Wednesday 13 April 2016

Getting to 100 Days

If you quit drinking around New Year, then right about now you should be getting to 100 days!

Huge congratulations to SFM, Justonemore, Dr C and my e-mail friend CB for doing just that. Awesome work, my friends.

I looked back at the post I wrote on my own centenary (click here).

The reason 100 days is so significant is not just because it's a pretty number with three digits. It's a massive achievement.

One hundred one-days-at-a-time. Hundreds of battles with the wine witch. Endless sitting on your hands, gritting your teeth and mainlining hot chocolate.

The other reason it's so significant, is that for many of us, the 100 day mark was about when it started getting easier.

There's no immediate change. Everything on this journey happens slowly, slowly. BUT there will come a day, around that point, when you realise that you're not thinking about booze any more.

It's like being stuck in a cell for years, then discovering a window you've never spotted before and, through it, glimpsing freedom.

There will still be cravings. There will still be dark days. There will be episodes of PAWS. BUT you start to realise what it's all been for.

Leonard Cohen wrote:

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

And that, for me, is how 100 days feels.

(By the way, here's what Leonard Cohen said about drugs: The recreational, the obsessional and the pharmaceutical - I've tried them all. I would be enthusiastically promoting any one of them if they worked.)

You've spent more than three months discovering all the cracks that you used to fill by pouring booze into them (not realising that it was only running out the bottom). You become painfully aware of how imperfect you are....

...but then, around day 100, the light starts to get in. And it all makes sense.

And you realise that without the preceding darkness, you'd never have appreciated the simple beauty of those shafts of light.

And you find that your cracks, your imperfections, are what make you strong and beautiful. They give you wisdom, resilience and empathy.

Once that light gets in, you never want to go back to the endless, oppressive gloom. And that makes the next 100 days so much easier.

So, welcome to the field of bunnies, all you wonderful, strong 100 dayers.

(If you've not heard of the field of bunnies, and want to know how to get there, then click here).

You rock. All of you. Whether you're on Day 100, or Day 1.

SM x

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16 comments:

  1. A 100 days, and yes, it definitely is getting easier. I can go days without thinking about alcohol. But be careful! And don't be complacent - it's all too easy to think you're 'cured' and are now ready to moderate. Have thought that myself but I know deep down that for me that is impossible. So I remind myself of the tremendous benefits of being AF and how low and miserable I could be when life was ruled by the winewitch.

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  2. A 100 days, and yes, it definitely is getting easier. I can go days without thinking about alcohol. But be careful! And don't be complacent - it's all too easy to think you're 'cured' and are now ready to moderate. Have thought that myself but I know deep down that for me that is impossible. So I remind myself of the tremendous benefits of being AF and how low and miserable I could be when life was ruled by the winewitch.

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    1. Dr C! Congrats! So sorry I didn't mention you. I'm amending my post right now! xx

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  3. Congrats 100 day friends. You are all awesome and inspirational.

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  4. Can't wait until I get to 100 days! Only 33 more days to go!!!

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  5. You all can do it! Baby steps! We have! We are your examples that it can be accomplished! One day at a time! Keep it simple! Don't pick up that first wine glass.
    Almost 13 months! And many bottles a night gone!!!!

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  6. Hurray to the 100 day club! I can't wait to be you!

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  7. Hi SM
    Great post as always, that is what is keeping me going! Getting to the bunnies and 100 days. I have fear of missing out or FOMO as my kids. Everyone else having a good time at the field of bunnies, I want to get there too! Day 17!

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  8. Sorry I meant FOMO as my kids say-lol!

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  9. 110 days here and what with a PAWS weekend and first holiday without buckets of wine, I am wondering whether it does actually get easier!
    I think it's almost like a death in that your "firsts" are always going to be tough whatever the number.
    I'm not going to dress it up, this holiday has been tough without wine. Holidays and wine are such a strong association. I think when I return to the real world next week I will continue to see the benefit and reminisce fondly, along with ticking off another first! xx

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    1. I agree. I cried a lot at the start and anything could set me off including looking at some beautiful new wine glasses I had been given! I had my first sober holiday to the south of france last summer. It was hard but I was so glad when I got home and hadn't drunk. It got easier after that.

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  10. Today is 101 for me. I was at work and realized "I've been sober for more than 100 days! Whoop!" I never thought I could or would do this. (Long time lurker, first time commenter)

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  11. 100 days feels a long way off...day 12 for me today. I must get there! Annie x

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  12. Well done to all who have got to 100 days - hope it serves as encouragement to everyone else - you can do it!

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  13. I got to 100 days a few weeks ago! I didn't feel like anything really changed (for me, about a month in I noticed a big change) but it did feel like a huge achievement. I might going through a little PAWS right now..It's OK though because life is infinitely better than it used to be.

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  14. Passed 100 days (of completely a/f, at home - my necessary goal) about a week ago. Amazes me. When I started.....I could barely imagine a week. Today, driving home from a luncheon event, kind of jazzed, I felt lonely, missing my spouse, going home to...no one. Gave into it for a bit....then my mood got better. And I suddenly realized -- no, zero, zilch, nada, none, NO thought of a drink crossed my mind in that a-little-bit-sorry-for-myself reverie!

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