I'm Back!

Hello!

I'm back. I'm so sorry about the radio silence.

I've not posted on here for a month, nor have I replied to any comments (so sorry if you left one - I’m trying to catch up!) I've not bought a single Christmas present. I've not sent any cards. There were days when I only just changed out of my pyjamas to do the school run. I've not worn any makeup for weeks.

For the last five weeks, I've been editing my novel - The Authenticity Project. The deadline to get it back to my publishers in the UK and USA was yesterday. I made it. Just.

I know I shouldn't grumble, as writing is actually the best job in the world. Whenever I talk about 'my job', my children clutch their sides and laugh hysterically, as they can't believe that anyone can be paid to make up stories. I can't quite believe it myself, to be honest. But the last few weeks have been hard.

For a start, there's the constant self doubt - is anyone actually going to want to read this? Plus, one of my main characters is an addict, and whenever I get to the chapter where he (spoiler alert) falls spectacularly off the wagon, I feel awful. Writing about his struggles getting sober feels much like I'm doing it again myself.

Now I'm done, I'm exhausted. And the hours spent hunched over a laptop, mainlining mince pies for energy, mean that I'm physically out of shape and have done my back in. I'm a wreck. And Christmas is approaching like an out of control steam train...

So, now the manuscript has left my desk and hit the desks of my editors, I can concentrate on getting fit, and getting my s**t back together in time for December 25th.

And it's so fabulous to be back here with you guys. I'm so sorry for abandoning you!

I'll post here in a day or two on how to survive Christmas without the booze, and I am still posting information and inspiration every day on the SoberMummy Facebook Page (click here), 'like' page to stay updated.

In other news, The Sober Diaries is coming out in PAPERBACK with a brand new cover design on December 27th. You can pre-order here.

Huge love to you all!

SM x

What Would You Do?

I read something a few days ago which lodged itself deep in my psyche.

(What is a psyche? Maybe I don't have one. If I do, how do I know where to find it?)

It was this question: what would you do if you weren't scared?

At the same time, with curious serendipity, having cleared out the dusty, overflowing cupboard that is my to-do list (see my last post) I was left with two items I could no longer ignore:

1. Get Young Adult novel published

2. Send proposal for book based on blog to Agents

The truth is that what I would do if I were not scared is take my writing seriously, and find a way of making money out of it.

Like many ex-drinkers, after the first few months sober I started to realise what a huge, gaping hole I had in my life.

I'd often find myself (much to the horror of my children) singing along at top volume to The Pogues Fairytale of New York: "I could have been someone!"

(To which the answer is "so could anyone!" Which is true, but unlikely if they're downing more than a bottle of vino a day).

However, the reason it's scary is that it's a path paved with endless rejection.

I have an electronic drawer stuffed with rejection letters from over the years.

Usually I send out a half finished project, get a few standard rejections (we receive thousands of submissions each year, and I'm afraid we are not excited enough about your proposal to be able to offer you representation at this stage) then give up (and drink, obvs.)

So now I've decided to use some of the lessons I've learned over the last sixteen months of not drinking and apply them to getting published.

1. I'm going to feel the fear and do it anyway. What have I got to lose? A little pride, perhaps, but nothing else.

2. I'm taking one day at a time. Any task is less scary if you break it down into small chunks.

3. I realise that if I want a different result I'm going to have to do things differently.

4. I'm going to ask for help. One thing the last year has taught me is you're always better off not going it alone.

So, last week I contacted a top literary consultancy, and I have forked out some of the cash I've saved by not drinking to pay for a professional editor to read my novel and give me feedback.

(She sounds amazing - she's had twenty five children's books published worldwide, so she knows what she's talking about).

And, for the last three days I've been getting up at 4am to finish off my proposal for the book of this blog which I'VE FINISHED!

I sent the proposal to four people and asked for their advice: an author friend, a scientist friend, one of my fabulous readers who's become an e-mail friend, and the literary consultant.

And now I feel like Ripley in Aliens, having just incinerated the mother alien and all her little unborn babies.

I AM AWESOME! I AM STRONG! I AM INVINCIBLE! I KICK ASS.

The problem is there's this tiny, irritating little voice whispering in my ear and it says what happens if you do all this and still don't succeed? What happens then?

I don't have the answer to that one.

So, my lovely friends, what would you do if you weren't scared?

Love SM x

P.S. If you've only recently found my blog and want to read from the beginning, then click here.