Thank you for this! I'm also full of Christmas spirit this year and excited for the holiday, but yesterday I went shopping with some friends and to a movie and dinner. It was hard not to drink. I really felt like giving up and joining in. I started counting their drinks (they serve cocktails at this theater). At dinner I had 2 giant cappuccinos and felt better, but the struggle is real and somedays are tricky!
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