So, ever since being inspired by Sarah Connor (see Strong Women Don't Drink!) I have been running every day.
When I say running, I actually mean a combination of running and walking. And anyone more interested in veracity than being supportive might actually say jogging rather than running. But, hell, it's a start.
The terrier is in shock. He's used to me ambling along, checking e-mails, making 'phone calls and chatting to passers by while he wanders off having a good old sniff and marking the territory. Now if he stops for a bit he has to sprint to catch up with me.
I wouldn't say that I'm enjoying the whole thing yet. I enjoy getting back. And every now and again I get a glimpse of 'runners high' - the endorphin rush that us lot have been chasing for years in the bottom of a bottle.
The only way I can keep going for longer than a few minutes is with a really good sound track, so I've put together a playlist on my iPhone with a whole load of clubbing tunes from my misspent youth including Fat Boy Slim, Chemical Brothers, Leftfield, Robert Miles and Faithless.
(Quick aside: I used to work with the actual brother of one of the Chemical Brothers (who weren't actual brothers). I remember him telling me about taking his middle class, middle aged parents to one of the Chemical Brother's gigs in Brixton. They were totally bemused, not only by the music, but by the fact that complete strangers kept hugging them).
This morning I ended up running to a Faithless track: Insomnia (click here for a reminder). The lyrics, I can't get no sleep (repeat), combined with the relentless beat took me back vividly to all those nights I used to spend from 3am onwards tossing and turning, sweating and fretting.
I would get stuck in an endless cycle of trying to sleep, thoughts racing, hating myself, then going to the loo, then going back to bed, then going to get a drink of water, then trying to get to sleep...repeat....until about half an hour before the alarm was due to go off, at which point I'd drop off and have weird dreams.
(For more on alcohol and insomnia see my post on Sleep, Glorious Sleep)
It struck me that I haven't had a night like that for nearly five months! Even if I wake up in the night worrying about something I can think about it logically, park it and go back to sleep. I sleep for, on average, seven hours a night. Proper, restful sleep.
Those tracks still give me a pang of nostalgia, but I wouldn't swap the natural high of a sunny, Sunday morning feeling energetic and fabulous for anything.
Love to you all,
SM x
Isn't that amazing. We go for so long thinking night waking and distress is normal. Not having it-or waking, being logical and going back to sleep-is perfect.
ReplyDeleteDo you have Spotify? There are some really good playlists for every sport. I use it for my yoga classes. It is so easy!
I hate running. I have tried, but my body is just not made for it. And honestly, I see people running and they look so miserable sometimes. Nope, I will stick with yoga.
Anne
I concur, I will only run if something is chasing me. But some people love it! As long as you're movin' and groovin' it's all good. I'm a fan of weight training and biking, m'self. I feel yoga coming on soon as well.
DeleteI concur, I will only run if something is chasing me. But some people love it! As long as you're movin' and groovin' it's all good. I'm a fan of weight training and biking, m'self. I feel yoga coming on soon as well.
DeleteI concur, I will only run if something is chasing me. But some people love it! As long as you're movin' and groovin' it's all good. I'm a fan of weight training and biking, m'self. I feel yoga coming on soon as well.
DeleteHi sm I haven't been running (yet) but danced to the faithless link around the kitchen smiling and remembering those restless wretched nights !! Isn't life amazing without the wicked wine witch whispering and cajoling us on
ReplyDeleteHi SM! Well I survived my weekend alcohol free at the lake house. I was pretty crabby around cocktail hour and did not venture to the campfire or late night drinks with the neighbors but I made it. I went to bed early and felt great in the morning! Was up with my kids at 7 while hubby slept till 10 and then nursed a hangover all morning. I kept thinking of your posts and knew I could do it. I too love running! have you thought of signing up for a road race for motivation to keep going. It does get easier. Yoga and strength training is also great to add to the running routine. I finished 3 books on the "sober life" this weekend. Jason Vale, Sober is the new black and the sober revolution. All great reads!! If you have any others to recommend let me know:)
ReplyDeleteYay! Well done healthynursemum! That's amazing! And it will get easier to join in more and stay up later. I have persuaded #1 to start doing 5k park runs with me after the holidays (so need to get in shape by then!) and am definitely planning on taking up yoga as several of you have recommended it enthusiastically! There is a post from around a month ago (sorry am on iPhone so can't do you a link) called SoberMummys Book Club with recommendations from me and others. One of my all time faves is 'Drinking: A Love Affair' by Caroline Knapp. Also, Wine Bitch didn't tell you about her fab blog www.thewinebitch.blogspot.com Big hugs, and huge congrats again! SM x
DeleteOh, healthynursemom, this is not only a sober blogging community, but also a sober book club! And possibly running or jogging club :). I can recommend Jill Stark's High Sobriety, Mrs D is Going Without - Lotta Dann, and I know that SM will recommend The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins, if you like a bit of fictional drunkenness. Congrats on your weekend, it does get easier, and the feeling of smugness when you are all bright eyed in the morning can be savoured forever :)
ReplyDeleteThanks SM and wine bitch! (have to chuckle at your name) I am picturing you dressed all in black with a broom stick writing your blog, lol. I'm really savouring the smugness. My hubby, 2 kids and 3 dogs have all stayed on at the lake house for a week of vacation while I am home working. I am secretly loving having the house to myself with no temptation to drink whatsoever. I make a virgin Caesar when I get home after work to relax by the pool, then tea at night when watching T.V. or reading. Also going for an evening walk around 7:30 pm which I would have never done before as I'd be 2 rum and cokes in and starting on my first glass of wine by that point before. Day 10 for me. I'm down 7 lbs in one week too I forgot to add. I'm also eating super healthy and exercising daily. So far I've told everyone I'm doing a 30 day cleanse as I'm not ready to discuss ending my affair with alcohol permanently. To be truthful I am still battling the moderation argument hard. We have a week vacation at our lake house coming up in 3 weeks with a whole gang of friends and their kids coming up. It's an annual event and it's pretty much a drunkfest. I don't know how I'm going to cope. Trying not to think about it right now as I'm hoping 3 weeks from now my resolve will be even stronger. I really appreciate this community I've discovered. Hearing from you all that are "farther down the sober line" than me is giving me a lot of hope that I can redefine the new alcohol version of myself. Hugs from Canada! xo
ReplyDeleteI'm in Canada too - West Coast, Vancouver Island x
DeleteWe've all battled the moderation thing healthynursemum. If you haven't already read them then check out my 3 posts on this one: moderation. Is it possible? Moderation. Is it possible? Part 2 and moderation. Is it possible? Part 3!!! Xx
DeleteI am in Canada too. You can find me on Wordpress
Deletehttps://ainsobriety.wordpress.com/
I'm in northern Alberta.
Love the fellow canucks on here! I am in Toronto. Now we just need to find someone from the maritimes and we will have the country covered! I will check out your blog too Anne! I did read your moderation posts SM, awesome. You really should write a book! xo
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