Monday 6 July 2015

Monkey Brain and Mindfulness

Alcohol addicts often talk about having 'monkey brain.' It feels like we have particularly active minds. Constantly whirring, analysing, criticising, worrying.

Or perhaps everyone has minds just as busy, but are just better at dealing with them.

Whatever the reasons behind 'monkey brain' it does seem to be one of the reasons we drink. We use alcohol to shut our heads up. Alcohol is, it seems, the only way to stop us agonising about the past or stressing about the future.

You know the feeling: you've been running around all day, your internal dialogue is driving you crazy, you sink into an armchair, pour a large glass of wine and - after a few good glugs - relative peace.

(Until about 3am when you're woken up by the monkey brain chanting a litany of self loathing).

When we stop drinking, one of the things we miss the most is that 'dimmer switch' or volume button.

Which is where mindfulness comes in.

Mindfulness is another (less toxic!) way of stopping the monkey brain for long enough to give ourselves a break.

I was a bit sceptical about mindfulness, as I thought it necessarily involved meditation and, being British, I feel a bit of a pillock meditating. Besides, who has the time?

But not so. According to Daniel Ingram, "mindfulness does not stop after you get off the cushion." In fact, mindfulness does not even have to involve a cushion.

Mindfulness is an ancient Buddhist practice, very similar to the psychological concept of 'flow'.

You know that feeling when you are totally lost in an activity, and the time seems to fly by - you're almost in a trance? You're not worrying about anything because you are totally focussed on the present moment? That's 'flow'. It's also 'mindfulness'.

Mindfulness is defined as paying attention in a particular way:  on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgementally in order increase awareness, clarity and acceptance.

So, to achieve a state of mindfulness, you don't need to learn to meditate - you can just choose an activity you love and give it your full focus. Pay proper attention to what you're doing. How it looks, feels, sounds, smells. Don't let your mind wander.

The activities that ex addicts tend to choose range from yoga and gardening, to cooking, knitting, art, dog walking or fishing. There's even a best selling colouring book called 'colouring for mindfulness.'

If any pesky worries creep into your mind notice them, then get rid of them.

(This process is known in mindfulness circles as 'wack-a-mole' after the arcade game).

After half an hour you'll have achieved something (baked a cake, weeded the garden, caught a fish - whatever), but you'll also feel great - relaxed, calm and peaceful. Without the drink.

So be mindful. Go with the flow. Get in the zone.

Love to you all,

SM x



18 comments:

  1. My daughter and I did a course thingy when she was seeing a counsellor and were taught about mindfulness. It didn't resonate with me much at the time but this time when I stopped drinking it really kicked in with me and has helped me no end. It is like meditating but without all the pressure to meditate "properly". Day 38 for me!

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  2. Thank you so much for writing this blog (which I found by way of mumsnet), I have decided today is my day 1. It's only in the past year that my drinking has escalated to a bottle a night (or more), & it's scaring me.

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    1. welcome Feebz, and well done! You won't regret it! (most of the time :-)) xx

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    2. Thanks! We have an Oz family trip planned for next Feb, but thankfully my family aren't really big drinkers (if at all). I might blog myself, but it wouldn't be as witty/erudite as yours! :)

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    3. I'm sure it will! Blogging really helps. It' like free therapy ;-)

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    4. We've all been where you are, and you are about to improve your life no end! Give the blogging a go, it does help, it doesn't matter what you say. And it means that you will check in with us regularly, and having the support network really does make a difference - for me anyway.xx

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    5. Congratulations on Day 1 - this is Day 28 for me. Have to say the blogging people are what keeps me going sometimes. There's so much advice and support out there.

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    6. Hear hear Suzie! Thank God for the interweb and all you wonderful people! And huge congrats to you on 28 days! Awesome :-)

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    7. Thanks! :D I feel much better for having the best nights sleep I've had in a long time!

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  3. Great post - I must admit I'd pooh-poohed the idea of mindfulness previously, I too would feel a bit of a pillock (love that word) sitting on a cushion trying to meditate. I should try it some time though. Until then it's going to be gardening. Or perhaps the children's Lego Starwars; I'm finding a strange enjoyment in building that stuff. If only the little buggers would stop losing bits of it!

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  4. Colouring books are all the rage here. I tried listening to noises of the ocean crashing on the shore, but it made me want to pee all the time. BUT, I do find that I am able to concentrate for much longer periods of time, and I have got my reading mojo back. And the blogging helps, I feel like I have a new circle of best friends :)

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  5. So I've worked my way through your blog today. I came upon it when I was researching headaches and alcohol withdrawal. I love how open-minded you are about this subject and how intelligently you sift through information for your readers. I know you've considered writing and publishing a book. I think you should publish this blog as a book. I know I was hooked after the first few posts. I feel like I have learned a lot and I relate to you a lot. Oh - I'm 14 days sober minus a try at "moderation" - still contemplating that one :) rock on!

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    1. Hi Katz! That's so kind of you, thank you! And huge congrats on 14 days! Don't worry about the headaches - classic detox symptom. Try vitamin B and, if you're having sleep problems, magnesium. Please stay in touch - it really helps to have friends to talk to! And good luck - you're doing the best thing xx

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  6. Yes I read your post on the vitamin B and my "long- suffering husband"(lol) just bought me a one a day women's vitamin that has B6 and B12 in it, as well as 18mg iron. I am currently sipping on a mock Bloody Mary which helps me with cravings. My current sugar craving is Weight Watchers chocolate and raspberry ice cream bars at 90 cal a pop. I can't get enough of them. Thanks to you, now I know why. And I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. Evenings are the toughest. When 5-6 pm comes and we are watching TV the "wine witch" comes a-calling. I am also having to deal with emotions and problems head-on without the crutch of alcohol. I haven't decided if I will ever drink again. You're right about the slippery slope. I know I want to be clear and present and lose the 50+ pounds I've packed on the past two years.

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  7. I luuurve my coloring books. I bought really fancy colored pencils and a blender pen before I quit drinking and told myself in a really strict Super Nanny voice: you MAY NOT color when you're drinking. Treat!

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  8. I think I knew yoga was for me when I started reading the sutras and it said yoga is the way to still the fluctuations of the mind.

    Calming that inner chatter chatter has saved me.

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  9. Going to do a course on mindfulness and really hope that this is the missing ingredient. I'm struggling to string a couple of months sober together. Its' not that I need booze these days to have a good time, I’ve sorted that part out, its stress that triggers me and makes me lapse.

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