Wednesday, 2 January 2019

Welcome to Mummy was a Secret Drinker


I used to hate January. It's cold and dark. The bathroom scales are the harbingers of doom and you dare not even peek at your bank balance. It's miserable.

But now, it's one of my favourite months of the year. Because if you don't drink, you feel like a bit of an outlier for most months of the year, but not, my friends, in January.

Right now, we sober people are surfing the zeitgeist and feeling positively fashionable. I was even in the Sunday Times Style Magazine last weekend. Whoop whoop.

Another New Year bonus is that I get thousands of new visitors to this blog, and if you are one of them, then WELCOME!

I started writing Mummy was a Secret Drinker when I first gave up booze, back in March 2015. I used the blog as therapy, and I wrote every single day. So there are nearly 500 posts on here now.

I thought it might be helpful to signpost some of the ones that you might find most useful.

You might want to start by reading this post, which I wrote when I'd been sober for 1000 days. I had no idea how much quitting alcohol would change every aspect of my life. If you need some inspiration, you'll find it here.

The post I wrote on Three Secrets to Success gives you my top tips for getting sober.

This one, on Making Sober Less Shameful features the TEDx talk I did on what it's like to quit alcohol in a world where everyone drinks.

If you want to learn a bit more about how addiction feels, then try this post on Understanding the Wine Witch.

If you're still not sure whether to quit drinking, or just cut down, then read this: Why Don't You Just Drink Less?

If you'd like to read my blog from the beginning (which is quite an undertaking), then click here.

If you're a fan of the Facebook, then I post inspiration and information every day on the SoberMummy Facebook page. Click here (and 'like' page if you want to stay updated).

If my regular readers have any favourite posts you'd like to highlight, please add them to the comments below!

You can read the story of my first year sober in the book described as 'Bridget Jones Dries Out' - The Sober Diaries. Click here for my Amazon page in the UK, or here for the USA.

Happy New Year to you all!

SM x




41 comments:

  1. Happy New Year Clare. Just checking in on the third anniversary of being AF and encouraging anyone who is just starting. Best thing I ever did.

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  2. Hi Clare. I read your article in a magazine and it came at the right time for me. You have truly inspired me and I just want to say thank you. It is only 3 days today but I am determined to succeed in this.

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    1. Good luck Mimi. You can do it and you will feel fantastic. There are so many positives about going alcohol free.

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    2. Hurrah for you, Mimi! You can do this! xxx

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  3. The post called 'Getting to 100 days' is a great one to read ... Whether you are crawling through the first few days, passing with flying colours the weeks, months, years (yes newbies this can and will be you) there is a lot of good mindful stuff within, also a couple of links to other helpful posts. Hang on in there .. You are on an incredible journey :-))

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    1. Thanks Jacs! I think this is the post you're referring to: https://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/p/going-sober-first-30-days.html

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  5. Hi, I know it's not a blog but I'd just like to recommend the radio 5 show which you were on recently Clare, with Adrian Chiles on 28th Dec, definitely worth a listen on iPlayer. It's a good reminder that sometimes moderation is more exhausting than quitting and I was also quite surprised to learn that although they are now saying that 14 units is the max for men they are now saying ANY alcohol is basically dangerous for women as it increases the risk of breast cancer, etc etc. I love hearing facts like that now as it reinforces my sobriety whereas before I would just bury my head in the sand!!
    Heaps of luck to everyone who is starting out on their amazing journey and the best advice I had is to just take a day at a time, baby steps, as 'forever' seems so depressing and scary but now seems totally manageable xx

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    1. Hi Meggie
      Am struggling to find this do you have a link or a rough idea of what time in the show Clare was on? Would really like to listen.

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    2. So sorry Dr C, I got the wrong date and it's just taken me ages to find it so no wonder you struggled! So it's the Emma Barnet show on 27th December, Adrian Chile's is sitting in. If you start at about the 7th minute of the show you will find it. Sorry for the confusion and hopefully Clare will read this and post a link to it, sadly I don't know how to! Hope you find it ok and let me know what you think.

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    3. Here's the link to the Adrian Chiles discussion! https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0001rvs

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    4. Just listened. You were great Clare. X

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  6. Hi Clare

    I read about your book in Style and Mail recommended and downloaded it last night on Kindle. Actually read in one sitting until 3am this morning! A fabulous and truly inspirational account if I might say! I’m on day 3 and will be using it as my ‘go to’ every single day. Funny and so true!

    Fi

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    1. I'm so glad you enjoyed it Fifi! Thanks for letting me know, and huge congrats on Day 3!!!

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  7. I am reading your book which I bought at Euston Station on the way back from a booze filled New Year in London. I was also in the throws of a horrible hangover !! I decided to do dry January but after reading your book I'm going to see if I can keep going. I must say evenings are the worst .
    I know I'm going to struggle tomorrow when my son goes back to Australia after spending 3 weeks with us here in N Wales. Then back to work on Monday.
    Thank you for your inspirational writing. It's keeping me going.

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    1. I'm so glad you found me! You CAN do this! Check out the SoberMummy Facebook page - my latest post on there gives advice on how to get through wine o'clock without booze! Huge hugs to you xxx

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    2. Thank you so much. Your family sound lovely.

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  8. Another newbie here. I was inspired by Clare's book and it completely resonated with me. This year I will give up listening to the wine witch! (I also have a problem with the sugar menace sitting on my other shoulder but that's a whole different story ...) Unfortunately I fell off the wagon 4 January (a spectacular fail even by my low standards!) but I'm back on it now. Having had ER breast cancer four years ago it is a mystery to me why I didn't stop drinking then. Very persuasive that wine witch.

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  9. Celebrating One Whole Year off the drink tomorrow!!!
    Never felt better in my adult life!
    Thank you Clare as it was your book that started the fire.
    Unfortunately I have family staying who are unable to accept the sober version of me and it's tough going. This time last year I would have caved in, I know that.
    But not now, not anymore.
    Besides, in a perverted way, I'm enjoying upsetting the role allocation. I am no longer the heavy drinker in the family.
    Yippee!!!!!!

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    1. So well done on the year HPG, a real inspiration to us lesser mortals. I'm on day 63 which is amazing considering the mess I was in 64 days ago. I could probably recite Clare's book without looking at it!

      The family members you mention are jealous of your achievement, your strength and the way you have turned life around. And it's not perverse in any way, it's self satisfaction. Very best of luck with year 2 :-)

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  10. Finished your book yesterday and it has made my first 7 days AF so much easier. Thank you x

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  11. Listened to you book on Audible during a 7 day Cruise to the Caribbean. I've been a heavy drinker since I was 15, I'm now 47 and a hot mess. This vacation was my cast off...(so you can imagine how that excuse has done for me) going to attempt going sober...your book described me to a tee! A real eye opener.

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  12. Hi Clare, just finished listening to your book on Audible - I quit alcohol on New Year's Day (not for the first time either), determined to be sober for the rest of my life this time. Day 7 today and it has got marginally easier. Being part of a couple where only one person has a problem isn't helping much... Like you, I've consumed vast amounts of cake and feel like a BLOB. Starting a water fast tomorrow, which is something I find a lot easier than giving up alcohol :-/
    Thank you for your inspiration and support. From here on forth I shall be part of the Sober Revolution!!

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  13. Clare & Crew

    Thank you Clare for a inspiring blog and a wonderful book. I am on day 13 and on the fence tonight. I worked all day and all night and am totally exhausted. This is when I would more often than not, stopp and buy vodka to relax.

    I have read and reread posts and am on the 3rd listening to your book (Audible). This morning I felt better than I have in years - WHATS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN? I know you can't answer that. But I don't think I'm not the only one who craves drinking after a long stressful day. Thanks for letting me vent

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    1. Hang in there Queue. Theres a little acronym for addiction called HALT - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. These are the triggers for our addictive behaviour. Just being aware of them lets you become more aware of whats happening, and it sounds like Tired is the one for you.

      There's another little mental trick - play the tape through to the end. That drink sounds so good right now, but you know it's never just one, and that one drink is connected by an unbreakable chain to the consequences tomorrow, and the rest of your life.

      All strength to you. You've already done the real heavy lifting by the end of the first week.

      Love

      Rob

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  14. I MADE IT HOME WITHOUT STOPPING FOR BOOZE. My vodka vixen really wanted me to stop. But my arms & legs just couldn't stop my car. Now I feel great! Tomorrow I will wake up feeling good.

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    1. Good for you! I just replied to your earlier post. Glad to see you got through :)

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    2. You are doing great Queue and I can promise you it does get easier....less painful is a better way of describing it.

      Everyone on here has gone or is going through the pain that you are and no, you're not the only one who craved drink after a long day; I used to sit at work thinking about getting home so I could open a bottle! The first few weeks is always the hardest so be strong now, be determined.



      I'm a few months ahead of you and I'm just starting to realise how good a booze free life can be....

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  15. My third sober January and I have found all of your posts helpful and so inspiring!!! You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself and I will be forever grateful!!!! �� my January is just crazy hectic so far- not helped by being without a phone for 2 weeks after dropping it down the loo!!! But hopefully all a bit calmer and more organised by the end of this week - the old me would be drinking my way through the chaos and all good intentions out of the window as I buried my head into a box of Pinot!!!! Well done sober warriors you are all doing AMAZING!!! Xxxxx

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  16. Just a comment from the Netherlands, I bought your book, Chardonee and i loved it so much! I have been 'studying' this alcoholfree life for a long time, tried and failed, tried and failed, i LOVED our storie about the field with the bunnies, chapeau for you!! Its such an eyeopener. lots of love Lida !

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  17. Thank you Clare for your book, Ted X tlk nd blog. I m day 3 tody and going quite strong. I started your book on day 1 and I am hoping that this will be the thing that gets me through this time. Love the wine witch analogy and the obstacles course analogy and I am using them when things get tough. Will have to research some nice AF alternatives for 5pm. I love 8.00 pm onwards though and I am finding I have so much more time to do things I haven't done for ages like read, watch TV, read blogs etc as usually I would be half sleep due to wine :(
    I love your work and your story resonates with me !

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    1. Day 3 great - keep going. Trying to follow my own advice on day 9 over here!

      https:/youboozeyoulooze.wordpress.com

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  19. Hi Clare, i am in the process of reading your book. I only drank at weekends but i would drink so much it would take me to weds to feel right again. Life was stuck in a rut. Then my mum died. The world looks so different and I want her to be proud of me. So I decided to take control and your book is the most amazing inspiration. I can relate to u on so many levels - clubbing in the 90"s, giving up work to be a mum and then experiencing such a major life bombshell. Tho mine is bereavement not personal illness i have just read your day 275 chapter and the way you describe the way you look at old people with jealousy..... I do that ... not for me... but for my mum. It resonated so deeply with me you made me cry..... cry because someone else understood how the world looks so different after a major event in ones life. I will be catniss everdene... I will come out of this a fricking winner. Thank you so much Clare, i owe you xxx

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  20. On day 3 and feeling really crappy physically but mentally really excited about the future. Listened to a short meditation this morning ( a Sunday) when I would norma─║y feel pants and thinking of an excuse to go to Tesco after lunch to get something ( oh and some wine).... and actually felt great about seizing the day .Here comes the future without being shackled by booze and it'll be tough but I'm really looking forward to it!
    Hurray for us all non drinkers of 2019.....

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  21. Hi Sober Mummy! I'm approaching one year sober (23rd January, woohoo!) and can honestly say it's been the best decision I ever made. I've read many awesome books on drinking/sobriety (some memoir-y like yours, others more sort of textbooks/facts around addiction) and finally got on to yours and I love it. I love all the stories, all the voices and the sober blogosphere is an amazing place - I have made some incredible friendships here. Anyway, I wanted to say hello, cheer you on and also let you know I'm loving your book. Best, Anna x

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  22. Dear Clare, I am SO SO HAPPY that I've read your book! I am 1000% motivated and I'm sure I can make it! I even feel that the Ugly Wine Witch is afraid of me :-) I'm only at day 4 and already feeling so much better. Nothing can stop me from staying sober. Every day I read a post in your blog, love it! Thank you so much to have helped me to get the oxygen back in my life!!!

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  23. Deepbreath! here goes. Hi Clair, I have just sat down glass of wine in hand. Ssshhhing the little people In my life irritated and tired from today's hangover. I started to read your book this morning, Now bookmarked at page 72. While I've never finished a book nor retained any content in my entire life I haven't put it down, theres a possibility of finishing this today if alchol wasent on the menu this evening. My dream is to find someone to write my life story - no connection to the drink. Other demons, life experiences but foremost to be accepted and to to heal.
    The reason I have contacted you today is to say thankyou. For the first time since I can remember you have given me hope. Thankyou x

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