Saturday 11 June 2016

Johnny Depp

I really want to give Johnny Depp a big hug.

There's nothing especially new there, in that I don't expect I'd ever have turned down a snuggle with Mr Depp, but right now he could definitely use one.

I know his wife, Amber Heard, alleges that he physically and emotionally abused her over a number of years, and I absolutely do not condone domestic violence, however no-one really knows what goes on in anyone else's marriage, and whatever the rights and wrongs of the situation, Johnny is obviously a man in trouble.

When Johnny split up with Vanessa Paradis, mother of his two children, and partner of fourteen years, in 2012, he stayed sober. He said this:

In terms of the breakup, I definitely wasn't going to rely on the drink to ease things or cushion the blow or cushion the situation 'cause that could have been fatal.

I felt it was my duty to be real clear throughout that. I had something pretty serious to focus on, really, which was making sure that my kids were gonna be cool.

That is exactly how I felt when, after eight months sober, I got a cancer diagnosis. Drinking through it might have killed me, and certainly would have made me unable to focus on my children.

(See my post: When Life Throws You Lemons).

However, this time Johnny hasn't been able to follow his own advice, and he has the puffy, vacant, haunted look of a drinker self medicating his way through trauma.

Alcohol addiction shows no respect for fame or fortune. In fact, the famous seem to have a higher likelihood of substance abuse than we lesser mortals.

I imagine that this is partly down to the stresses that come with fame. Depp has talked poignantly in the past about how his dream would be being able to take his children to Disneyworld like any ordinary Dad.

I never wanted to be the guy people looked at. I felt I could only be myself when I was alone, that I turned into some kind of novelty. The only way I could get through that time was to drink.

I also think that we drinkers have a tendency to think that we are 'special', in some way, and that the ordinary rules don't apply to us. (How I used to laugh in the face of government drinking guidelines). Celebs, I imagine, are even more prone to this dangerous arrogance.

But whatever the trigger for the drinking, the reason we all end up doing too much of it is exactly the same. As Johnny says:

I was poisoning myself with alcohol and medicating myself. I was trying not to feel things, and that's ridiculous.

Oh yes. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt.

So let's all give Johnny a big, virtual hug. He's been sober before - for years at a time - and he can do it again. He doesn't even need to rely on finding sober friends on the internet - in the past he's travelled with his own personal 'sober buddy' to keep him on the straight and narrow.

Do you think he might be recruiting?

Happy, sober Saturday to you all!

SM x

19 comments:

  1. I'm in. Alcohol just pulls our nobleness right out from under us. Johnny was so noble when he separated from his girlfriend of many years, add a little alcohol and drugs and, "Poof!" Gone. So many sad stories in the news, as always, these days. While I in no way condone what the drunken swimmer at Stanford did to his unconscious victim, I feel sorrow that once again alcohol has ruined two promising young lives.

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    1. I didn't see that Stanford story here in the UK. I'll Google it x

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  2. Happy Sober Saturday, SoberMummy :) We are definitely all connected. I have a lot more empathy for others dealing with alcohol problems now that I have admitted to myself that I have a problem too. <3

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    1. Me too, CWD. Happy sober Sunday to you! Xx

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  3. OMG I really needed to read your blog today. I've been cruising through the last few weeks, but had a MAJOR craving for wine just earlier brought on by gardening (I hate weeding), my daughter been unable to do a headstone (which led to tears), burning Jacket potatoes (I have a new fan oven which seems very enthusiastic), and not having the right fizzy pop in the cupboard! Reading that and seeing that written down I seem pathetic... but out of nowhere it triggered a massive need for a large glass of wine !! I haven't had a craving for weeks and it really knocked me for 6 ! Luckily there is no wine in the house and my hubby saved the day with a lovely cuppa and piece of dairy milk and the feeling is passing !! Maybe a cuddle from Jonny Depp would help too !!!

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    1. That should say head stand not headstone! !

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    2. Ah, the restorative powers of Dairy Milk ;-) Well done,WM! Big hugs, and hope the daughter cracks that headstone! X

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  4. Funny, I've been troubled today. The thought of another Heron Valley fizz and pellegrino just wasn't working and I wanted a grown up drink. Didn't though but there was definitely a craving and little things have been bugging me, breaking and having to fix the loo roll holder and some crap painting that will need redoing. Stupid little things that don't really matter but have made me irritable and wanting a drink. In bed now with tea and so passes another sober day. Love to you all.

    Justonemore

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    1. I know that feeling. My dishwasher broke for the third time this year. I could have downed a bottle easily. It passes. Huge hugs x

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  5. Poor old Johnny Depp has had a major problem with alcohol way before he met Amber and unfortunately, she has a rather famous problem with her scruples. The combination was always going to be difficult and in the end fatal. She could not fix his drink problem, probably thought she could with some love and care. Until he reaches his rock bottom he's not coming out of this. Let's hope he concentrates his love on the children and realises that it's time to leave all that shit behind and climb out of that hole.

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  6. I'm sorry. As a former victim of domestic violence, I cannot feel any sympathy for Johnny Depp.

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    1. I understand that, WoS, and don't wish to make light of domestic violence in any way. Hugs x

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  7. I agree,no sympathy for Johnny Depp and the idea of giving him a'big virtual hug' makes my skin crawl.

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    1. I hear you, Jen, but as far as I am aware there isn't yet any proof that Amber's accusations are true? I'm going with the adage of innocent until proven guilty for the time being....

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    2. Photos of bruising,incriminating texts are the evidence.What else do you need?An eye witness?Most cases of domestic violence are carried out behind closed doors,witnessed only by children.Your poor Johnny Depp has hired the best lawyer money can buy and will no doubt tear apart any credibility the victim offers.Attitudes such as yours,disbelieving the victim unless she provides indisputable evidence such as an eyewitness is what allows these perpetrators to get off scot free and continue to offend.It also,sadly is the reason so many victims do not come forward to police as they are afraid that people like you will not believe them and instead want to hug the offender.

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    3. There does seem little doubt that he threw his mobile phone at her (hence the bruising). Naomi Campbell did the same to her cleaner! Vanessa Paradis lived with him for 14 years and says he is not a violent man. You may be right, Jen, but it may also be the case that Amber is not being entirely honest. That's what court cases are for, no?

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    4. I'm with you Jen. I despair that the man always gets the benefit of the doubt and the women (usually women) are not believed. There is a lot of evidence from a number of sources that Depp had been abusing Heard for years. And as is typical, he was always very sorry and she kept giving him another chance. It could all be my experience.

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  8. I agree with all these points. Domestic violence is a terrible, terrible, cruel injustice. And hidden out of sight with only a small brave minority who speak out. While I don't want to give Johnny a hug, I sympathize with the alcohol problem.
    It makes people do things they may not otherwise do. Drink is the complete puppet master with the real you taking a back seat on a wild ride. Maybe, and I have to believe, the drunken Stanford swimmer would not have choosen his actions if he'd been sober that night. Your post SoberMummy is a stern reminder that drinking alcohol has no happy endings, for anyone.

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