tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post6898406661082052710..comments2024-03-27T00:48:06.021-07:00Comments on Mummy was a Secret Drinker: Coping With Anxiety - SoberSoberMummyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09149651295183331661noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-23362986278562027072016-02-05T16:06:43.446-08:002016-02-05T16:06:43.446-08:00Great post and love the analogies to drinking with...Great post and love the analogies to drinking with the peeing and the blanket. Both are very true. Also thanks for the tips. I have had those moments of anxiety or when a trigger moment comes along. I have kept a list of items that I can do on my cell phone to refer to at those mindless moments thinking only of a drink. It really seems to help me. Thanks for the blog, very helpful!Finding my way in SanJosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00206457614877993134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-87812715068980236612016-02-05T13:18:47.388-08:002016-02-05T13:18:47.388-08:00Thank you, still maneuvering that Obstacle Course....Thank you, still maneuvering that Obstacle Course.Tams62https://www.blogger.com/profile/01780445920264611084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-85909133053957957602016-02-05T13:16:36.871-08:002016-02-05T13:16:36.871-08:00Just another thought, would love to hear if you ha...Just another thought, would love to hear if you have any feedback on the emotion of ANGER. My husband and I have been quarreling a lot this week, about a multitude of things. If anxiety and drinking is like "peeing your pants to keep warm"' then anger and drinking is like " pouring alcohol on a fire to stamp it out!" I will shamefully admit, I have pulled a "watch me drink" when angry with my spouse. It is the emotion that will quickly make me want to drain the bottle.Tams62https://www.blogger.com/profile/01780445920264611084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-56472507988808205002016-02-05T11:22:52.998-08:002016-02-05T11:22:52.998-08:00Fantastic post as ever SM. Just what I need to hel...Fantastic post as ever SM. Just what I need to help me on my way - day 34 here. Cant believe it! Love SFM xxxSFMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10502581202279407407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-77260562645371387722016-02-05T07:40:25.570-08:002016-02-05T07:40:25.570-08:00Welcome, NorthWoman! And WELL DONE YOU! You've...Welcome, NorthWoman! And WELL DONE YOU! You've done brilliantly. Keep at it, and please stay in touch xxxSoberMummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09149651295183331661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-9136882779246903242016-02-05T07:31:02.316-08:002016-02-05T07:31:02.316-08:00Oy! Now that I've succeded - talk abt anxiety!...Oy! Now that I've succeded - talk abt anxiety! - i wanted to comment on how your 4th paragraph ('hard on ourselves') resonated with me. Just this morning, I was thinking how I wanted to note in the 'dry' journal I've been keeping how refreshing is the QUIET in my head. No voice yammering at me, fault-finding, critical, self-recriminating. Instead, there's just a sense of calm. Incredibly refreshing and heretofore pretty much unknown.<br /><br />I signed up NYDay for Dry January2016 pretty much impulsively after reading an article. And somehow...it worked. The sense of making a commitment was the trigger (GOOD trigger!) I seemed to need. Just a few days away from the nightly alcohol routine started to bring clarity and a growing acceptance of how important/needed this is for me. <br /><br />Have been reading your blog since my Day 1, SM, and it has been incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing your life and for your insight and support. Amazing that you were able to get thru this C. Experience in a dry state! Congratulations on yesterday's good news and continued healthy progress to you!<br /><br />Northwoman1996https://www.blogger.com/profile/09855277712359787495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-83091991279691305022016-02-05T07:18:44.359-08:002016-02-05T07:18:44.359-08:00Difficulties posting a response...my first ever. L...Difficulties posting a response...my first ever. Lost 2, this is a testing try. Sorry!Northwoman1996https://www.blogger.com/profile/09855277712359787495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-54068995728944408582016-02-05T06:31:37.009-08:002016-02-05T06:31:37.009-08:00Really good post! Just what I needed to read. Than...Really good post! Just what I needed to read. Thank you! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16297882874927177927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-21186214418055581582016-02-05T05:43:09.863-08:002016-02-05T05:43:09.863-08:00Headaches are perfectly normal Tams! It's deto...Headaches are perfectly normal Tams! It's detox. I bet you're exhausted, too? It'll all get better! XxxSoberMummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09149651295183331661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-22917073883718783612016-02-05T05:31:54.762-08:002016-02-05T05:31:54.762-08:00I am sorry I didn't put two and two together w...I am sorry I didn't put two and two together with the alcohol and menopause correlation. A bitch of a time with peri menopause and into menopause....30 lb weight gain, hot flashes that came as often as contractions, D & C, you name it. Hormone therapy has helped a lot but not without the risks. I used to have the wine glass on the nightstand thinking it would help me sleep through the hot flashes. Waiting to see what a difference no alcohol will make on many fronts physically. Day 9 for me, woke up with a terrible headache.Tams62https://www.blogger.com/profile/01780445920264611084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-76630692506532103242016-02-04T16:20:50.614-08:002016-02-04T16:20:50.614-08:00Great post SM. I think I have suffered from anxiet...Great post SM. I think I have suffered from anxiety for a long time. I just never realised what it was. I just thought it was my normal. I'm hoping it will get a bit better now. And if it doesn't, I will go and see someone about it. A Angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07553400229726508527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-21078835541184941502016-02-04T15:36:23.035-08:002016-02-04T15:36:23.035-08:00With you both in the early days! I try to remember...With you both in the early days! I try to remember the waking up at 3am feeling gross and know I don't want to go there again. Yes, let's do this! Day 17 and counting for me.<br />runningaway2016https://www.blogger.com/profile/15927586433219852292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-59964113631568993742016-02-04T14:57:09.808-08:002016-02-04T14:57:09.808-08:00As ever, on the mark. As I get further away from ...As ever, on the mark. As I get further away from day one, so my anxiety attacks have diminished and I can put them into perspective. Basically they were crap, worrying about stuff that I couldn't change or unbelievably trivial in reality. I have had a couple of days of PAWS though and retreated to the safety of an early bath and bed. Progress none the less.<br /><br />JustonemoreJustonemorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07660105307364281743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-29912509992155575342016-02-04T14:49:40.513-08:002016-02-04T14:49:40.513-08:00My anxiety is so much more manageable now that I s...My anxiety is so much more manageable now that I stopped drinking.<br />Hugs!<br />xo<br />WendyUntipsyteacherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14975521042875808241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-14893528004913408012016-02-04T14:48:08.110-08:002016-02-04T14:48:08.110-08:00Thanks Lia! Yes, SM's posts have been an ars...Thanks Lia! Yes, SM's posts have been an arsenal of strength. I think I've read most of the blog by now and when little, and not so little challenges come up I refer back to what I've learned here ( and from other posters;). Let's do this xxCliohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01689305623130443411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-60857564221366472462016-02-04T14:28:12.709-08:002016-02-04T14:28:12.709-08:00Hold strong Clio. I'm right there with you. ...Hold strong Clio. I'm right there with you. Only 35 days sober, feeling great about that, but triggers keep popping up, and I feel like giving in; but when I read SM's post for the day, I gain the strength to hold on for another day. Remember the agony of drinking, not the "fake" good times. Good luck!<br />Lia Leonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13211861233662358798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-52409427020215328562016-02-04T14:18:12.173-08:002016-02-04T14:18:12.173-08:00Yes to the menopausal symptoms! I noticed a huge d...Yes to the menopausal symptoms! I noticed a huge difference! I started that joy at 42 while I was pregnant (yes it is possible to be perimenopausal and pregnant - utter madness)!!! Anyway just about to half my HRT medication dose on recommendation of my dr... Clare https://www.blogger.com/profile/09692234327327707997noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-75424785322780484452016-02-04T14:16:20.275-08:002016-02-04T14:16:20.275-08:00Anxiety is the reason why I stopped. A bottle of w...Anxiety is the reason why I stopped. A bottle of wine in the evening would result in a state of dull panic for the better part of the working day. It was particularly bad because a good part of my job is standing in front of people talking ( early stage withdrawal anyone?) <br /><br />The first good thing I noticed once all the poison was out of my system is how calm I felt. This core calm is the reason I haven't been tempted that much through the fatigue, pissed-offedness, and stress of the first month. <br /><br />Here I am though having a MAJOR craving. It's Thursday. I'm off on Fridays. The cleaning lady came today. This is my trigger. Ahh! Some nice wine. ( same feeling like a couple of weeks ago during the blizzard which I posted about)<br /><br />What's stopping me? The thought of tired grossness and the bone- crushing dehibiltating anxiety that will inevitably follow. <br /><br />I am very early days, but I just can't go back to that. This keeps me going for now. XxCliohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01689305623130443411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-32510478991331745222016-02-04T11:12:06.858-08:002016-02-04T11:12:06.858-08:00Thanks so much for this great post. I was also goi...Thanks so much for this great post. I was also going to comment on medication. I'm realizing now that perhaps I should have been on an SSRI all along to help with lifelong anxiety. I'm starting one now and quitting drinking at the same time. I'm just waiting (hoping) for some calm to kick in. Funny enough, I've been exercising all along and to Anne's point, it could be another addiction. Sugar is definitely a problem for me. In the short term trying to control it better in the long term hope to give up most. I think it's best not to do too much at once though.runningaway2016https://www.blogger.com/profile/15927586433219852292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-47406329097580686232016-02-04T09:20:13.271-08:002016-02-04T09:20:13.271-08:00Thanks for the book recommendations! Re hot sweats...Thanks for the book recommendations! Re hot sweats, these are a very common side effect of Tamoxifen, but I've had none. Funnily enough, those who do get them are advised to cut down on alcohol! A co-incidence? I don't think so! XxxSoberMummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09149651295183331661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-83926852111307987542016-02-04T09:18:02.948-08:002016-02-04T09:18:02.948-08:00Thanks so much, Anne, for your point about medicat...Thanks so much, Anne, for your point about medication. Well said xSoberMummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09149651295183331661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-61087730673792322122016-02-04T09:16:47.913-08:002016-02-04T09:16:47.913-08:00Have faith, Annie :-) xxHave faith, Annie :-) xxSoberMummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09149651295183331661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-62273691562053984692016-02-04T09:08:12.212-08:002016-02-04T09:08:12.212-08:00As ever, thank you for your advice but equally, if...As ever, thank you for your advice but equally, if not more so, for your beautiful writing. It strikes me that one of the benefits of sobriety which you missed - don't take this as a criticism, I'm assuming you are too young for it - is a reduction in menopausal hot sweats (apologies to those of you who are grossed out by bodily effluent (is that the right word??)). I'm bouncing between sobriety and - um - not - so can definitely report a difference. And not quite on the anxiety front, but for me there is a build up (on some days) of what I can only describe as resentment regarding clutter in the house, failure to put things in dishwasher etc. And for this a good belly-laugh is an effective antidote - can I recommend to all you married/cohabiting/in-a-relationship women "How to be a husband' by Tim Dowling. I (sneakily) bought it for my husband for his birthday so that i could read it (but also get points for having bought a present). Also good is "Things my girlfriend and I argue about" by Mil Millington.Midlifecrisishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00480083841595444048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-84101022921154888992016-02-04T08:45:14.628-08:002016-02-04T08:45:14.628-08:00Yes. Help is important.
Some of us will find that...Yes. Help is important. <br />Some of us will find that we have spent our lives trying to control anxiety and that it must be addressed. It is a mental illness and while exercise, mind,fullness, good food, sobriety, bubble baths and breathing all help, medication is also an option.<br /><br />I never even realized this. I'm well educated. I have 3 degrees. I am a professional. And I never recognized that anxiety disorders were a diagnosed condition, or that my crippling panic was different than others stress anxiety.<br /><br />Early sobriety brings all this out. Finding professional help can really make a huge difference.<br /><br />Wonderful post. Excellent advice as always!<br /><br />AnneAinsobrietyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15642935819165465190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-85246156475121560072016-02-04T07:57:20.507-08:002016-02-04T07:57:20.507-08:00A brilliant, and really helpful list. My anxiety h...A brilliant, and really helpful list. My anxiety has been a hurdle to my getting sober; when I worry, I drink. And then I worry about drinking. SIGH. Day one again for me today...but I'll try not to worry about that. Annie xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com