I was reading Angie's blog this morning (My quest for an alcohol free life).
I've been following Angie, a lovely Australian nurse, for over a year. She got as far as 100 days once, but then disappeared. We all missed her terribly. Then she came back. Back at Day One.
But this time she sounds different. She's got to around four months, and I honestly think she's cracked it. Go Angie!
Angie was talking about a wonderful day out with her husband and son, picnicking by the river, and how she was overwhelmed with sadness, because it would have been perfect if they'd been able to share a bottle of wine.
Fear of missing out (or, as my children would say, FOMO) is a big problem for we newly sober people. Even after thirteen months I still get hit by it from time to time.
There you are, having a blast, when out of nowhere a voice pipes up it'd be better with a glass of vino, wouldn't it? You're really missing out.
Now we're not very good at missing out. If we were, then we would probably be good at moderation *rolls on floor laughing*.
When FOMO hits me I remind myself that the picture of me calmly, and happily, sipping one glass of wine is a myth.
Because one glass of wine doesn't really do anything, does it? You might as well drink a glass of elderflower cordial.
All one glass of wine does is make you want more. It doesn't leave you feeling better, it leaves you feeling dissatisfied.
So, you wouldn't be sitting there drinking one glass, you'd be sharing a bottle. And all the while you'd be trying to make sure that you were getting at least your fair share of that bottle.
And, when the bottle was gone, you'd rearrange whatever plans you had had to ensure that you could carry on drinking.
And by the end of the evening you'd be tetchy, or morose, or boring, or embarrassing, or something you didn't want to be.
So, you're not really missing out at all, because that one glass is a total fantasy.
What you are missing out on is waking up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning and sweating booze.
You're missing out on wasting the morning feeling yucky and regretful.
You're missing out on telling yourself yet again that this is the day you'll start being sensible and drink mindfully and moderately, only at weekends, and never more than two glasses.
So, next time you get an attack of the FOMOs, remind yourself what you really are missing.
Love to you all,