Saturday, 26 November 2016


A few days ago I was having tea with a girlfriend who has just returned to London after 3 years of working in Manhattan and living in New Jersey.

I told her that, since she'd been out of town, I'd quit drinking, started a blog and was now in the process of (hopefully) selling a book.

"Do the New Jersey housewives drink the same way the London ones do?" I asked.

"Oh no," she replied, "they're generally far too worried about smelling of booze. They take pills."

"What pills?"

"Usually a whole cocktail of prescription meds. The doctors dole them out like Smarties. Prescription painkillers, sleeping pills, anti-anxiety meds, anti-depression meds. They're obsessed with perfection - always at the gym, dressed in Lululemon, driving the latest Range Rover, but I swear, they're like zombies."

I confess, I was a little sceptical. I thought she was maybe exaggerating to make me feel better about my own little addiction issue. But then she told me this story:

"When we were selling our house the real estate agents said 'remember to empty your bathroom cabinet.' I asked why, and they were amazed that I wasn't already aware that if you leave your medications in the bathroom people steal them during viewings!"

So, different continent, same problems, same 'solutions'.

We are all so stressed out by trying to keep up with the faked perfection of other people's lives, of Facebook and Instagram, that we look for something to blur the edges, and pills do the job as effectively as booze.

I have to confess, just a tiny bit of me was desperate at this point to make an appointment with the GP. But then I remembered reading about a sign that David Hockney has hanging in his studio in Los Angeles. It reads:

All visitors, please please.
No photography and video.
Look with both eyes.

We spend too much time looking at life through a lens of one sort or another - blurring the focus and changing the reality.

It's time to look with both eyes.

Love SM x


  1. As a NJ housewife looking with both eyes, I beg to differ with your friends generalization of people like me! While there probably are people who pop xanax, valium and the like, I, personally do not know of any. But, I do know of MANY drinkers! Alcohol is much easier to get. I live in a suburb of NYC and yes, a lot of us do wear Lululemon. Myself included. I hope nobody stereotypes me for wearing it... I find it to be the best workout material around and it lasts forever! I think many of us drink because we are striving for perfection...being the perfect mom, wife, friend, employee, etc. And because we are not, we turn to alcohol or pills. And the interesting thing is, that we don't even realize that we were striving for perfection until we quit! xo

    1. Hear hear! And apologies for any generalisations! I love Lululemon too. Xxx

  2. Yes I live in Westchester north of NYC in a commuting town. I see tons of Lululemon, Range Rovers, pills and wine! There is a group of wine Moms and a group of pill Moms. There is also a big group of men and women that don't drink much at all anymore. Frankly it is a bit boring but it is hard to age gracefully, commute, have a big job or shuttle the kids around all day when you feel tired and hung over. Most have just quit the hard lifestyle imo or the big job wont last.

  3. I've just had to Google what Lululemon is ! But I'm from Yorkshire and I'm not sure it would match my flat cap and ferret ! Lol ! Coming up 9 months here ! Wondering how my first sober Xmas will go....

    1. It'll be awesome! My kids are obsessed with ferrets and every Christmas ask (in vain) for one as a pet! Xxx

  4. After 117 days AF (yay) and my first sober Thanksgiving, I'm starting to realize who the wine moms are and who the pill moms are. At least the wine moms can converse...until they get so drunk that they can't. The pill moms are just quiet. Addiction is so sad.

  5. I live in lululemon. I can go from work to yoga!
    Of course, I'm CANADIAN. Like lululemon! Lol

    It's sad to think how drugged up th world is. We numb because We are unhappy, never realizing we are unhappy because we are numb.

  6. I watch all the Housewives shows, and they ALL drink a lot!
    So do the "richer" housewives here.
    Everywhere, people drink a lot and use drugs.
    Crazy way to live.

  7. I remember my mother reading Valley of the Dolls in the 1970s? It was all about women taking pills, and I think it turned me off. I used to read all her adult books when she wasn't looking... I can't afford much Lululemon, probably could now though, since I'm not drinking a bottle of red wine a day.

  8. There is a great quote on Laura McKowan's blog post (pictured/unpictured) She says 'Don't judge your insides by others outsides'. Amen to that! (Day 20 for me.. whoop whoop!)

  9. Im originally from Los Angeles and I know WAY too well the way of the housewives there. Pills are rampant, but the booze is flowing too. Its amazing no one calls each other out. But actually, one of the Bev Hills moms had a meltdown and came out as an alcoholic on the show. Its all a bit crazy and chaotic and trying to surpass it all is a challenge.

  10. I can see why pills are an attractive option - no weight gain and no black outs - but they must do horrible things to your insides!