Tuesday 14 March 2017

Sober Tools with Four Legs

There's a great scene in the film 28 Days, the one where Sandra Bullock goes to rehab, where the 'inmates' ask when they should start dating.

The counsellor replies that first they should try looking after a plant, then, if the plant survives, they should get a pet. If both plant and pet are alive and thriving after a year they can consider a romantic relationship.

Well, presuming that you're not surrounded by lots of dead plants, I think that dogs are the very best sober tools.

Dogs get you outside, exercising, every day, and there are few better mood lifters and serotonin boosters than that.

They are great for your self esteem (which has probably taken a bit of a battering), as they think you are incredible - the best person in the whole universe.

Dogs are also natural Buddhists. If you are not particularly good at mindfulness, then just look at a dog. They think that every smell, every sound, every new experience is the best and most exciting thing ever. They greet each day with boundless enthusiasm.

There's a great cartoon doing the rounds on Facebook. It shows a man and his dog, sitting on a bench in a park looking at the moon. There are thought bubbles showing what's on their minds.

The man is thinking about getting a new car, a hot wife and going on a flashy holiday. The dog is thinking about sitting with his owner on a bench in the park looking at the moon.

Dogs are also great healers. They know when we're feeling down, or sick.

When I was going through the whole cancer thing, if I was feeling ill or miserable I'd go and lie on my bed and my dog would lie next to me, just resting his furry head on my tummy, for as long as I needed company. He didn't tell me it would all be okay, or to try not to think about it, he was just there.

Having a dog is a fabulous way to find a network of friends and social activities that do not revolve around booze. I go out less in the evening these days, but I have a group of more than ten dog owning friends and I'll meet at least one of them every single day for a walk, a coffee and a good natter.

I've been thinking about all of this because my dog is sick. He's nearly eight years old and he has never been ill. He threw up yesterday and has not eaten anything for twenty-four hours. He won't even look at any of the treats he would normally do anything for.

I can't imagine life without my dog.

We're going to the vet.

Love SM x

29 comments:

  1. Oh no! I hope your little buddy is ok, my dogs are my fur babies. They stayed with me all through my initial nightmares etc when I first quit- they are super intuitive x

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  2. I am not religious so I can't pray, but am keeping everything (fingers, legs, toes) crossed that he will be OK. And that you will too!

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  3. Good luck at the Vet. Hoping he's just eaten something dodgy on a walk (mine would) and all will be fine. x

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  4. This is an excellent post.
    Get a plant, then if it survives get a pet or look after a pet.

    Walking my dog was such a chore, such a pain - I even contemplated getting rid of him. A three-legged 7 month old ridgeback cross with no hope of re-homing. That is how selfish my addiction was. Bloody hell - what a cow!!!!!

    I am so glad for my baby now, he is 14 months only and the best mate we could have in our family. He loves, protects and gives all of himself to us. Unselfish is the only way to describe him.

    I want to be just like my dog. I strive to be as good as him. Thanks to my dog and my family (and a lot of white-knuckling) we are a better team all of us.

    No longer "surviving" through sobriety but actually living.

    Thanks for this wonderful insight :)

    Michelle xxx

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    1. Hi Michelle, I love your thought about striving to be like our dogs. Totally agree!

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  5. PS Big hugs to your dog and sending all the "get well ASAP" messages.
    M xxx

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  6. I hope he feels better soon! Big hugs and keep us posted x

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  8. Sorry, I was focusing on me not you. We have there dogs, our newest has only been with us a couple of weeks, she is a 9 week old puppy. The other two are young and much older respectively. They have both had their challenges and I am sometimes almost paralysed with worry but it has generally always been OK (although I've paid for a couple of vets' holidays in Barbados along the way). I am sure it won't be too serious - best to get it checked out and make a generous donation the vets' next 5 series beamer.

    justonemore

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  9. Fingers crossed he just has a bug, and will be better soon. Best to let the vet look though incase he has a twig or something stuck giving him a sore throat. I'm sure he will bounce back quickly.
    PS One year soberversary for me yesterday. It feels great.

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    1. HUGE CONGRATS on one year WlidcatsMaisie! That's totally brilliant! xxx

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  10. Sending good thoughts to your pup! My girl Mabel (a french bulldog) is 8 years old - when I first gave up wine, the hardest part of the day for me was 5:30 - 7:00, right when I would arrive home from work. Without kids, there's nothing to fill that blank space between work and dinner - and cooking dinner is impossible without wine, for me, even still. So, I coped by putting Mabel in the car, taking her to the nearest park or riverwalk, and getting out of the house. You are so right about four legged friends. I hope your pup recovers soon! XOXO

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  11. The other day, idly musing on the pleasure of having a dog in my life, sharing my home with another breathing thing, I was seized by the thought: migod, what if there were no dogs in the world!!?

    Think about it for a moment. Talk about bleak!!

    SM, like everyone here, I'll be holding the good thought and awaiting a good report on your poochie.

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  12. Oh no!!! How is he?????

    We are so close to getting a dog, we always had a dog when I was growing up and o do feel like they complete a home.

    I would love a golden lab! We've talked about it lots but I alaways feel worried
    About holidays and if we couldn't take them with us where would they go?!?!

    Both my girls are desperate for one and I think next summer may be the time, the holidays before my eldest starts high school.

    Anyway please let me know how he is, big hugs xxxxxxx

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  13. I do hope your dear dog gets well soon. Would be awfully grateful if you could send me a link to the cartoon. It sounds very inspirational. I am in the middle of a mindfulness course and would like to take it to my next session!

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    1. So sorry, Victoria. It cropped up on my Facebook feed, but I can't find it again! Wish I could!

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  14. My dog turned eight today, as well....we adopted him from the shelter when he was five months old. I love him with all my heart and hope yours is on the mend very soon!

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  15. I'm so sorry to hear about your dog, I know he is part of your family and how deep that bond goes. Really hope he is ok. Sending lots of love and good vibes your way. xxx

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  16. I hope your dog is ok and it's nothing too bad.

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  17. Do hope all is well .... Virtual hugs ....

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  18. I hope your dog is OK. Any update after your visit to the vet?

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  19. I do hope your dog is better, sending him and you lots of hugs. My dog is one of my best sober supporters too. Day 15 today - early days still, but one foot in front of the other!

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  20. How is the terrier? Been thinking about him. Hope all ok SM x

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  21. Hoping your dog is on the mend..?

    I'm back to day 1, but instead of feeling gloomy, I'm feeling really upbeat and determined. My last sober stint ended because we went on holiday, abroad, with a group of friends. I didn't go mad, but I did drink, and have continued with a few wines at weekends. I woke up at 5am this morning, with that feeling of dread as I realised I had drunk last night...it ends today. Last summer I was sober for 3 glorious months, and was just reaching the point of thinking it could be forever, but then another holiday persuaded me that one glass would be a good idea, which is annoying, because I'd already done a week away and stayed totally sober despite lots of pressure from others, and had completely enjoyed it!

    Anyway - I'm committing to the next 100 days sober (I've even downloaded a countdown app to my phone, so there's no going back from that!) and hence my long, and self-centred post here. I will not drink at all, for any reason, for the next 100 days, and I will be loitering around here eagerly awaiting your next inspirational post, as your posts helped me enormously on my previous 3 months of soberness.

    Love to you and your mutt xxx

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    1. Hi Minnie! Well done for getting back on the waggon! It's always the thought of that 'one glass' that trips us up, but it never is 'one glass', is it? Big hugs to you. SM xxx

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  22. Hi SM and thanks for the blog. I can't understand why I haven't found this site until now - perhaps because I only stopped drinking 19 days ago! Actually I quit in 2012 and started again in 2013 because I thought I could drink in moderation. So here I am again and this blog has had me laughing, nodding my head and quite frankly wondering how you knew so much about my experiences with wine ;)

    I stayed up too late last night trying to read every post ( and comment ), but I'm going to have to take my time and read and re-read all this good stuff. It just feels good to know that someone else has been through exactly what I have been through and knows what I know ( and am learning ).

    So I'll be following regularly and enjoying your great blog!

    Also, sorry to hear about the dog. I don't know what we'd do if we lost our little guy - they're like a part of the family.

    love

    Rob

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    1. Welcome, Rob! So glad you found us, and huge congrats on 19 days - you've done the hardest bit already! SM x

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