Being the Bomb

The most difficult thing about quitting the booze isn't not drinking, it's doing all the feeling. Dealing with all the stresses, strains and ups and downs of everyday life without a buffer, without the ability to numb the edges at the end of the day.

But I've discovered that, like everything in life, it's about practise. The more you deal with adversity, fear and unhappiness raw, the better you get at it, the braver you become and the more you like yourself.

I had to remind myself of all of this yesterday.

I was taking #1 and a friend of hers to Go Ape, to celebrate the friend's birthday and beginning of the holidays. Go Ape is a three hour adventure trail, way up in the trees, of zip wires and aerial walkways.

I was booking tickets for the two girls on-line when an alert came up saying that as they were (just) under thirteen they had to be accompanied by an adult.

I thought, for a while, about fibbing. They definitely look - and act - like teenagers. But then I remembered that outside the comfort zone is where the magic happens (see my post: The Comfort Zone) and I booked myself in.

I was regretting this big time yesterday as I swayed in my harness thirty feet off the ground.

#1 and her friend were swinging through the trees merrily, like the teenage offspring of Tarzan, yelling back encouragements to me - the adult, supposedly, in charge.

Then we got a point where we had a choice of two directions. One was labelled DIFFICULT and the other EXTREME. What kind of a choice is that?!?

The right way to go was obvious, but the girls thought otherwise. "We can't do EXTREME unless you come with us!" they told me.

I stood there, up in the canopy, wishing with every fibre of my being that I had both feet on terra firma.

"Okay," I sighed.

I thought I was going to die. In fact, had I not been strapped into a harness attached to a safety line, I would have done, as at one point I slipped off the wobbling pole I was expected to tightrope walk along and ended up dangling from the wire. But I made it.

When we (finally) reached the ground #1 took my hand and said "Mummy, I am so proud of you."

I was already feeling somewhat shaky, so this made me all tearful.

"There were no other Mummies doing the EXTREME route. And, you know the people in the group behind us, who did the easy route?" *Eye roll.* "Well, they came up to me and said "your Mum is the bomb!""

"The bum?" I asked, confused.

"No, the bomb."

I have no idea what on earth that means, but apparently it's a really good thing.

So, Mummy is NOT a secret drinker, Mummy is THE BOMB.

Happy Friday!

SM x

The Comfort Zone

I was reading an interview in the Times Magazine with a tech millionaire.

He said that his new life mantra is inspired by a cheesy Facebook meme. It's a Venn diagram with two circles. One is labelled THE COMFORT ZONE, and the other is labelled WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS.

There is no overlap between the two circles.

This is a really neat summary of my life!

My theory is that we 'enthusiastic drinkers' are people who have always hated stepping outside our comfort zones.

That's why we love drinking; because it allows us to expand that zone to include all sorts of things that would usually make us feel edgy.

Suddenly our world seems so much bigger and more accessible!

The problem is we get so used to equating the comfort zone with alcohol, that the number of things that we are happy doing sober shrinks and shrinks, until we are fearful shadows of our former selves.

When we quit, we have to get used to constantly stepping out of that zone, to dealing with fear, anxiety, the unknown.

It's really hard.

Until you realise that outside the zone is where the magic happens!

Think back to those times in your life when you felt genuinely high, because you'd achieved something brilliant. I bet they'd been preceded by at least a dollop of fear, and butterflies in the stomach?

So, next time you're feeling scared and anxious, and you really want a drink to 'take the edge off', and to get you back to that warm, comfortable space, think this instead:

"Well done me! I am awesome. I am feeling like this because I'm on an adventure, going to where the magic happens...." Then wait and see where it takes you.

Happy Mother's Day to all my UK readers!

Love SM x