Sunday, 13 December 2015

Coping With Christmas Sober (Part 2)

Yesterday, in Coping With Christmas (Part 1) (click here to read), I wrote about limbering up for my first Sober Christmas.

Step 1 of the workout was the, somewhat painful, revisiting of the reality of Christmas Past.

Step 2 (today's post) is about finding another way of celebrating Christmas.

Since this is all new to me, I've enlisted the help of the fabulous Wayne Dyer. Wayne died earlier this year, but, thanks to the wonders of the interweb, his wisdom lives on.

Wayne talks about reclaiming 'what should be a time of appreciation, excitement, joy, and peace'.

That description sounds a million miles away from my usual experience of Christmas! Peace? Appreciation? Excitement?

My feelings about Christmas would usually encompass panic, trepidation, queasiness, exhaustion.... Peace? Definitely not. Apart from a fleeting moment when I'd just poured the first glass of wine of the day. Oh. There's the problem....

Intrigued, I read on. How, oh wonderful-Wayne-guru can Christmas possibly involve appreciation, excitement, joy and peace.....and no alcohol?

Here's Wayne's mantra for 'rekindling the spirit of love, and living life to its fullest' over Christmas:

1. I’ll let the holidays flow, rather than trying to make them fit into a fixed schedule.

2. I’ll remember that people are more important than things.

3. I’ll relax my expectations for myself and others this year.

4. I’m going to live in the present moment and enjoy each activity for itself instead of always thinking about what is ahead of me.

5. I’m going to approach the holidays with a sense of joyful anticipation and wonder, just like I did when I was a child.

All easier said than done, but I've been repeating 1-5 daily, hoping that it'll all sink in. It does rather go against all my natural inclinations. NO FIXED SCHEDULE? Are you kidding? NOT THINKING AHEAD? Nothing will ever get done!

I read Wayne's list out to the family. They snorted with derision. "Doesn't sound like Mummy, does it children?" said Mr SM, staring pointedly at my To Do List and Holiday Planner.

Well, I'm going to prove them wrong.

The trick, I think, is in the line 'just like I did when I was a child.' #1, #2 and #3 do all of the above naturally (apart from number 2, obvs!). So I'm just going to try copying them.

No more blurring off all the edges. No more wading through the days numb or hungover. Just joy, anticipation and wonder in glorious technicolour.

Bring it on!

Love SM x





14 comments:

  1. Love it! I can see us all now in our invisible technicolour dreamcoats. I proved my family wrong last night (by chance). I hadn't organised dinner, so we had a take out. I let my boys choose a film and instead of going upstairs to watch a chickflick, on my own, I decided to join them. (The Lone Ranger 2013 turned out to be a great film!). I went to bed at 9pm without feeling guilty. No stress. Just went with the flow. Very alien to me but I must do this more often. x

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    1. Spooky! We did the same. Curry takeout and a terrible (but rather hilarious) film chosen by #1. All in bed by 10pm :-)

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  2. Isn't is strange? Getting sober is so much more than just quitting the booze.....xxx

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  3. I will try to apply the five steps listed above. But for the love of God I just don't know how I am going to do it. December has been a rough month so far.

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    1. We're not alone TATB. We can do it together x

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  4. Need all the tips I can get. Am having a lot of very intense chats with the wine witch at the moment. Thinking about Christmas and not drinking is really hard :-(

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    1. Let's hold hands and do it together x

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    2. Thanks. Think we might have to! I really haven't wavered much since stopping in may but the closer the Christmas holidays come the harder it's getting. There is daily chatter about just having a couple on Christmas day and boxing day. I had offered to drive on both days but circumstances have changed and we're staying over at my parents so there's no real reason. No one will pressure me or persuade me but also no one will object or not encourage me if I decide to drink. One day at a time here xxx

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  5. I LOVE this post! I have printed out the 5 things you listed above and I'm going to apply them to my Christmas and holidays this year. I am determined to get through the festive season sober. A x

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    1. I loved reading your post today, Angie. I'm still smiling :-)

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  6. I hear ya, Sister! I will be 6 months AF next Monday, so slightly behind you but right beside you on our first Christmas AF. The chatter is a low hum in the background and I see-saw from , hmm, maybe a few drinks would be nice, to hold on, are you kidding me? A "few drinks" being the stumbling block. It is never a few, unless we are talking bottles!
    Holding out my hands to you, SM. Grip on and we will laugh in the face of the WW. We/ I can do this because, I know we are not alone! And that brings so much comfort and peace. ��

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  7. Thanks for this post. I love it. I've been reading your blog since last week - also date of my last drink. I'm now on Day 6. I just wanted to thank you for your open and honest thoughts and for the advice. I'm reading Kick the Drink right now, thanks to your recommendations, and enjoying it. (Agree with a lot, not all - but its all great food for thought). -- Thanks from a newly sober career mom of 2.

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  8. It is no secret that I have a very deep and personal relationship with God. I have pushed and resisted that relationship this past year through all the bullshit I have had to go through living with Herpes but once again, God is bigger than my stubbornness and broke through that outbreak cold sore and all I had Genital Herpes. For me personally, hearing over and over how I am not good enough has really invaded my mind in the worst way possible. I completely shut down and I was just waking up like is this how life going to end this temporary herpes outbreak “fuck everybody with herpes if you know what I mean” but let's be honest here...
    It is a cowardly to say no to herbal medicine. It is fear based. And it is dishonest to what my heart wants. Don't build a wall around yourself because you are afraid of herbals made or taking a bold step especially when it's come to health issues and getting cure. So many young men/ women tell me over and over that Dr Itua is going to scam me but I give him a try to today I feel like no one will ever convince me about herbal medicine I accept Dr Itua herbal medicine because it's cure my herpes just two weeks of drinking it and i have been living for a year and months now I experience outbreak no more, You can contact him if you need his herbal medicine for any such diseases like, Herpes, Schizophrenia,Cancer,Scoliosis,Fibromyalgia,Fluoroquinolone Toxicity Syndrome Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva.Fatal Familial Insomnia Factor V Leiden Mutation ,Epilepsy Dupuytren's disease,Desmoplastic,Diabetes ,Coeliac disease,Creutzfeldt–Jakob,,Lyme Disease,Epilepsy, ,ALS,Hepatitis,Copd,Parkinson disease.Genetic disease,Fibrodysplasia disease,Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Men/Woman infertility, bowel disease ,Huntington's disease ,Diabetes,Fibroid. disease,Lupus,Lipoid Storage diseases( Gauchers disease),Polycystic Disease.,Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy, Ataxia,Cirrhosis of Liver,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Allergic,HIV, Epilepsy, Infertility, Love Spell,. Email..drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com then what's app.+2348149277967.... My advice to any sick men/women out there is simple... Be Always an open book. Be gut wrenching honest about yourself, your situation, and what you are all about. Don't hold anything back. Holding back will get you nowhere...maybe a one way ticket to lonelyville and that is NOT somewhere you want to be. So my final truth...and I'm just starting to grasp this one..    

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