I was lying in bed last night reading the excellent book by Lucy Rocca: 'The Sober Revolution'.
Quick aside: how about that? Reading in bed rather than passing out on the sofa half way through a movie, leaving the long suffering husband to finish it on his own! Result.
Anyhow, I had a Eureka moment when I found a description of myself: The Maintenance Drinker.
Check this out: This is another form of very hazardous drinking defined by constant, and often secret, style of alcohol consumption (Tick! Me, me, me). Never totally sober but always topped up, these women often appear to drink little when out socially. Many pre-load (oh, yeah baby, half a bottle of Chablis as a quick 'sharpener') before leaving the house and become adept at managing their moods and outward signs of intoxication, as the thought of being ousted as an 'alkie' is, to the maintenance drinker, abhorrent (alkie? Moi?)....
.....Openness frequently does not come easily to the maintenance drinker and thus for many, it can be difficult to even acknowledge that a problem exists. Problem? What problem?
So, there you have it - me in a nutshell. And I wonder how many other perfectly turned out mothers on the school run at my oh-so-chi-chi private Chelsea prep school are in exactly the same boat. Was I the only one? Anyone else out there recognise themselves?
Apparently this blog has had more than 100 page views as of today, which I realise is a tiny little molecule in the giant ocean that is the world wide web, but it makes me happy to feel that I am not just talking to myself which is, after all, the first sign of madness.
To all you 'Maintenance Drinkers' out there - I raise a fresh lime and soda to you. Onwards and Upwards!