Thursday, 10 March 2016

What Do You Think?

Over the last few months, many of you have posted, or e-mailed me privately, saying that you think this blog should be turned into a book.

Well, I'm listening.

I'm going to pitch the idea to a few literary agents. Here's what I'm thinking:

I've read pretty much every drinking memoir and self help tome out there (see Sober Mummy's Book List for my favourites), and I think this book will be quite different.

It'll be based on the story of my first year - using extracts from this blog - but interspersed with loads of practical help  (e.g. What to expect in the first month, how to party sober, dealing with cravings etc).

But the main thing is that, whilst almost all of the existing books are fairly serious and worthy, this one will be upbeat and - I hope - funny.

It's not aimed just at people who see themselves as 'alcoholics', but at the millions of women worldwide like you, and like me.

Women who viewed themselves as bon viveurs and connoisseurs, but who've begun to realise that it's all getting a bit out of control.

I want people to come away feeling inspired, uplifted and excited about the whole idea of giving up booze, to see it not as a terrible necessity, but as a fabulous lifestyle choice.

In short, I want to start a revolution.

I also want to include an epilogue, because this blog isn't just about me - it's about all of you. So I want to feature some of your stories too (only with your permission, obviously).

I think there's a huge market out there because, after all, this blog has had three quarters of a million page views with absolutely zero promotion. Just secret Googling, and word of mouth.

So, when I get back from Jamaica (did I tell you I was going to Jamaica?), I'm going to send off my pitch.

But, rather than me doing the hard sell, I thought it would be much better coming from the people that really matter, and really know - my readers.

Can you help me?

Just post a comment below, saying whether you would buy this book and/or recommend it, and if so why (if not, why not)? Then I'm going to send the agents a link direct you all your (unedited) comments.

If you've not posted before, and aren't sure how to go about it, just go to www.blogger.com and set up a blogger profile (which is completely anonymous). That'll enable you to comment on any Blogger blogs, under whichever pseudonym you choose.

Thank you, thank you. And watch this space.

SM x


63 comments:

  1. Yay SoberMummy. Would definitely buy your book. Mainly because it is sunny, cheerful but above all hopeful. You are not full of stories of gloom and dreary anecdotes, nor are you condescending. I have bought some other books about not drinking but could never identify with the protagonists. Like you, my children are healthy, clean and involved, my house is tidy, my bills are paid on time, I have never lost my job or a relationship because of drinking. It was all just getting a bit too much. The ladette generation is heading towards middle age and we are reevaluating the way we live our lives. Having spoken to some friends here we all seem to be cutting down or giving up the bottle. We can't deal with the hangovers, the wrinkles or the spare tyres and we no longer have joy in our vino habits, in fact it is making us feel a bit bleugh. Good luck with your pitch and enjoy your holiday. Thank you!

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  2. Yes, SM would absolutely buy your book two. You are nearly 3 months ahead of me in the stopping drinking thing, and I have followed your blog avidly to find out what to expect next, for practical advice and motivation, for factual clearly-written and well-researched information as well as for sheer entertainment value! Best of luck with the pitch and enjoy Jamaica! X

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  3. Buy your book too, I mean, not book two!

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  4. Dear SM, I say you go girl! I was just visiting a friend in Denver last week, she is six years sober, holding it pretty much together, but still has those occasional thoughts of "maybe just a few" and still needs to be motivated . So, I told her about your blog, how you are sharp as a tack, able to poke fun at yourself and yet address the very things that are going through a lot of women's heads when it comes to drinking. You have a knack for analogies, for concisely sharing valuable information, that is serious when it needs to be and funny and encouraging, all in one blog. And I love your idea on the book content....just up your alley. There are plenty of books with the autobiographical info, this would be something new and fresh and NEEDED. If you ever need a story about a gal who went off the drinking deep end because of a life event (divorce), I am your gal! For ten years I have tried the conventional methods of tackling my drinking problem. It has only been when I went of the box, with blogs, interactive websites and reading books that explored the mind, that I have been able to feel like I found a tailored-made method of helping me kick this addiction back into Never Never Land. Thank you for being a part of that!

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  5. I would love this book. On day 1, I was depressed about what lay ahead. Wasn't sure I could do it. What started as a month off the drink, grew to three then to 12 months. Now after reading your blog I know its forever and I'm thrilled about it. I eat well, I excercise, I preach to my small people about the importance of healthy mind, and body. I feel true to my values and authentic. Not like a tragic, struggling fraud.

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  6. Simply yes! Sober, positive, life altering blog! I know I have followed in your footsteps 2 weeks behind you. I have found it insightful, humorous, genuine and most of all inspiring. Your voice gave me the hope I needed in order to start and maintain my sobriety.
    Boston Strong/ Boston Sober

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  7. Yes, yes I would buy the book and then some. There is something about your writing style that is so familiar and honest that Its more like getting an email from my slightly wiser sister. I love the idea of subscribing to the organic kale smoothie, vegan hipster healthy lifestyle blogs where you drink only recycled green tea and grow your own tofu but the smugness of the redeemed is sometimes suffocating!! (Not to mention the #feelingsoblessedoverkillquotes) You have somehow managed to write about making positive changes nearly daily for more than a year without ever navel gazing, delivering a sermon, false promises or with an air of superiority... A feat!! Perhaps even more of a feat- you have inspired more people than you will probably ever know by being brave enough to share your story so we can sit at home and say "you too? I thought it was just me that felt like that" xxx

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  8. I would definitely buy your book! I would also recommend it! (Hmmm…if I use it as a book club book, can you fly across the pond and be our guest speaker?) Your blog posts give me hope that I can persevere with my non drinking endeavor. I find myself constantly going back to where I am right now (day 33!) and rereading. I think your blog NEEDS to be published. I know that I need it!

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  9. Go for it! I would buy the book and recommend it. I hadn't considered stopping drinking till I started following your blog. I wanted to be able to drink in moderation. I read Jason vale and didn't like it ( too patronising) and other stories I read were full blown tales of hitting rock bottom which I hadn't. I was just feeling ashamed of the hold wine had over me and discovering a whole world out there online has been life changing. I have no desire to drink again at the moment, but there have been times in the last 10 months when it's been so hard and this blog has helped keep me focused! Good luck x

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    1. I also wanted to say that I often want to reread parts of the blog and can't find them (I use my mobile phone to read it and comment) so to have it all in a book would be amazing and so useful x

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  10. DITTO to all the above. Your book will be a hugged success! I feel so HAPPY knowing I’m a teeny-weeny, tiny part of your beginning into this new path in your life. The flood gates are about to open and hundreds of thousands will be so grateful for your message. Plus, you’ll make some publisher a lot of $$$!

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  11. I think there are enough memoirs out there. Your book will be wonderful like you.

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  12. I love this blog...no question that I would buy your book..your writing is so funny,wise and true.I head here first thing every morning for wisdom and laughter.

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  13. I would absolutely buy this book! I started my sober journey just after yours, and reading your blog became a daily ritual for me. I love the idea of a funny uplifting message because lotsof the sober memoirs out there (although inspiring) are a bit gloomy, and fixated with 'rock bottom' stories. i would not only buy the book, I would recommend it for anyone wanting to quit booze. Love this plan, SM xxx

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  14. Yes, I would buy the book. Yes, I would totally recommend the book to others. Yes, you're writing is funny, spot-on, and never preachy...that is why I have found this blog so engaging and unlike others out there. I think you target a HUGE audience that (like me) would rather find a way other than AA (no offense to AA). Your blog is my daily "meeting" and (so far) has worked and given me that continual support that is so critical for success. The first year of your blog is a masterpiece. One last thought - I very much appreciate how you always keep central to your topic...so many bloggers go off on tangents about other things in their lives that can alienate readers. You never do that. Somehow (I don't know how you do this), every post makes me think about this journey in a way I hadn't thought about before. Reading it never gets old. So, it's easy, private, relevant and always fresh. Everything I am looking for (that AA isn't). Thank you so much SM, and best of luck in this!!!

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  15. You would have my money!! We need more of this kind of material out there! Please move ahead and start the revolution!

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  16. Yes! And...yes. You are a wonderful writer with a natural gift. I have made my living as a writer...and I envy the ease and humor - and openness - that you have exhibited in writing about tackling and overcoming an issue of such importance.

    Dry January 2016 made me put a stop to my drinking - (well, I was thinking of it as a temporary halt) - but coming across your blog in very early days...THAT is what has kept me on track and committed to a new way of life, a way of life that you have shown, every day, doesnt have to feel difficult (ok, sometimes it's a little difficult) or deprived.

    I KNEW, have known for years that the amount of drinking I was doing, every single night, was a bad idea - for my physical as well as mental health, for cosmetic reasons (yet despite a huge dose of ego and vanity, staring at my pouchy eyebags every hungover mornng never seemed goad enough) - and I knew, but was loathe to acknowledge, that I had completely lost control, unable to go a single evening (despite every-morning resolutions) without fixing one drink and then....too many.

    In the best of circumstances, I am not someone who would be comfortable wth AA or other in-person group effort. But living in a small community....I simply would not consider walking into a room where I might see a familiar face. The sober-sphere in general is a life-saver (literally) for someone like me, but in particular, THIS blog and
    SoberMummy's caring, encouraging effervescence has made what seemed like an impossible path...entirely do-able. In two words: life-changing.

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  17. Yes, I'd definitely buy your book even though I have no major problem with alcohol but have lost friends to alcoholism. I drink very little but your blog has really helped me break the habit of a nightly glass of wine whilst cooking. I now think - wine or a good night's sleep?. Sleep usually wins! Your blog has really opened my eyes to how much alcohol we drink - it's terrifying.
    YOu are honest, open, incredibly well informed about the topic you write in an interesting way (not preachy) and you're very funny. I imagine your book will be a sort of Bridget Jones Dries Out…. :) (That's a compliment I'm a great fan of BG) Enjoy Jamaica. You deserve it.

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  18. It's a yes from me! I would recommend your book. Your blog has been a lifeline for me. x p.s Have a F.A.B holiday! x

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  19. Well about time SM. I would buy your book in a heartbeat. I think I've said before, it is THE most entertaining read, when I stumbled on it I read it continually from the beginning. I had never even considerd that it was possible to be AF and still enjoy life. In my mind people who gave up drinking were to be pitied, because they could no longer "enjoy" drinking. Then one day I woke up and realised that there was no enjoyment to drinking a bottle of wine a night (not even good wine). I think you hit a nerve with all us middle aged women. As Laura says above, we are well educated, with jobs and nice children and nice clean homes. BUT we are all self medicating with alcohol, we think we deserve it because we are doing a good job in all other areas of our lives. Suddenly its out of control. The market for a book must be huge.

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    1. I think this is such an important point you make, sharon: 'we are all self-medicating with alcohol, we think we DESERVE it because we are doing a good job in all other areas of our lives...' Sooo true, certainly for me.

      I think what SM and other blogs by women recovering or trying to recover has shown..is the HUGE number of women who are functioning on the outside...and struggling so hard within. I think SM's book would tap a vein that would stun most people and certainly sociologists...or whoever it is that try to track this stuff.

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  20. Brilliant idea! I love it. Kind of makes me think of Kaz Cooke's Up the Duff - an hilariously funny but extremely helpful guide to pregnancy - for women looking to kick the booze. I would buy this and read it over and over again. I also would buy the audio book for my long drive to work and the kindle version for my handbag! Good luck.

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  22. you must publish - there is a huge need. Alcohol does not do what people think it does - it's not a happy thing. Your thoughtful but upbeat approach stands out - it's a great blog and it will be a great book.

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  23. Can't wait for the book and would absolutely recommend to others

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  24. Count me in SM. You shine a guiding light on this difficult and challenging problem.

    Justonemore

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  25. I would totally buy this book.

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  27. I am a few weeks into kicking the habit and the BEST and biggest helps to me have been Rachel Black's book, Lotta Dann's book and YOUR BLOG. I would buy any book you wrote in an instant! In fact I'd probably buy a hard copy AND a kindle edition as I do that with books I refer to a lot! I'm an American and can't figure out why all the best books on this subject were written by women in other countries... are we yanks scared to fess up to our horrid habit? Agree with above comment that there is a huge need for a book like yours - I wonder if many many moms have become daily drinkers (as I was) as a way to feel "grown up" or "de stress". Many addiction books I read (including Caroline Knapp's) I just could NOT relate to as I felt the authors were "much worse" than me, so all it did was reassure me I did not have a problem. But a book like yours, a lady who manages a family and a house, has done both working and SAHM-dom, and is on my side of 40, I can relate to. You have a wonderful, uplifting style and I've gone back and re-read lots of your posts over and over! Very much hoping your book becomes reality! Thank you so much for all you do!

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  28. Yes, Yes and Yes I would buy your book. You get us!

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  29. i would agree with what everyone else has written here. you write so well, and it feels so supportive, but also - you make us laugh, and also think -yes, I feel that too! We don't feel alone. I hope you have a wonderful holiday - i have to admit it is a long time since we self-catered and I really couldn't cope with that now! Enjoy room service - but I hope there is a turndown service too!!

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  30. Dear SM - Yes, yes, yes!! Your blog is definitely the biggest help to me quitting. And you are such an entertaining writer. I hanker for your next posts and feel very disappointed when you've missed a day!!(Realise you have your own very busy life with 3 wonderful children to look after so am just grateful for the days you do post!!) So please please please agents reading this - get this magnificent lady to write this book (and several others) so her talents and incredible AF support can reach even more people out there. You go and totally rock Jamaica SM and then come back and get scribbling/typing!! Lots of love SFM xxx

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  31. Fantastic! I was hoping you would publish. Not only would I buy it, I would prescribe it for my patients! Are you going to have illustrations? I'm thinking of the 'getting the car stuck on the roundabout' episode as a nice little line drawing with inspector plod scratching his head as SM lurches out of the car in dressing gown and fluffy slippers; on second thought it might need to be colour so the flushed hungover cheeks are visible! What a blast! What fun it is to be part of it's gestation!
    Just look after yourself and get good advice re book deal. Know a few people who have been burned...

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  32. Thought of one more thing! If you are doing an audiobook, you have to think about who is going to be the reader! What fun! Kate Winslet does a terrific Famous five, I think she would be perfect!
    What about the movie? Who would be you? Line up A list!

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  33. I'd given up on reading an intelligent, thoughtful, incisive, humorous and relevant account of becoming sober until I came across your blog last year and I was hooked from the start. I would definitely buy a book written by you on this subject. Your tone is conversational and as someone else mentioned, you are the queen of analogies! I've recommended your blog to others who I am online friends with on another 'sober blog' and I look forward to receiving the email each evening with your latest musings.

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  34. Yes for sure! I found your blog in January (via Mrs D or maybe Sober Sassy) and read every post from start until I caught up. It felt like I was reading a book. A book that made me laugh, cry, was informative (I love how you do all the research) and inspiring. So yes go for it! And have a wonderful time in Jamaica! Yay!

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  35. Definitely go for it, my particular interest in this whole debate is focused on people like myself that drink everyday until falling asleep on the sofa but never have blackouts. I have done that for years but can remember every conversation etc so some might say what's the problem? The problem is I have been functioning around wine, my whole life has been geared to making sure that wine is available in the evening and that is a very depressing way to live. A book showing the positives of an alternative way to live could be very useful.

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  36. read SM's blog from start to finish and that day I gave up drinking. I'm sober now 10 months and going strong. Would defo buy this book. Please publish it. Hilarious and so well written.

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  37. I am in love with this idea! Please write this book. I would like to be reading it now!! I'm AF 12 days partially because of this website. Because of your humor. Because of your relatable writing style. I'm just starting my AF journey, I could really use this book now. Please, don't put it off.

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  38. Yayyyyy!! I would absolutely by this book and tell others who have issues with alcohol addiction about it. In fact I would even by it for them! The first 100 days were soooo helpful to me. Knowing I wasn't alone, advice, heads up on what to expect, knowing it was okay, normal to be like that, feeling that. I've read a nbr of books, searched the internet, read AA stories and yours was the one that helped me the most by far. So thrilled for you that your doing this and for many others who you will help xx.

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  39. Yes yes yes! SM, you have a unique combination of real writing talent, an experience which resonates with so many of us in a particular socio-demographic that is under-represented in the alcohol blogosphere and literature (40ish, educated, middle class women who are professionals and mothers, holding it together but quietly drinking themselves into unhappiness and potential ruin), combined with wit, humour, a truly positive stance, and an ability to give really useful advice without being patronising or dour.

    You have helped me more than any other source, and there are so many more of us out there who would benefit from your wisdom and humour. You go girl!

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  40. Most definitely, a book! It was so important to me at the beginning of my sober journey to hear about others like myself. I felt like stopping drinking would forever doom me to an isolated life of sadly sipping weak coffee from a Styrofoam cup, if I was lucky, in a church basement with a couple of other sad drunks. Instead, I found so much support and company and FUN in blog sites like this and AA meetings and, yes, books, like the one I know you will write. Sign me up for a first edition.

    Kate
    My Days of Wine and Roses, Without the Wine
    https://haplesshomsteaders.wordpress.com

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  41. YES do it! There is a HUGE market for high bottom drunks that is not being addressed right now: middle aged women like me medicating and numbing in secret when no-one is around and we don't even realize what a serious problem we have because we haven't faced any really major consequences (yet) and because it's so mainstream! I would love to share my story with you. I have been doing so here in Denver with groups of women and the response has been incredible (basically a lot women admitting that they too have a problem but they were way to scared to talk about it). Let's get this out in the open so people can stop being ashamed and get help. xxxx

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    1. And I forgot to add I too have read a lot of memoirs and could not identify with a lot of them because their drinking was very different from me (I stopped without 12 steps, rehab etc). I loved Rachel Black's book and also Jason Vale.

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  42. SM, you know I've been on you about a book for sometime - so of course I support it. Your outline sounds good to me and I think you could reach out further to some of your readers to get more details about them and your blog helped them.

    I've not talked much about me - but I am a self identified problem drinker (I prefer to use the term instead of alcoholic as the latter is medical term which includes withdrawl). I could abstain for months at a time - would then try moderation do ok for a while and then my numbers would always come up too high.

    A little over four years ago I found and joined an online group called Moderation Management (MM)- which believes that some problem drinkers can learn to moderate (they can I know people who have done it, but it's not easy especially if your habit is well ingrained). I was there for more than three years - and though my drinking went down - my annual totals each year got a bit higher - and all the counting and feeling bad (each time I went over) was brining me down.

    I found your blog (though the recommendation Kary May (who is and abstainer but stays with MM) and your blog for some reason resonated with me like nothing ever before. It was so real and honest - and as you shared your thought process through your journey. I read your entire blog in two weeks and decided that abs was the way to go for me.

    I feel great about my decision (I'm almost at 100 days now) and am not looking back. It frees up so much mind space (counting, recording, recriminations). I also believe at sometime in the future alcohol will be seen like tabaco - a highly addictive substance which is horrible for humans. I don't think it will happen in my lifetime - but you writing your book - sharing your journey - can help the movement progress. I think you would be doing a great service to the world.

    Sorry so wordy - please write the book - I'll buy it and give to my friends who may or may not benefit from it - but I'll feel better for having shown them an option to change.

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  43. Can't wait for this book. SM's tone is is refreshingly unpreachy, supportive and funny. It's also inspiring and practical. Her words have helped me to stay sober so would definitely recommend it to anyone wanting to go alcohol free.

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  44. I would buy your book in a heartbeat. Your blog has been a bright light in my past 12 weeks of stopping a bottle a day plus more on weekends. It's been a comforting place to check in each day and be hopeful rather than made to feel like a hot mess on a downward unforgiving spiral of recovery begging for forgiveness should I fall off the wagon! I choose to be inspired and have a few laughs on my daily road to normalcy rather than terrorized with fear and guilt! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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  45. I would definitely buy the book and recommend it to people just like us - and once you start down the sober route you realise there are many many more of us out there than we first thought. There are no overt associations that seem to cater for women in our position who found wine o'clock creeping up earlier and earlier. Intelligent, educated women with nothing really to complain about. How dare we drink too much?! What right did we have when other people were drinking because they had a real problem or reason! Err, actually, we were drinking too much for many reasons and desperately needed a role model to lead us out of the dark. But none were to be found. Enter SoberMummy!!! You are quite literally a life saver and I'm confident your book will touch many more women in their hour of need. I can't wait to read it! Love SPB. xxx

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  46. Yes please! A book and also a kindle version. I would buy, buy, buy! And it would be on my bed side table and read every nigh. You are amazing and as others have written you have also inspired me to abstain and made it possible to not only start this journey but continue with it. As boozefreegabi wrote it would be a Kaz Cooke "Up the Duff" style book. Brilliant idea! I hope you are enjoying Jamaica and getting lots of room service! 😄

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  47. I think it would be a brilliant book and one that would be great serialised in the Times like the country mole used to be. You must include going on a dog walk and forgetting the dog! If you were happy to share, I think it would also be useful to add some of the failed attempts you went through before starting the blog and fully committing. As many of us know, its not easy to stay on the commitment path, the wine witch, the moderation debate, the unhelpful friends or husbands, the pot holes, these are all really important and somehow not as easy to avoid as they should be...

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  48. PS..I think Becks Blue should sponsor it!!!

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  49. Absolutely yes yes yes! Like many others I discovered your blog but have been reading it through from day one before commenting. I was drinking a couple of bottles of wine every evening plus lunchtime drinking plus at my worst morning drinking, despite holding down a fairly high powered full time job. I am now on day 26 and can safely say that I justwouldn't be here if it wasn't for your blogs. They are so well written, so honest but they give so much hope for a totally sober future. Thank you so much for everything and good luck with your continued journey! Jennie. Xxx

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  50. Dear SM, I would definitely buy your book. Your blog is wonderfully written, real and full of humour - reading your blog is like having a chat with a friend who really 'gets it'! Have a super holiday!! xx

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  51. What a brilliant idea. You not only have amazing honesty that we all find so refreshing and entertaining, but you have a talent in communicating this honesty in a hugely engaging and addictable way. You have my support from the land down under. You have changed more lives than you know (including the lives of children of similar SMs). We all feel we know you, so what a pleasure it would be to see our friend succeed with a book that will change more and more lives for the better. Lots of love and best wishes xo

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  52. Will absolutely buy the book. This blog is inspirational. I had never put my heart into giving up alcohol until I followed your journey and realised how much more fulfilling life without the wine witch could be. And it is. Thank you so much for opening my eyes to the opportunities awaiting me.

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  53. I will, of course, buy your book and am very proud to be walking this path with you.
    We need a revolution.

    Anne

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  54. Yes I would buy your book because it would be well written and funny. A book that many people could relate to. A book that would help make people stop drinking. Our society needs this book because through it we could evolve into better people, with happier lives. Your blog has given me the means to stay away from wine for 8 weeks now. I am 52 and started drinking at 16. You writing has kept me focused on my goal which is 100 days we will see after that!! Good luck.

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  55. I wouldn't buy your book, because that whole drinking thing is so behind me, BUT when I was newly sober, I bought a number of books, and had yours been available when I found your blog, I would definitely have bought it. I can back that up by saying I bought a number of books.
    You are a great writer, so I think the book will be wonderful. Also, I think a lot of publishing houses would be interested - the self-help market is extremely lucrative.
    If you do - and I think you should - I would try to sell it to a Danish publisher.
    You should check this website out. http://www.storygrid.com/
    It's an experienced editor talking a lot of craft - about structure of non-fiction, and about how to pitch a manuscript to a publisher. Apparently, with non-fiction you pitch the idea - don't write the whole thing beforehand.

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    1. Oh ... ignore the bad composition. Should teach me to read before pressing publish. Gah.

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  56. Would definitely buy your book SM! Can't wait! A x

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  57. Absolutely, yes! As I've said on other posts, this blog has made the difference , for me, between stopping until I talk myself into drinking again and actually committing to living AF. You have provided a step by step guide to ending the drinking cycle. I am grateful. Go for it!

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  58. Yes, definitely and would recommend

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