Menopause.
It's one of those words that makes me want to stick my head firmly in the sand. You know it's coming, but there's not a lot you can do about it, so best to not think about it, right?
Well, I've been forced to think about it recently, as the side effects of the breast cancer wonder drug, Tamoxifen, (which I have to take for ten years) mimic the menopause. Plus there's been a bit of chat on here about menopause recently. So I did some research.
And it's fascinating.....
Many women start drinking more during menopause. Menopause is hard. It comes with symptoms that range from annoying to debilitating, it's a reminder of the ageing process and our own mortality, it can cause/worsen anxiety and depression, and it coincides with a time when, often, our children are leaving home and our parents are in need of serious help.
Even writing that list makes me want a large drink.
The problem is, drinking during menopause is the last thing you should do!
Here's a list of reasons why quitting alcohol is a very good idea for any women approaching the change (don't you just love that euphemism?)
1. Tolerance
As you get older, your tolerance for alcohol drops off, because the proportion of water in your body decreases, and you become less efficient at metabolising ethanol.
This means that a few glasses of wine get you more drunk, more quickly, than they used to. Which means worse behaviour, worse hangovers, more self hatred....you get the picture....
2. Weight gain
One of the most pissy offy menopausal (and Tamoxifen) side effects, is weight gain. Not all over, in a Jessica Rabbit kind of way, but around the middle - like a child wearing a blow up rubber ring in the swimming pool.
Sound familiar? That's exactly what drinking wine does for you too! So if you're menopausal and drinking, you're getting a double whammy! Before you know it, you'll be looking down and there'll be no sign of your feet!
Don't panic. Quitting drinking is one of the most effective ways to lose that belly fat.
(See my post: Reasons to Quit Drinking #1: Weight Loss)
3. Osteoporosis
Osteoporosis is one of the more dangerous side effects of menopause. It's a thinning of the bones which can lead to fractures and complications. And it's irreversible.
Guess what one of the other main causes of osteoporosis is?
Yup, you got it: heavy drinking.
Say no more.
4. Depression
Many women find that menopause causes, or exacerbates, depression. All those fluctuating hormones, on top of everything else.
But using alcohol as a prop does not help. Because alcohol makes depression worse. It gives you an immediate dopamine high, followed by an inevitable crash.
(For more on alcohol and depression read: Depression and Blackberries)
5. Mood swings
Why do we women have to live with these accursed hormones?
I feel hugely sorry for Mr SM, as in our household my menopause is going to coincide with two girls going through puberty. Oh merry hell.
I'm sure you know by now that hormonal mood swings and alcohol are a lethal cocktail. Right?
(For more on rage, read: Alcohol Induced Rage)
6. Sleep and Night Sweats
Menopause messes around with our sleep. As does (are you seeing the theme here?) alcohol. Enough said, I think, but if you'd like to find out more then read: Sleep, Glorious Sleep.
7. Hot flushes
(Known, by our American friends as hot flashes)
One of the more weird and debilitating effects of the menopause.
But, you know what the first suggestion most doctors give for dealing with hot flushes? QUIT DRINKING! (Cutting down on caffeine also helps).
So, there you have it. Seven good reasons why going sober will make The Change less of a trauma.
And, if you're looking for more help and don't want to resort to HRT, then think about this:
Many breast cancer survivors have terrible menopausal symptoms as a result of chemo and hormonal therapies, yet they are not able to use HRT. So what do many of them swear by?
Acupuncture. Don't ask me how it works, but it does.
So far, with a combination of not drinking and monthly acupuncture sessions, I've managed to avoid any hot flushes, night sweats, major mood swings or weight gain. Keeping fingers and toes crossed.
Love to you all,
SM x
Showing posts with label stp drinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stp drinking. Show all posts
Saturday, 6 February 2016
Sunday, 11 October 2015
The Possibility List
One of the many side effects of heavy drinking is how it makes your life gradually smaller and smaller, until - if you get right to rock bottom - it's just you in an empty room, staring at the bottom of an empty bottle. It strips your life of possibility.
(See my post Let Me Not Die While I Am Still Alive)
Children are the antithesis of this. Their whole lives are filled with possibility.
They could become brave firefighters, visionary artists or life saving surgeons.
Our job as parents is to ensure that as many doors stay open for them as possible, that they have the courage and the confidence to walk through those doors, and that we support whichever choice they make.
As we get older, more and more of the doors shut. That's life. I know, for example, that I will never, ever be a ballet dancer. That door slammed behind me many years ago, along with a whole corridor of others.
Problems arise when you suddenly realise that there are no more doors to choose from. You're totally stuck in a rut.
This, I believe, is what leads to your classic mid life crisis, or just a low level rumbling depression.
It's what makes men buy a Harley Davidson and run off with their PA, and it's what makes women drink more and more. (Please forgive the stereotypes! I'm all for women buying Harley's and finding themselves a toyboy, obviously).
When I was still at University, and the world was my oyster, I had this theory of the Possibility List.
Back then, the list was about boys. I was, I would tell me friends (at length), perfectly happy being single, so long as I had a good Possibility List.
The possibility list was the list of men (boys) that you could, or might, go out with in the future. It would go something like this:
1. William - sweet and earnest. You know he has a crush on you, but you suspect he's just a bit too wet.
2. Richard - gorgeous rugby player. Currently has a girlfriend, but there's definitely a spark there, and who knows what may happen when his relationship finally fizzles out.
3. Harry - You've locked eyes several times during lectures on micro-economics. He hasn't made a move yet, but you're bound to see him at Ariane's party on Saturday....
The thing about the possibility list is that it gives life a feeling of optimism, of possibility, of momentum. It makes you realise that any current issues you have are temporary, and all you need to do is be open to potential and cast out a few fishing lines.
My Possibility List theory caught on, and many an hour was spent with girlfriends (accompanied by lots of cigarettes and bottles of wine) writing and re-writing lists, ordering and reordering priorities and, with much ritual, crossing off candidates who'd fallen short of expectations.
(Perhaps if I'd spent more time reading Keynes and writing essays I would have got a First).
If you've recently quit drinking don't worry about the possibility list. Just hunker down, be good to yourself and eat cake (if necessary). Just not drinking in itself is opening your world up to endless possibility.
However, if you've been sober for a while then think about casting out a few of those fishing lines. Think about creating a few more open doors. Join a dating site. Send out your CV. Sign up for an evening course. Life is short, and we've wasted enough of it.
After a decade of digging myself a rut and then getting well and truly stuck in it, I have finally taken action. Over the last two weeks I've submitted my young adult novel for two unpublished novel awards, plus I've sent it to a literary agent. I was terrified, but realised that I have absolutely nothing to lose (see my post Feel the Fear).
I've also started working on the plot for an adult novel with a deeply flawed heroine who is (surprise surprise) a secret drinker, and I've taken on an unpaid job doing marketing for a charity event.
All of this may come to nothing, but - for the first time in years - I have a possibility list, and that feels good.
Happy, sunny, sober Sunday everyone!
SM x
(See my post Let Me Not Die While I Am Still Alive)
Children are the antithesis of this. Their whole lives are filled with possibility.
They could become brave firefighters, visionary artists or life saving surgeons.
Our job as parents is to ensure that as many doors stay open for them as possible, that they have the courage and the confidence to walk through those doors, and that we support whichever choice they make.
As we get older, more and more of the doors shut. That's life. I know, for example, that I will never, ever be a ballet dancer. That door slammed behind me many years ago, along with a whole corridor of others.
Problems arise when you suddenly realise that there are no more doors to choose from. You're totally stuck in a rut.
This, I believe, is what leads to your classic mid life crisis, or just a low level rumbling depression.
It's what makes men buy a Harley Davidson and run off with their PA, and it's what makes women drink more and more. (Please forgive the stereotypes! I'm all for women buying Harley's and finding themselves a toyboy, obviously).
When I was still at University, and the world was my oyster, I had this theory of the Possibility List.
Back then, the list was about boys. I was, I would tell me friends (at length), perfectly happy being single, so long as I had a good Possibility List.
The possibility list was the list of men (boys) that you could, or might, go out with in the future. It would go something like this:
1. William - sweet and earnest. You know he has a crush on you, but you suspect he's just a bit too wet.
2. Richard - gorgeous rugby player. Currently has a girlfriend, but there's definitely a spark there, and who knows what may happen when his relationship finally fizzles out.
3. Harry - You've locked eyes several times during lectures on micro-economics. He hasn't made a move yet, but you're bound to see him at Ariane's party on Saturday....
The thing about the possibility list is that it gives life a feeling of optimism, of possibility, of momentum. It makes you realise that any current issues you have are temporary, and all you need to do is be open to potential and cast out a few fishing lines.
My Possibility List theory caught on, and many an hour was spent with girlfriends (accompanied by lots of cigarettes and bottles of wine) writing and re-writing lists, ordering and reordering priorities and, with much ritual, crossing off candidates who'd fallen short of expectations.
(Perhaps if I'd spent more time reading Keynes and writing essays I would have got a First).
If you've recently quit drinking don't worry about the possibility list. Just hunker down, be good to yourself and eat cake (if necessary). Just not drinking in itself is opening your world up to endless possibility.
However, if you've been sober for a while then think about casting out a few of those fishing lines. Think about creating a few more open doors. Join a dating site. Send out your CV. Sign up for an evening course. Life is short, and we've wasted enough of it.
After a decade of digging myself a rut and then getting well and truly stuck in it, I have finally taken action. Over the last two weeks I've submitted my young adult novel for two unpublished novel awards, plus I've sent it to a literary agent. I was terrified, but realised that I have absolutely nothing to lose (see my post Feel the Fear).
I've also started working on the plot for an adult novel with a deeply flawed heroine who is (surprise surprise) a secret drinker, and I've taken on an unpaid job doing marketing for a charity event.
All of this may come to nothing, but - for the first time in years - I have a possibility list, and that feels good.
Happy, sunny, sober Sunday everyone!
SM x
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