Thursday 30 June 2016

Clearing the Decks

We overly enthusiastic imbibers tend to be masters of procrastination. Never do something today that can be put off until tomorrow.

This is partly because drinking (and the after effects of) takes up so much time, but it's also because we get so used to medicating away any inconvenient feelings - like anger, fear and boredom - that we start to avoid any inconvenient tasks as well.

I keep a running list on iPhone notes of things I have to do. It gets longer and shorter, but never entirely goes away. And I've realised that the problem with it is the number of really old tasks that I've become adept at ignoring.

Some of these I avoid because they are really hard. They'll take a long time (like the tax return), or a lot of courage (like sending the book to agents). But some are tiny little easy peasy ones that I've just taken an irrational dislike to.

The problem with all these ancient items clogging up the to do list is that they start to fester, to go toxic. It's like when a toddler drops a half eaten egg sandwich between the back seats of the car. After a while everything starts to smell.

You see, procrastination isn't just the thief of time - it's the stealer of serenity. Those tough jobs that you never get around to tackling are the ones that keep you awake in the small hours of the night, jeering at you.

So I have a new system. I used to make myself tackle at least three things on the list every day. But, obviously, I'd always do the easy ones.

Now I still do three a day, but one of them has to be a tricky bugger. Something from the dusty, cobwebby section of the list.

So slowly, slowly, one day at a time, just like quitting the booze, I'm clearing away all the toxic waste.

Which is why I found myself yesterday having a smear test (pap smear to you Americans).

That one had been on the list for nearly a whole year.

I hate smear tests. They're so undignified.  There you are, naked from the waist down, legs akimbo while the nurse - rootling around down there - starts making polite conversation about the weather (so British).

Plus, I'm aware that most men and women under the age of thirty five are totally unfamiliar with the concept of female pubic hair which they wax and bully into extinction.

I'm always terrified that the nurse will take one look at my neatly trimmed lady garden and run screaming from the examination room in horror.

But now it's done. All over. Expunged from the list. And it's like another little weight being removed from the shoulders.

If you've only just quit then don't worry about The List. Just wallow in a box set and eat cake. You're doing enough. But if you're out the other side then start clearing the decks. It's awesome.

Love SM x

28 comments:

  1. Ah, yes, the avoidance of anything that's the least bit uncomfortable. I do that. Or maybe I should say I did that. There's a lot of smelly egg sandwiches in my life, maybe I'll try your new system!
    I'm happy that you and your lady garden went to the doctor, well done!
    That particular task has been on my list for well over a year. Maybe even five as I come to think of it. As always, thank you for writing, I really enjoy reading every entry.

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  2. I am home I'll in bed with a chest infection and full of the miseries, reading about your 'lady garden' has cheered me up no end ha ha. There is a sentence I never imagined writing. Mine is a little more 70's themed shall we say. Now I must read the rest of the post again 'cos I am sure it wasn't all about that.
    Anyone been able to get onto Annie's blog recently? I saw she had posted but then must have missed the window the blog was open.

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    1. She only reappeared for twenty four hours, then went quiet again. I've e-mailed her, but no reply yet. Hope she's okay.

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    2. Ok, that makes sense. I thought maybe I needed a code or something to get in. Will keep looking periodically. Thanks for letting me know.

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    3. Thanks, was curious about Annie too. I, too, hope she is okay.

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    4. I too have been concernedly following Annie's absence and going private. Sending good thoughts her way.

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    5. I am here. Sorry for worrying you. Annie x

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  3. Thanks SM, I know that what you are saying is right, I just really, really struggle with the lists and getting things done. As for the smear, it is so far back in the list it is written with a quill. Of course the annoying thing is that once a biggie has been completed (e.g. tax return) you feel like Ripley surveying the incinerated pods and that's a good feeling, and of course it was all much easier than you thought. Bloody lists.

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  4. Lists, I thought I might have put them all behind me today. I periodically buy a few weeks of lottery tickets, so I have an e mail account - just so that I can day dream occasionally when I am walking the dog or battling the M5/M4/M25. Anyway, I got an e mail this morning saying congratulations - check your account. I've had one or two before and its usually just a free ticket. Anyway, I like to tease myself for a hour or two just imagining, no more fucking M5/M4/M25, someone else to do my lists, someone else to go to the recycling, not having to do job interviews in Bristol or think about front tyres - you get the picture. So, I walk the dogs, hang the washing out Its not raining - yet) and sort out the Tesco's delivery and then check the results......... and yes, I've won £127!!! Not quite enough to retire on but it bought a smile to my face and pays for a tyre .......... so not all bad, actually far from bad. In the old days, it would have called for a bottle of champagne but Heron Valley will do instead. I am actually loafing at home today unable to get into my work e mail so that's equally OK. More seriously, I am concerned about Annie and I hope she returns to us soon no matter what the news.

    Be good.

    Justonemore

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  5. This put a smile to my face. I doubled up on horrible jobs at the doctors last week and had my smear ( we chatted about Brexit during the embarrassing bit) and I had some other tests that needed doing. My blood pressure was the lowest ever (nurse was really shocked) and I could proudly tell the truth when she asked me about alcohol units. My body is clearly appreciating 10 weeks off the booze - as is my to do list.
    Thanks for the positive helpful blogs - they really keep me going. Xx

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  6. That's on my list too. I hate the thought of lying on my back, legs straddled, and left there for half an hour. It always feels like I'm in a middle of a bad episode of Candid Camera. Love the Three Buggers Method. xx

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  7. A great line in a story yesterday about the US comic actress Fran Drescher and her cancer experiences. She said, 'My feet were in the stirrups more often than Roy Rogers' - along with funny, of course, it's an immediate 'age tell' for anyone who 'gets' it.

    Procrastination a huuuge problem for me...and of course, all the while one procrastinates further crap/clutter/chores are continuing to build. Need to give your technique a try.

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  8. I once read a book an article about efficiency in which the expert advised if a task takes under 3 minutes -- including something you're alerted to by email and returning email -- do it immediately so these don't add up. I do and it's awesome!

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  9. I love lists! Most weeks I have one I work through although it's a daily list at the moment with it being end of term/start of summer holidays. Full time kids for 7 weeks. Oh joy! I am working hard on just trying to enjoy the time rather than panic. Off to France soon. Last year was my first sober holiday. Seems like a lifetime ago! So, more lists to get us there and cope with all the daily chores before I go. I fantasise about the day I don't have so much to do but then again that feels like wishing my life away. I still feel like I have to force myself to take one day at a time. I still have fleeting thoughts of drinking but writing lists and achieving things helps x PS I sometimes add things to my list that I've already done just so I can tick it!

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  10. I love lists. I even write things on them that I've already done so it looks impressive when I cross more stuff off !!

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  11. Since I've been drinking for months now, I have so much stuff that needs to be fixed and taken care off. But drinking was more important so here I am... trying to pull my shit together. I usually run mental lists. In my head. But when you are tired and hungover, it is difficult to remember what needs to be done.

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  12. In hysterics with your lady garden talk!

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  13. I must be a bit odd but really don't care about smear tests. My first one at age 20 showed abnormalities so then it was off to day surgery for laser treatment. Have subsequently had more abnormal smears as well as four kids in the last 20 years so have been poked and prodded a lot! As far as procrastination and lists go I resonate with you all!

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  14. Thanks for this morning's chuckle...sorry, but I think the guys have things a bit easier. I need to have the ole colonoscopy done this year...oh joy! I have so much more time on my hands when not drinking, but yes, some things are still on the back burner and then I feel guilty, which does me no good! Going to remember your theory on tackling the lists!

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  15. So funny how we finally get around to "living" ... you made me laugh. I'm a super 'list' geek, but I also like the cake and couch on occasion. It's all good. ♥

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  16. Hi, Day 11 for me. I discovered your blog on my Day 3 and cannot tell you how crucial it has been in stopping me reaching for the Malbec ( Rosé/Peroni/Bacardi/whatever is on hand when the latter are all gone) So thought I'd stop lurking and say hello. ;)

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    1. Thats about how soon I started w SM after beginning my sober journey. Six months today. It works!!

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    2. Well done Northwoman1996, that is amazing!

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    3. Welcome, Catherine! So glad you found us, and HUGE CONGRATS NorthWoman! Awesome!

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  17. So guilty of this. Doesn't it always. Without fail. Just feel better once you start going? Start working?

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  18. I too have begun to clear out the corners of my house as well as my life....am a hoarder..

    100 days sober today...THANKYOU. SM and all those who post here couldn't have got here without you....the bunnies are so sweet, and the meadow smells so fresh..xx

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    1. That's awesome, PhoenixRising! Huge congratulations! And massive cyber hugs xxx

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