Friday 20 May 2016

Deja Vue

So, this weekend we're going to stay with friends in the glorious Cotswolds.

For the benefit of my American friends, the Cotswolds is the go to part of the country for London A List celebrities and Hollywood location scouts.

You know the picture of the archetypal perfect English village, all honey coloured stone and patchwork fields, on the 1000 piece puzzle that Great Aunt Edna brings out every Thanksgiving? That's the Cotswolds. So is the picture on the English biscuit tin.

It may look sleepy and peaceful, all chirpy birdsong and the distant drone of the combine harvester, but it's actually party central.

This county is the home/second home of some serious imbibers, like Kate Moss and Jeremy Clarkson, both of whom have featured in this blog (see Drinking and Sexism, and Alcohol Induced Rage).

More vino will be drunk at the house party this weekend than could fill a Cotswold swimming pool (tastefully tucked away in the walled garden). There are three families staying over, and three or four more couples coming for dinner.

And today I have a big case of the deja vues.

I've been thinking back to the last time I went to stay with these friends. It was just over a year ago, about a month before I quit for good (the timing is not entirely co-incidental).

We arrived at around 5pm. I expect our hostess offered tea or wine, but the question was academic. We got stuck in. Obviously. It was a Saturday, and we'd been on the motorway for two hours. We'd earned it.

One of the couples joining us for dinner that evening were running late, so we didn't sit down to eat until around 9pm, by which point I'd drunk at least a bottle of wine, on an empty stomach.

I cringe now thinking of the poor man who sat next to me (the fat, incoherent lush) at dinner. I remember struggling hugely to think of anything to say that wasn't a terrible cliché. What do you do? How old are your children?

I told a joke that was so bad they were still teasing me about it the next morning.

Then, at about 11pm I took myself off the bed, as I could barely stay awake/upright by that point.

The following morning I remember counting down the minutes until midday, when I could legitimately accept a glass of wine to take the edge off my headache.

This, for me, was one of the signs that my drinking was becoming a problem.

You see, 'normal drinkers' can't bear the idea of any alcohol on a hangover. Problem drinkers can't bear the idea of not having a drink on a hangover. (See my post: 5 Signs You're a Problem Drinker).

Needless to say, this weekend is going to be different.

And, you know what? I'm really looking forward to it. Because doing a weekend like this sober can be hard at times, but not half as hard as doing it rip roaringly drunk!

Have a fabulous Friday, my friends,

SM x



23 comments:

  1. Have a great time. Sounds like a blast. Say hello to the Crawleys!

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  2. Have a great time. Sounds like a blast. Say hello to the Crawleys!

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  3. Have a wonderful weekend! Hope you get good weather! Wonder who will be making a fool of themselves this time......

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  4. Not only does your blog help me stay sober, I'm also learning so much about the UK:) I'll be googling Cotswolds shortly. My first AF party is tomorrow. I will do this sober. To seal the deal I told my husband that I'm driving. There is nothing the wine witch could say to convince me to drink and drive back from Maryland to Virginia. So, it's out of hands now:) My husband is probably thinking "Crap, there must be a big project she going to want me to do."

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  5. I remember the Cotswolds fondly, many moons ago before I departed for distant lands. Enjoy your weekend xx

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  6. I googled as well, so pretty! Will be fun to hear how the party goes!

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  7. You know what thought just popped into my head? I never wanted a hair of the dog which must mean I wasn't an alcoholic. The fact that that was what I just thought probably means I am! A x

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    1. So funny. I nearly didn't write that just in case it got that reaction! Xx

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    2. I'm the same, can't drink with a hangover, but definitely have a problem. Can drink the day after a hangover though...no problem :)

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  8. Have a great time!!! And I was going to post what Angie posted! I never wanted the hair of the dog either...so I guess I'm not an alcoholic!!! Woohoo! Maybe I am a "norm?" I know...I'm not!!! sigh....Enjoy your "first" Cotswolds" sober weekend! xo

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  9. I always wanted the whole dog, hair, teeth, tail, ears the lot!! So definitely am.

    Went to the Devon County show today, all those free samples - wine, cider, beer.....I was driving and I wouldn't have enjoyed the show much after the first couple.

    Justonemore

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  10. I'm on my annual 'mummies away for the weekend ' trip... first sober night done with no problems! Not even tempted by the others drinking !Think I'm on about day 70 now !

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  11. Have a great time away, it sounds lovely.

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  12. Fond, fond mem'ries of a couple nights at Stow on the Wold, long ago.....

    Have a winderful a/f time!

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  13. Hi SM, Loving all your posts. Sorry I don’t get round to commenting more. Still loving to read it and it still helps me so much. Day 138 for me. Cannot believe it! Congrats on your moon walk. I will definitely be donating (anonymously). Your secrets and lies post was very timely for me because I totally get your wanting to keep your anonymity thing. (although would love to read any book you wrote – but you must do what’s right for you – remember – self care – has to be one of our biggest priorities). I have slight paranoia about someone finding out my identity just from commenting on a few blogs – haha – how hilarious is that. It almost stopped me commenting at all – until I realised that it was the only way I was going to crack this sobriety thing (and it worked – so many thanks to you). But I have been slightly troubled over the fact that I have told next to no one that I am doing this thing. So when it comes to being offered a drink – I’m all about the excuses. As you said – sooo worried that people will click – that I really did have a problem – and that’s why I’ve stopped – and that whole notion of being the dullest person on earth – because I do not drink. And I know my close friends will not really care as they know I’m super fun anyway – so it’s more about aquaintances and new people I meet – not even wanting to get to know me because they think I’m a square who wont touch alcohol. Pathetic I know – why care about people who matter so little – but you can’t help the way you feel. I am out for dinner soon – just 3 sets of couples – and I’m desperately trying to work out the best excuse to make. I’ve been out loads of times since getting AF – but maybe in bigger groups where it’s less obvious to not be drinking. (grateful for any advice – and on my upcoming 1st sober holiday!)
    Anyhoo - started this post couple days ago – now day 140 (yay). Have a great time in the Cotswolds. Love SFM

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    1. I have tried to change my name so no one recognises me from my name! Was too complicated so haven't but wouldn't want anyone I know to read them. Partly cos of how honest I've been about my drinking but other personal things that I've written about oh or family!

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    2. Neither of you are alone. I, too, have been a bit paranoid about being 'found out' here....yet when you consider the amount of material floating around cyberspace, it's probably pretty darned remote.

      Isn't it....??? Lolol.

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  14. I just followed your link to 5 signs you're a problem drinker. You were on day 40 then and I am on day 40 today. I scored 100% but I already knew that I would. Have a lovely weekend!

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  15. Hi SM - have a great weekend and remember, you can get to bed at 11pm again (this time not face planting but taking your make up off etc) and no-one will notice because they will all be drunk! xxx

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  16. No hangover mornings and no trying to piece together the night before.... never fails to make it all worth it!

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  17. Hope you are verging on unbearably smug and chipper at breakfast. I am imagining you in a Pucci style jumpsuit for some reason, immaculately made up and joyful. Enjoy it SM xx

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    1. I have to buy a Pucci jump suit. Now. ;-)

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