Tuesday, 24 November 2015

If You Were My Wife....

So, after three weeks of waiting, I finally saw Mr-Breast-Cancer-Oncology-Guru last night to discuss my chemotherapy schedule.

His office was at the top of a gorgeous old Harley Street house. All knee deep, pale grey carpets and polished mahogany, plus the biggest, plushest Christmas trees you've ever seen. There's a lot of money in breast cancer, it seems.

He took a piece of paper, drew a line down the middle and wrote on the top of one side positives, and on the top of the other negatives.

He started with the positives, listing things like size of tumour (relatively small), aggressiveness (mine's a lazy bugger, apparently), type (hormone positive), lymphs (clear) etcetera. It was a fairly long list.

He then moved onto the negatives. He paused, dramatically, over the right hand side of the page, then said..... "Nothing."

Nothing.

He said "If you were my wife, I would not give you chemotherapy."

(By the way, I checked. He does love his wife).

He continued, "in your case, chemotherapy would improve the prognosis by less than one percent."

On that basis, it seems crazy to poison my body (yet again!) for three months, don't you think? Like using a sledgehammer to crush a grain of sand.

I do need a course of radiotherapy (starting next week, I hope), and ten years of hormone therapy, but that's all (relatively) straightforward.

Incidentally, he did ask me how much I drank. I was thrilled.

"Nothing," I replied.

He looked shocked. "Is that a lifestyle choice?" He asked. I confessed that I had, in the past, drunk a little too much (Mr SM was trying not to snigger), so had decided to pack it in completely.

"Very wise," he says "liver disease is the next ticking time bomb amongst middle aged professionals. We see it all the time."

Things are looking up, my friends. I could be past the worst by the New Year.

Big Hugs

SM x

32 comments:

  1. So pleased to hear this! Chemo seems very unsubtle to my mind. Big hugs.

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  2. Congratulations! I'm slowly catching up on your site, I'm very new to having found it. I'm reading from the beginning as your story is so like mine; I'm fighting to get where you are at. I've order Jason Vale's book, so hoping that will be the final push to stay sober for more than 3/4 days at a time. But all that aside, wonderful news for you! My mother fought breast cancer 4 years ago; I know how scary this whole thing has been for you. My mother beat it! You will too!!

    p.s., What the doctor said, "liver disease is the next ticking bomb"...I had to do hear that.

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    1. Welcome Lia! You'll love Jason Vale - he's a great help. Good luck, and stay in touch xxx

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  3. Yay!!! That's fantastic news!! AND you got to tell a doctor that you don't drink! What a great day SM xx

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  4. Omg. I am so thrilled for you.
    My mom had radiation with no side effects. I will pray you have the same.

    I am so honoured you shared this whole story with us. Think how differently it could have turned out.

    Instead you have a rational and clear path and have built on your beautiful, clear sober life.

    Amazing.

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    1. Thanks Anne. It's all been much easier because of you lighting the way. Stillness and Peace ;-) xx

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  5. Sooooooo pleased for you! :-) :-) :-) X

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  6. Wow!!! Great news. Big hugs. Xxx

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  7. Fantastic! What great news, you must feel like a weight has been lifted off your back!

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  8. Best news possible! Good luck with the radiation treatment and a bright and optimistic new year!

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  9. LOVE this post. :) Congratulations. xxxxxxx

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  10. Wonderful news SM! I let out a little yelp of cheer when I read this! So pleased for you.
    xx

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  11. Best news of my day! My week! Like, in a really long time:) Well done!

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  12. Yay - awesome. What we've all been waiting to hear. Lots of love - SFM x

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  13. The very best outcome, so pleased for you. Better get xmas shopping though!

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  14. Wow what amazing news. So happy to hear this. Doc sounds great. X

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  15. Just come across your blog. Fabulous news that you don't need Chemo. I am on day 5 of being alcohol free. Hope I can continue like yourself x

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    1. Welcome Susie! And huge congrats on 5 days. Keep at it - we're all with you!!! SM x

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  16. That is fabulous news! And finally, a professional has asked you about your drinking habits! And you get to tell him, nada, not a drop, zilch!
    Excellent!

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  17. Ok, I've just finished reading all 215 of your posts! I did so over the past 30 or so hours (in between menial household tasks and distracted discussions with Hubby and teenaged kids). I felt a strange compulsion to read and keep reading, much like a really compelling novel. One of those novels where you find out the current situation at the beginning of the story and are then bought up to speed throughout the remaining book. (I read your last post first and then went back to your first one and started there). One thing I hate about finishing a really great novel is the sense of loss when you finally turn the last page. Not matter how good the ending is, it's always a bit sad to put the book down.
    Happily this is not the case in this situation because I get to continue reading your amazing "book" for as long as you are kind enough to continue. Thank you for this.
    I realise your blogs purpose is far more important than to simply entertain, but I think it's fantastic that you manage to get your message across and help and inspire so many people whilst still making the reading fun and interesting.
    As I stated yesterday, I consider myself to be fence sitting at the moment (not AF but thinking about it more and more) but the positive is I've not had an alcoholic drink for 4 days which in itself isn't THAT unusual for me. I generally make a conscious effort to have 2 or 3 AF days per week (often easy because I am hungover and can't stomach the thought of a drink for a day or two, but I rarely have 4 or more consecutive AF days without pre planning. There is no doubt that reading your blog has stopped me from pouring wine both last night and tonight so again I thank you.
    Without wanting to appear smug, I believe that I am in that lift heading down to the basement (rock bottom) but at the moment am still towards the mid-top of the building. At the very least I am learning the dangers of getting off too late and suspect I will get out of the lift and take the stairs back up sometime soon. Of course the hope is to be like your husband (and mine) and learn to be more sensible with alcohol and find a comfortable and safe floor that I can live happily on forever.
    Time will tell if this is possible for me but the seed has been planted and I will be watching it grow with interest and with gratitude to bloggers and authors like you who bring awareness to The Alcohol Trap.
    I hope I haven't been "transmitting and not receiving" too much in this comment.
    I'll try to remain in the shadows unless I decide to commit as I realise most of your comments come from people who are totally abstaining and I applaud both you and them!
    Love
    FS (fence sitting) or possibly one day soon (forever sober) x

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    1. Hey FS! Can't believe you read all 215! Wait until the time is right, then come and join us! I think everyone has to try to do the moderation thing before they can properly commit to totally sober. We've all been there! Big hugs xxx

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  18. delighter and exciter for you (dublin sayings..) Great news mummy. You are rocking this shit man...x

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    1. Rocking this shit, mtts? You've created a terrible image in my head! But thank you!!! Xx

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  19. Such great news SM. I am so happy to hear this. A x

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    1. Angie! Where have you been? Are you ok? Ive missed your blog. And you xxx

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  20. Dear SM, what amazing news. I am so thrilled for you. Santa has come early for you and your family again. On top of your wonderful soberspiration you certainly deserve a brilliant Christmas full of love and joy and clear of poison :0) This is just the best piece of news. I stumbled across Drink by Ann Dowsett Johnston - incredible book and a really sobering read. This and your superlative blog is a great help in dark times. Xxx

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    1. I love that book Eowyn! And she's a beautiful writer xxx

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