Just like back in the drinking days, I have insomnia.
It's 3.45am, a time I know well from when the nights were dark and full of terrors, when I'd wake up dehydrated, sweating booze and hating myself.
Only now, it's not booze keeping me awake, it's adrenaline.
The last two days, since I sent my book, like a fragile Chinese lantern, out into the world, have been a rollercoaster.
Since I posted yesterday, the Daily Mail article telling part one of my story (part 2 is out tomorrow) went to the 'most read' top position on the Mail Online and my little book climbed up and up the Amazon chart.
I wasted hours of the day constantly refreshing the Amazon bestseller list, unable to tear myself off the laptop. Once an addict, always an addict.
By the end of the day, I'd reached the giddy heights of #35 in 'all books'.
Even more extraordinary, for a while I was the number one bestseller in the 'raising children' category.
Oh, the irony! The one thing I have never, ever pretended to be is an expert in parenting!
Anyhow, as you probably guessed, I couldn't stop myself reading the Mail Online comments.
Some were, as you can imagine, pretty awful. One of my favourites was 'If I had a wife like her, I'd be drinking a bottle of wine a day!'
However, there were some pretty incredible comments too, and the 'most liked' comment of all was a lady who just wrote 'I can relate to this.'
And that's all I ever wanted to do - to tell my story so that anyone out there who is in the pickle that I was in can relate, and then see the way out.
Also, I discovered that all the wonderful messages from you guys and from friends and strangers far and wide via Facebook, text and e-mail, created the most magical, troll-proof armour.
I felt so surrounded by love and support that absolutely nothing bad could get through. So THANK YOU!
Now I really have to try to sleep, because this is only the beginning. On Tuesday morning I'm on Woman's Hour live, then there's more TV, radio and press coming thick and fast.
Things are changing, my friends. Remember how difficult it was to confess to quitting alcohol? All that stigma and shame? Well, no more.
Because 2018 is going to be the year of SOBER, not as a badge of shame, but a positive, aspirational, lifestyle choice.
VIVE LA REVOLUTION! And a very happy New Year to all of you.
To find my book click here. To go to the SoberMummy Facebook page click here.
Love SM x
