tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post1532806057250436322..comments2024-03-27T00:48:06.021-07:00Comments on Mummy was a Secret Drinker: Reasons to Quit Drinking #6: Because You're a ParentSoberMummyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09149651295183331661noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-75808079993106797202016-06-07T23:52:14.448-07:002016-06-07T23:52:14.448-07:00I didn't think my kids had really noticed I...I didn't think my kids had really noticed I'd stopped drinking. I haven't talked to them about it but a couple of days ago my nine year old asked how long I hadn't drunk for. I had to tell him that although I hadn't drunk for 3 months I had had some wine over the bank holiday. He said "I think it's really great you not drinking, don't worry about having some wine last week but see how many years you can go without it now" - pretty strong motivation!Juleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04887165475877871601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-91025563630765983072016-01-14T20:10:51.165-08:002016-01-14T20:10:51.165-08:00This blog was very hard to read....oh the guilt. T...This blog was very hard to read....oh the guilt. Top that off with Jason Vale's chapter, "Passive Drinking" and I really wanted to crawl in a hole. I can only think that alcohol takes away the authentic you, who you were meant to be in all the various roles in your life.Tams62https://www.blogger.com/profile/01780445920264611084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-68294016572464572192016-01-13T10:29:10.544-08:002016-01-13T10:29:10.544-08:00Glad you're here, Luci-loo! And you're so ...Glad you're here, Luci-loo! And you're so right - alcohol makes everything better....until it doesn't! xxSoberMummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09149651295183331661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-58900745051042497992016-01-13T10:27:54.124-08:002016-01-13T10:27:54.124-08:00Hi meanie beanie and welcome! I generally recommen...Hi meanie beanie and welcome! I generally recommend not 'coming out' to friends to soon, as you're far too raw to have to explain ad defend yourself! Why not tell people you're doing Dry January. Everybody seems to be - yay! big hugs xxxSoberMummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09149651295183331661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-72177656049081834632016-01-13T10:26:02.032-08:002016-01-13T10:26:02.032-08:00No beating up of selves allowed! What you're d...No beating up of selves allowed! What you're doing now makes up for all of that in spades xxxSoberMummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09149651295183331661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-69492052399923192172016-01-13T10:24:41.745-08:002016-01-13T10:24:41.745-08:00Yikes - I'm dreading that next phase ;-)Yikes - I'm dreading that next phase ;-)SoberMummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09149651295183331661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-83581025765574532962016-01-12T23:03:47.753-08:002016-01-12T23:03:47.753-08:00I starting drinking excessively when I realized it...I starting drinking excessively when I realized it was easier to parent my challenging older son with a little helper. That was 3 years ago. What was once helpful has become a long journey to realization that moderation won't work for me. I'm on my third attempt in two months to quit. Day 3 and going well! Thank you for this blog. I'm so glad that I found it!Luci-loo!https://www.blogger.com/profile/12113618088580415058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-38460203371642736202016-01-12T17:23:48.937-08:002016-01-12T17:23:48.937-08:00SM, This is an awesome reason - and the one that ...SM, This is an awesome reason - and the one that finally got me to act. You covered so well about being present while they are growing up. Another thing that I want to do is be here as a parent as my child becomes and adult - to see the major events in their lives - and be a healthy grandparent (hopefully). This journey we're taking is increasing my chances of doing that - thanks again. Eeeyore.modhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17878586242292184206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-39198041868358964822016-01-12T15:06:09.515-08:002016-01-12T15:06:09.515-08:00No one wants to be a crappy parent. And most drink...No one wants to be a crappy parent. And most drinkers will argue they are doing it all still. But I know my family life improved dramatically with sobriety.<br /><br />A cranky, hungover, anxious, defensive mom is not a pretty thing.<br /> I know, it used to be me.<br /><br />Ainsobrietyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15642935819165465190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-55355765098592804282016-01-12T14:03:58.817-08:002016-01-12T14:03:58.817-08:00It's so good not to feel the guilt any more - ...It's so good not to feel the guilt any more - about being hungover and snappy with my little ones, about not being bothered to play with them or take them out, and about passing out cold and worrying what'd happen of they needed me in the night. Ouch. Great post, SM, am loving this "reasons" series. Red xxRed (RedRecovers)https://www.blogger.com/profile/05049627141004901254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-53381240875591325922016-01-12T12:48:42.192-08:002016-01-12T12:48:42.192-08:00I just found this blog, it is just what I needed! ...I just found this blog, it is just what I needed! I had 3 days sober which is unfathomable to me! Then, I cheated 3 days in a row because I was with other people, and don't know how to navigate that yet. I am 2 days sober again.. My son will be 18, I might be too late to make any significant impact on him but I am trying. I know I can do this! Thank you. meanie beaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14141857752015161140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-57449742551544600212016-01-12T12:45:05.663-08:002016-01-12T12:45:05.663-08:00Hi SM - Lurve this post. Our kids are the most imp...Hi SM - Lurve this post. Our kids are the most important precious thing in our worlds. There are a gazillion reasons why I am a better mummy without the vino. Have so much guilt over how much I may have 'damaged' them up until now (even though as with so many of us on these blogs, we were all highly functioning alcohol dependent mummy's, so on the face of it our kids were all unbelievably well parented!!). Anyway I'm starting to realise that part of this road to recovery is being kind to oneself and not beating oneself up about everything. We must live in the present and look forward to the future - not dwell on regrets of the past. So I am so eternally grateful to you SM (and although my kids do not know this - they as a consequence are too)because you have helped me so much on this road to being AF and due to this I am a much better Mama. Lots of love - SFM xxx SFMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10502581202279407407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-31034840414462685592016-01-12T11:50:11.026-08:002016-01-12T11:50:11.026-08:00Yes! My biggest incentive (and not wanting to get ...Yes! My biggest incentive (and not wanting to get an alcohol related illness) is not wanting my kids to see me drunk or growing up thinking every day drinking is normal. My eldest will be 12 soon and already has a few evening things on which require lifts here there and everywhere. Didn't want to be constantly annoyed that I was having to stay sober to pick him up. How ridiculous does that sound!!!!!! Laterly i always fell asleep after a few glasses of wine so sometimes missed out on bedtimes etc. I think the older they get the more they need you to be there and aware and willing to listen to them if they want or need to talk. Whew I feel relieved today to be still off it!Edinburgh Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16507850075300916316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-70584590193101972892016-01-12T09:16:56.868-08:002016-01-12T09:16:56.868-08:00Not to mention the horrible example......at least ...Not to mention the horrible example......at least I can impart honest advice now, before it was "just do as I say, not do as I do"...xxJackiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09236064383725290818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-76962726633134552542016-01-12T08:34:21.179-08:002016-01-12T08:34:21.179-08:00I often wonder now how the hell I managed to paren...I often wonder now how the hell I managed to parent my kids when I was drinking. It's a tough job sober, even tougher drunk/hungover. I love now that my conscience is clear (as clear as any parents can be..) and I know I'm able to do my best (phone use excluded) and be a better example to them. x Mtts. My time to shinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16901439496533901216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-74973421891785587662016-01-12T08:22:33.959-08:002016-01-12T08:22:33.959-08:00Yes and sometimes your older kid Might get into tr...Yes and sometimes your older kid Might get into trouble. Bad choices, dares, 'not thinking through to the consequence' type of actions - expensive, possibly legal issues. You will be able to handle it with your head held high, and work through it together. And your wonderful, smart kid will be ok, in part because you didn't freak out (as much, hey we are all human). And so will you be ok. TMaryAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-48273009621716596522016-01-12T08:18:59.777-08:002016-01-12T08:18:59.777-08:00I remember getting a call from the school (while s...I remember getting a call from the school (while sitting at lunch with some girlfriends) to tell me my son was ill and could I come to collect him. I was the only one not drinking and hate to admit that the relief was tinged with more than a hint of smugness. <br /><br />I also give the lifts to their music lessons on cold, wet evenings - instead of making them cycle because it teaches independence and is character building (euphemism for mum wants wine)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03384586539207057247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4763877266715908242.post-80588530875836727792016-01-12T05:49:18.851-08:002016-01-12T05:49:18.851-08:00So true.. I got to the point where I hated the so...So true.. I got to the point where I hated the sound of my nagging/frustrated/tired/vaguely sarcastic/impatient tones... I kept wondering when motherhood would be fun again.. <br /><br />Recently I've come to realise the kids were always fun - yes, exhausting,exasperating and downright naughty at times - but always fun... it was just that I had ceased to be. SWMumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08695623151674239441noreply@blogger.com