Friday, 8 July 2016

Being the Bomb

The most difficult thing about quitting the booze isn't not drinking, it's doing all the feeling. Dealing with all the stresses, strains and ups and downs of everyday life without a buffer, without the ability to numb the edges at the end of the day.

But I've discovered that, like everything in life, it's about practise. The more you deal with adversity, fear and unhappiness raw, the better you get at it, the braver you become and the more you like yourself.

I had to remind myself of all of this yesterday.

I was taking #1 and a friend of hers to Go Ape, to celebrate the friend's birthday and beginning of the holidays. Go Ape is a three hour adventure trail, way up in the trees, of zip wires and aerial walkways.

I was booking tickets for the two girls on-line when an alert came up saying that as they were (just) under thirteen they had to be accompanied by an adult.

I thought, for a while, about fibbing. They definitely look - and act - like teenagers. But then I remembered that outside the comfort zone is where the magic happens (see my post: The Comfort Zone) and I booked myself in.

I was regretting this big time yesterday as I swayed in my harness thirty feet off the ground.

#1 and her friend were swinging through the trees merrily, like the teenage offspring of Tarzan, yelling back encouragements to me - the adult, supposedly, in charge.

Then we got a point where we had a choice of two directions. One was labelled DIFFICULT and the other EXTREME. What kind of a choice is that?!?

The right way to go was obvious, but the girls thought otherwise. "We can't do EXTREME unless you come with us!" they told me.

I stood there, up in the canopy, wishing with every fibre of my being that I had both feet on terra firma.

"Okay," I sighed.

I thought I was going to die. In fact, had I not been strapped into a harness attached to a safety line, I would have done, as at one point I slipped off the wobbling pole I was expected to tightrope walk along and ended up dangling from the wire. But I made it.

When we (finally) reached the ground #1 took my hand and said "Mummy, I am so proud of you."

I was already feeling somewhat shaky, so this made me all tearful.

"There were no other Mummies doing the EXTREME route. And, you know the people in the group behind us, who did the easy route?" *Eye roll.* "Well, they came up to me and said "your Mum is the bomb!""

"The bum?" I asked, confused.

"No, the bomb."

I have no idea what on earth that means, but apparently it's a really good thing.

So, Mummy is NOT a secret drinker, Mummy is THE BOMB.

Happy Friday!

SM x


  1. He he, that's brilliant SM, the highest accolade! Well done you! Day 18 for me and loving the clear headed mornings and regaining control. Just made my 2 boys homemade (get me!) pancakes. #2 hugged me from behind and said "those were decent(high praise over here), I love you" awh!! Your blog is superb. I am currently reading it from the start, Jason Vale's book & Girl on a Train - all brilliant! Thank you for taking the time to blog, every single post resonates with me. You are a fantastic writer , please keep doing what you're doing and congrats on how far you've come! Have a fab day wrapped in the knowledge that you are making such a positive difference to so many people! xx

    1. Welcome Catherine, and huge congrats on 18 days and the pancakes! X

  2. You truly are THE BOMB! I could not have done that to save my life. Terrified of heights, very clumsy, poor balance. I feel sick even at the thought of it. Be very proud.

  3. Good for you! You're a GREAT mom!

  4. That is awesome!!! What a great story. You should feel proud....being the bomb is huge praise here over the pond!

  5. Wow you are very brave!! I would have thrown up somewhere in that process. Being The Bomb is probably an American term meaning awesome!

  6. What that means in slang is something considered excellent and/or the best (uses modifier "the").

  7. Good work SM! I've always wanted to do Go Ape, looks awesome, maybe this sober year will be my year to do it. 35 days here and all is well. Xxx

  8. Yikes SFM I was trying to reply to your brilliant comment congratulating you on sober holiday and accidentally deleted it! If you have a copy somewhere can you repost? So sorry! Xxx

  9. Hey SM - no worries. I'm not sure if I do have a copy - but I'll re post the rough outline!
    Hi SM and your lovely readers. Day 183 for me - whoop whoop. I've not posted much lately but have been reading your blog as avidly as ever. It was so timely to read the wonderful email from kags. Welcome back and congrats kags. I recently went on holiday and the cravings were vicious. I felt I was back at day 1. It was soooo hard. But thankfully I managed it - played the tape forward lots and went through my list of horrors. Dr C I think we had the same day 1, day 100 etc and we're both past 6 mths now - so I know you can also enjoy your holiday sober. The first sober everything is the hardest. And thank you SM and kags for sharing with us that despite 6 mths sobriety - just 1 or 2 can have us right back where we started. And darling SM - you simply have to publish something - because your writing gives pleasure to so many of us - I do not think you need to fear anything. Ooh - and you are 'so the bomb' and such a wonderful mama. Love SFM

  10. Oh my goodness, you're amazing! I know GoApe and there's no way I could do that. I'm 252 days sober and I love your blog. Keep going you amazing lady. They're right, you're the BOMB :-)

  11. You are the bomb! Much thanks for all you do - Eeyore 200 something days

  12. I've nearly caught up as I've been reading your blog from day 1 since November.

    This has just made me laugh!!!!! I can just imagine you doing this, and your right kids are so graceful and us adults just think we are but we're not!!! ( I've never done go ape but last summer after a few drinks I would always try to do cart wheels/headstands and other gymnastic stuff my girls are always doing! Believe me It was
    Not a good look for me!!!

    Thanks for making my Friday!! And us sober mums are the bomb!!! Xxx