Monday, 28 May 2018

You are a Superhero!



I was sent a wonderful Elizabeth Gilbert quote today, which I had to share:

"The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong and they handled it.

They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it.

Those women are my superheroes."

And those women are my superheroes too.  And those women are you. Because if you are fighting an addiction, then you are handling it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days.

It's really easy to feel angry at the cards that you've been dealt, to tell yourself it's not fair. Because it isn't fair.

I have spent many an evening glaring secretly at Mr SM as he sips his large glass of wine, then puts the bottle back in the fridge without feeling the need to finish it. How can he do that?

But the truth is that dealing with your addiction and coming out the other side will make you a superhero. 

You'll discover a strength you never knew you had. I'm not entirely sure about 'grace.' I still don't feel terribly graceful, but I'm not going to argue with Elizabeth Gilbert.

You'll find that you like yourself again, and you like other people more, because you realise that beneath all the messiness of relationships and friendships, they're dealing with shit that's going wrong too.

It'll make you brave. Because once you've faced your fears and your demons and won, you'll realise that you can do it again and again. Next time shit goes wrong, (and it will at some point), you'll know exactly how to deal with it.

But the problem is that we often keep all the stuff we're dealing with quiet, because we're ashamed, because we don't want to put a downer on the conversation, or because we don't think people will understand. I didn't tell most people I'd quit drinking for years.

So, as a result, no-one tells you how strong and brave and extraordinary you are.

So I'm going to. Listen up, because this is important.

YOU ARE A SUPERHERO. YOU ARE STRONG, BRAVE AND EXTRAORDINARY. 

Be proud of yourself. Stick your face on that picture of Wonder Woman and put it on the fridge so you can remind yourself every day what a hero you are.

There's lots more information and inspiration on the SoberMummy Facebook page: click here ('like' page to stay updated)

To read (or listen to) my book, The Sober Diaries, click here UK, here USA, or here Australia.

To listen to my TEDx talk on Making Sober Less Shameful click here.

Love to all you superheroes,

SM x

27 comments:

  1. I have been meaning to comment for ages, just not had the courage I guess. I am now 129 days sober and that is thanks to you and The Sober Dairies. Inspirational. I want so much to feel strong both physically and mentally and now feel as if I am at last turning that corner. Thank you for being there in book form and virtually - seriously would not have got past the 100 days without you!


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Huge congrats on 129 days! That’s amazing! 🙌🏻😘🙌🏻

      Delete
  2. Love Elizabeth Gilbert. And love that quote! Sent it to my daughter, a nearly non-drinker but who handles such a load as a single mom, w/o complaint and doing-doing whatever she needs to to make it all work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Single mums are superheroes too! ❤️

      Delete
  3. I’m really struggling at the mo and need to find my inner super hero quick! I did dry jan with out a prob and felt better than I’d felt in a long while. It’s all gone down hill from there though. Keep managing a few days and then hit the wine again despite knowing it is damaging my health and makes me feel awful because I then don’t sleep and my anxiety goes through the roof. I have a drink to blot out my worries but they only come back with a vengeance. How stupid am I! Sorry I’m wallowing in it a bit this morning. It’s exhausting putting a front on everyday. I’m a professional with an amazing family and people are always commenting on how much I smile but underneath the front I’m an exhausted wreck! They say a smile hides a million sorrows. I feel so weak and pathetic and a failure at everything. I’ve just finished reading your book and it was like you were writing about me! Perhaps today is the day I will find my superhero strength as I start back at the beginning at day one. Sorry to moan x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I’m so sorry, Anonymous. I remember feeling just like that, and all I can say is that it can and will get better, you just have to believe! Sending love and strength xxx

      Delete
    2. Sorry to hear you have been struggling. I hope things have
      improved since you posted. It is hard! We have all had (and continue to have) those days. I got my 6 month mark last week and some days I just have to accept as a day that feels like a downer. And that is absolutely ok! Be kind to yourself x

      Delete
  4. Day 42 for me. I started the year determined to "cut back" - last year was not a good one, with lots of stress, and I don't think I managed double figures AF in the second half of the year. I started Jan promising myself 2 days off a week. This increased to 3 or 4 as I soon discovered that on the days I WAS drinking that I was making up for the days off!! Finally accepted that moderation simply is not for me. And as I keep explaining to friends, my book of drunken stories is already full... I have the odd wobble but am using the Becks Blue, have found a couple of AF sparkling wines and am drinking LOTS of sparkling water. Am pleased to report that I have not avoided socialising and have had a couple of truly great nights out, made even better surprisingly, by my not drinking. Thank you Clare. Your book has been just about perfect timing for me! You are being a great help to a lot of us out there who totally relate to your experience with the wine witch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay! Well done you! The trick is in that realisation that moderation is not our thing! 😘

      Delete
  5. Love this!!!! I’ve got a vision of all us sober warriors walking around wearing capes!!! We are definitely strong and brave, what we are doing takes a lot of courage. We are making a break away from the drinking “norm”, true warrior style!! And if you’ve had a few day ones, just keep at it because one day it will be your last day one and you will have finally saved yourself!!!! True hero’s!!! ����������‍♀️Xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. I found your book today and am halfway through.

    I laughed so much at you recounting your House 4 tales. I was there too - L3 through to U5 and in House 4. Mrs Longley, Mrs Lewis and Mrs Izitt all correctly predicted my fate. There was a particularity memorable drinking trip to the marina which didn’t end that well...

    13 years sober now - thank you for your book. It has made me laugh, squirm with recognition and reminded me why I stopped drinking in the first place. I’ll be following your blog from now on. Thank you xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello fellow Roedeanian! Did you throw up on the pier too? I did! 😘😂😘

      Delete
  7. Well I’ve managed day 1! I just thought I’d look at the moany post I posted on the 29th May! Jeez just shows how the wine witch erodes your self esteem. The woman that wrote that is not me, it’s me in the grasp of that horrible wine hag! I feel so much better even after one day of AF and I can feel my inner Wonder Woman trying to resurface! Feeling positive ��. Apologies again for such a moany previous post! Thanks Clare for your inspiration, sure feels good to know I’m not alone ����

    ReplyDelete
  8. I’ve been trying to stop drinking on and off for about 6 years now, knowing that it isnt good for me and that life will be so much better without the booze and inevitable hangover! I stumbled across your book online and was instantly drawn to it, ordered it and it arrived this morning, I’m almost half way through and think it’s fabulous. You certainly do describe what I believe most women go through and how they feel. Your funny lines have had me laughing out loud too.
    I am also reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and could not believe the synchronicity when I looked at your blog for the first time ever and saw this post! This has confirmed to me that I am definitely on the right path and doing the right thing.
    Thank you so much for your wonderful book and funny lines, it’s great to see that there is life and laughter after booze :)
    Xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It’s a sign! So glad you found me! 😘

      Delete
  9. Hi anonymous who posted on 29 and 31st, don't be hard on yourself, we all hate ourselves when we want to give up alcohol but can't. Believe in yourself and well done for managing day 1. You can do this! Try the newbies section, there's people there going through exactly the same thing, although you do have to scroll a long way down to get to the latest comments. Good luck!! X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks very much for your comment! I didn’t know there was a newbies section so will check it out! Thank you for your help x

      Delete
  10. Hello Clare! Thanks so much for a super boost post! I'm five months AF and have just had my first sober holiday in Italy for the half term. It's been wonderful!!! I was slightly apprehensive as it's my first sober holiday in decades but it's been absolute bliss!! I managed to find some AF beer but even the desire to drink that dwindled after a few days. I've enjoyed every minute of this break and no hangovers! We've been on day trips I'd never have done in the past as I'd have been too knackered and grumpy from the previous night's indulgence and throughout the day would have been counting the minutes until lunchtime where I could feed the wine witch once more. I'm glad she's gone. She visits from time to time but always has the door slammed firmly in her face! Thanks again Clare and the best of luck to everyone. My 'pink cloud' moment is finally here and life is good!!! Jacqueline xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ps. I won't lie, I had a moment of panic when the drinks trolley came round on the plane and early on in the holiday I watched people drinking wine in a restaurant one night... but these are all 'first times' after a life long habit. Then I relaxed and the pressure just faded away. Jacqueline xxx

      Delete
    2. Whoop whoop! So pleased you had a fab holiday! It took me a while to stop getting a pang at the aeroplane drinks trolley! Xxx

      Delete
  11. I would like to buy your book. I am in the US and Amazon states it’s unavailable. How can I purchase your book? Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello! It was unavailable on Kindle for a while, but now back on! Also in hardback (pricey I’m afraid) and audio! Hope you enjoy it! 😘

      Delete
  12. I Just checked Amazon and they have this book available now. Not sure about before. I purchased it for my Kindle but paperback and hardcover are available. I'm about half way through this book...VERY worthwhile read. Love it! (Michigan)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad you’re enjoying it! Thank you 😘

      Delete
  13. This has made me smile 😊 always fancied myself as a She-Ra. Think it was the boots and the sweetheart neckline on that dress! Xxx

    ReplyDelete
  14. Where have you been all my life, Claire?

    ReplyDelete